319. Chapter 319

After The Late Shaft

Episode 2.20

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: They want me…to not own Castle. And I don't. Rating: K Time: See above.

"Why can't I be more like Castle?" Kate Beckett asked herself. No one answered her since she was sitting alone in her apartment. Not exactly like Castle. She thought. I don't want to be some guy's conquest, a one night stand. I could never do what Ellie Monroe did, just sleep with some guy I just met and I certainly would never sleep with anyone to advance my career. I actually feel sorry for her if that's the only way she can advance her career.

"I want to be something like Castle." She decided, out loud. I want to have some fun in my life. When I was in high school and college I had lots of fun. Oh, sure, I was Rebel Becks, the sort of fun the other people had was beneath me. I wanted cool, dangerous, unconventional fun. Now I wish I'd had more conventional fun, sometimes at least, but I did have fun. Maybe my prom would have been more fun than a poetry slam. I'll never know. But I want fun now.

Kate smiled to herself. Nebula 9. Now that was fun. Geeky, nerdy fun, but I enjoyed every bit of it. Kate's eyes went to the Nebula 9 DVDs tucked into a corner of her bookcase. I haven't had fun since I was at Stanford, not really. Oh, Will Sorenson was kind of fun, but there was always this tension between us. I knew that he'd always put his job first. And he did. As soon as he was offered a job in Boston, he was off without me. Kate laughed to herself. And what about Detective Kate Beckett? I'm as married to my job as Will ever was. More so, even. He was career oriented, as they say. I'm driven. I have to be a cop, a homicide cop. I have to find whoever it was who murdered my mother, no matter what. But I can't make that my life any more. I hope.

But is a cop all I can ever be? Look at Castle. He's a very successful novelist, an outstanding homicide detective, if a highly unorthodox detective, a good father and son. No, not a good father, he's an outstanding father. Anyone would be thrilled to have raised a daughter like Alexis. And, doing all of that, he can have a good time. That charity event we went to catch the jewel thieves is the sort of thing he goes to all of the time. Mix with people, chat, flirt, and have a good time. I used to be able to do that. Why can't I do that now?

Okay, I may be a little out of practice. I'll admit that. My date with Brad Decker, the fireman, proved that. What kind of a creep asks if you want to have sex in the middle of dinner on your first date? I never should have let Lanie set me up with a blind date. I need to get some idea of what kind of a guy I'm dealing with before I date him. Rule number one.

Rule number two? No one night stands. And rule number three will be…have fun?

The next morning Kate arrived at the precinct and went to see Lanie.

"You're looking good this morning, sweetie." Lanie said happily. She was always glad to see her friend looking happy, that being rare enough.

"I'm thinking about making a change in my life." Kate said seriously.

"What kind of change?" Lanie said, smirking.

"I need to stop being a cop 24/7. I need to get a life."

"I've been telling you that for years, honey. You're just realizing that I'm right at this late date?"

Kate shook her head. "Oddly enough, I'm afraid that it's Castle that made me want to have more fun in my life."

"Oh, so you're finally going to get together with Writer Boy?"

"Castle? No. Not Castle."

"Why not?"

"We have a good arrangement now, and I don't want to screw that up. Castle's a good partner, he's fun, which is why I've decided that I want to change, and he's a friend. But I'm afraid that if we dated, we'd end up in bed and he'd lose interest and be gone."

"Are you sure about that?" Lanie asked, seriously.

"Look at what happened with Castle and that actress. It was painfully obvious that the only reason she threw herself at Castle was to get the part of Nikki Heat in the movie. I don't know whether Castle is just so egotistical that he thinks that all women are just dying to hop into bed with him, or if he just doesn't care if he's being used as long as he gets what he wants. Neither alternative is that appealing. No, dating Castle is out."

"Are you sure that Castle isn't looking for more than just sex with you?" Lanie asked. "He's been with you for going on two years. He's been shot at, beaten up, threatened, all sorts of things. He might just want to be with you, Kate."

"I don't pretend to understand the way that Castle's mind works. I know he does extensive research on his books, so a lot of this is just getting the details right for the next Nikki Heat. And there's the story. Castle loves to find the story behind the murders we investigate. And, I will admit that he likes me to some extent, although I've made an effort to keep him at arm's length. But aside from that, I'm never going to mean anything to him other than another "guy" he knows when he needs something. No, not Castle."

"Do you want me to find you another date?" Lanie was a little disappointed. She had long felt that Castle's feeling for Kate were deeper than Kate realized or would accept.

"Like Brad "Let's have sex" Decker?" Kate asked with a laugh. "No thanks. No more blind dates. I'll find my own dates from now on, okay?"

Lanie nodded. "Good luck, honey."

Kate nodded. "I have a feeling things are about to change for me."

Castle relaxed in his office, sipping a Scotch. It was kind of cute to see Beckett get jealous over Ellie. Not that she'll ever admit it. It was even funnier to see her reaction when I told her I had another date. She was so convinced I was going out with Ellie and not seeing Alexis. She was so upset. I should have played along and told her it was Ellie. She would have freaked out.

Castle took another sip of Scotch. No. I don't want to do that to Beckett. It would be funny, but Beckett has had a difficult life. I don't want to freak her out too much. But I do enjoy freaking her out every now and again. Beckett really needs to loosen up. She's way too uptight. Okay, she's not as uptight as when we first started working together. She actually smiles now.

He took another sip of Scotch. I have a feeling that things are changing for her.