318. Chapter 318

After Wrapped Up in Death

Episode 2.19

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I'm all wrapped up in Castle, but I don't own it. Rating: K Time: See above.

"Castle, what are you doing?" Kate leaned over her husband's shoulder to see what he was typing on his laptop. "Are you writing another story on that old case?"

"Yes. You know that I occasionally go over our old cases for ideas. Is that a problem?"

"I remember Mayan Heat which you wrote based, very loosely, on the murder of Will Medina, the archeologist. You got cursed as I remember."

"I thought you didn't believe in curses." Castle smirked.

"The curse would have come into play if you had published Mayan Heat. You made Nikki look like an empty headed bimbo."

"This is entirely different. Take a look."

Jameson Rook and the Temple of Light

By

Richard Castle

Professor Jameson Rook, ruggedly handsome archeology professor, dismissed his class a bit early to talk to the man who had slipped quietly into the back of his classroom.

"Colonel Donovan, what can I do for you?"

"Rookie, President Roosevelt asked me to come see you. Are you familiar with the letter that Professor Einstein recently wrote to the President? It concerns the use of the element uranium as a source of power."

Rook nodded. "I'm an archeologist and not a physicist, but I'm not unaware of work by Einstein, Szilard and the rest. How are the experiments at the University of Chicago going, by the way?"

Donovan's jaw dropped in shock. "My God, man! How do you know about that?"

"Oh, I can put the pieces of a puzzle together as well as some, I think." Rook said modestly.

"Einstein said you were the only one who'd understand the gravity of the situation. He was right."

"Al is a real charmer." Rook said, nodding happily at his memories of his chats with Professor Einstein.

"Rookie, the President needs you to go to Tibet and find the lost, and often thought to be mythical, Temple of Light. It holds the secret to this new form of energy."

"It's not mythical, Bill. I almost got there on my expedition back in '32. But there was an avalanche and I had to carry seventeen injured Sherpas and two yaks to safety. This time I'll find it. Tell President Roosevelt not to worry, Jameson Rook has never let the US down and he never will."

As Rook stood there, planning his expedition, he became aware that one of his students was standing in front of him. He looked down at her. She was skinny and flat chested, with a large, flabby behind. She wore Coke bottle lensed glasses through which he could see she…definitely had eyes of some sort. Behind her braces, she did have a smile of sorts. "Yes, Miss…." What was her name?

"Nicole Heat, sir. Could I go with you to Tibet? I couldn't help overhearing."

"Skinny, flat chested and with a large flabby ass? Are you trying to spend the next year celibate?" Kate said through clenched teeth.

"After the way you bitched about Nikki being such a bimbo in Mayan Heat, I thought I'd better not make that mistake again."

"So you made a dumber mistake?" Kate said coldly.

He handed her the laptop. "Care to try to do better?"

Tibetan Heat

By

Katherine Castle

Professor Nikki Heat dismissed her archeology class early so that she could speak to the man who had slipped into the back of her classroom.

"Colonel Donovan." She said, smiling. "How can I help President Roosevelt today?"

Donovan shook his head in wonder. Such beauty and intelligence all in one person. He paused to admire her long, trim legs, her narrow waist and the swell of her breasts before gazing in awe at her classically beautiful face. "How did you know that Roosevelt sent me?"

"Who else would he send if he needed me?" Nikki said coyly.

"Then, I'll get right to business. Are you aware of the letter Professor Einstein sent recently to President Roosevelt?"

"Certainly. Albert asked me to proof read it. He's such a dear. I gave the people at the new atomic pile at the University of Chicago a bit of help as well. I think they should be well on their way to a controlled chain reaction soon."

"Then you know about the possibilities of using uranium as a new source of power then."

"Of course. Is there a problem in Chicago? I'll be happy to help."

"No, not in Chicago. In Tibet."

"Ah?" Nikki said, understanding now. "The Temple of Light. I tried to explore it for my senior paper at Vassar, but I had to settle a dispute between the Dalai Lama and the Panchen Lama on an obscure point of Buddhist theology. By the time I settled the matter, I had to get back to school. I can leave at once, of course."

"Nikki, there's a problem."

Nikki's lovely brow furrowed. "What?"

"Some of the people in the administration are uncomfortable with having a woman lead an expedition on which the survival of the democracies hinges. They want a man to go with you."

Nikki sighed. It was so hard being brilliant and gorgeous and finding men only wanted your body. Perfect though her body was. "All right then. There are several men of my acquaintance who won't get in the way too badly."

"I'm afraid the decision has been made. It's Rook."

"Mad Dog Rook, the pornographer?" Nikki asked shocked.

"Jameson Rook's early works were a bit…unconventional, but the courts ruled in his favor, eventually. He's done some sterling work for the National Geographic."

"All involving bare breasted women." Nikki said under her breath.

They were interrupted by a crash from the next room.

"I think that's him now." Donovan said.

They found Rook on top of a 12th Dynasty mummy, obviously drunk. "You're gorgeous, you know." He slurred into the mummy's ear.

"Kate! You can't possibly serious. Pornography? Drunk and making out with a mummy?"

"The mummy was at least as smart as your first wife." Kate shot back.

"Okay, but while drunk?"

"Your turn." Kate said, handing over the laptop.

Jameson Rook and the Temple of Light

By

Richard Castle

Having single handedly flown the Ford Tri-Motor over the Himalayas, Rook landed the plane on a field no larger than most front lawns.

"That was magnificent, Professor Rook." Nicole Heat gushed, suddenly having feelings, both physical and emotional, that she had never experienced before.

"I actually got here seven seconds after my planned arrival time." Rook said. "In my line of work, seconds can be the difference between life and death."

"You are so right, Professor Rook." Said another mocking, Teutonic voice.

Rook whirled, reaching for his customized M 1911A1 Colt. Too late. His nemesis was holding Nicole Heat in front of him. A dozen SS men covered Rook with submachine guns. "So, we meet again, von Josh."

"That's Oberst Herr Professor Doktor von Josh to you, buster."

"Take your hands off of me." Nicole said, her voice quavering with fear.

"I like where my hands are, Fraulein Heat. And soon you will like where they are as well."

"Never!" Nicole said bravely. "My heart belongs to Professor Jameson Rook."

Rook decided that once he'd found the Temple, he'd have to take Nicole to lunch, and kiss her after lunch. On the cheek. Briefly. Very briefly.

"Herr von Demming." Said von Josh. "Front and center."

A large SS man stepped out from the group and promptly fell on his face. Someone had tied his bootlaces together. The other SS men sniggered.

"How did that happen?" Von Demming wondered, not for the first time.

Arising, von Demming crashed to attention and saluted…Jameson Rook.

"Over here, you dummkopf!" Bellowed von Josh. "Can't you do anything right?"

Embarrassed, von Demming saluted von Josh. "Jawohl, Herr Oberst Professor…Professor…." Von Demming was unable to remember all of von Josh's titles.

Von Josh shook his head. "Von Demming! Just kill the girl."

Von Demming smiled sadistically. "With pleasure, Herr Oberst….Um….Uh…"

"Just do it!" Screamed von Josh.

Before von Demming could move, the stillness of the Tibetan plateau was shattered by the roar of Rook's .45. When it was over, everyone but Rook and Heat were dead. Rook noticed two things. Von Demming had died when Nicole had kicked him in the crotch, sending a certain part of his anatomy up and out through the top of his head. Secondly, Nicole now had a magnificent ass.

She noticed his admiring glance. "I've been doing special exercises to strengthen and shape my….Um…behind." Nicole said shyly.

"So your ego has definitely expanded to infinity?" Kate asked.

"Rook is a man of action. Like Rambo, James Bond, The Transporter, Casey Ryback, El Mariachi, Machete, Dirty Harry, Bullitt, anyone Ahnold ever played, and all of the other super heroes. After all, there's a reason there are more male action heroes than female."

"Yeah, excess testosterone." Kate muttered, grabbing the laptop.

Tibetan Heat

By

Katherine Castle

Nikki Heat gently set the giant dirigible down on the Tibetan plateau exactly where and when she had planned. She jumped to the ground with the grace of a prima ballerina, which she had been.

Jameson Rook tumbled out of the dirigible landing face first in the snow. He leapt up spluttering. "That was the worst flight I've ever been on. I was airsick the whole time. You're a horrible pilot, Heat."

"I'm an excellent pilot. You were drunk the whole flight and you tried to make love to one of the life preservers. You only sobered up when you fell and landed face first in the snoo."

Rook looked around him. "Snoo! What's snoo?"

Nikki grinned. "Not much. What's snoo with you?"

"Very amusing, Professor Heat. But I'm afraid I cannot allow you to reach the Temple of Light before I do."

Nikki whirled, preparing to unleash an attack using one of the hundreds of martial arts she had mastered. Too late! Rook was now held captive.

"We meet again, Meredith de Bubes. I'm afraid you'll have no better luck this time than you have in the past when we've matched wits."

Meredith glared at Nikki. "But I have help this time." She nodded to a tall blonde. "May I introduce Gina Va Gina." She then pointed to a woman on the other side of her. "And Ellie Bangs." Meredith smiled evilly. "And I have two more friends. " Two huge women stepped up. "May I introduce you to Tomasina and Joshica."

Nikki could hardly look at them, they were so ugly. But look she did, using her magnificent brain to determine the women's weak points. Nikki smiled coldly. "I see these "women" haven't had the operation yet, as you three have."

"A small matter." Meredith said, quite truthfully. "But when we have disposed of you, we will gain the power we need to conquer the world for the Society for the Liberation of the Untold Toilers and Slaves. Then we will build a worker's paradise, once we've executed the 99.9 percent of humanity who are the exploiters."

"It's a shame your organization's acronym is SLUTS." Nikki said.

Meredith paled in fury. "Kill the man." She snarled.

Tomasina and Joshica put their hands down the front of Rook's pants.

"Please." Rook squealed. "Be gentle. I'm a virgin."

The SLUTS laughed. That was all the distraction that Nikki needed. She launched herself, a lethal weapon in herself, and soon the evil ones lay dead at her feet. She picked up Rook, who had fainted, and began the long trek to the Temple of Light.

"That's really…awful. Dreadful, in fact. It may be the worst thing you ever wrote." Rick said.

"It's not up to my usual high standards." Kate conceded. "Maybe I should try something else." She smiled. "Perhaps we can find some inspiration in bed." Kate suggested in a low, sultry voice.

"Where better than with my beautiful and brainy wife."

"You forgot to mention your literary genius wife."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really." Castle agreed.

They headed for the bedroom.