310. Chapter 310

After The Fifth Bullet

Episode 2.11

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I've forgotten. Do I own Castle? I thought not. Rating: K Time: See above

"…I hope they make it." Castle said.

Beckett looked at him and smiled slightly. "You surprise me, Castle."

He looked surprised. "You're surprised I'd like someone to be happy? Why?"

"Not that you want someone to be happy, Castle. That you want them to get back together. To be together for a long time. Remarry even."

Castle shook his head. "I still don't get it. Jeremy and Emma are nice people. They seem to be getting along. Why shouldn't they get married? Did I miss something?"

It was Kate's turn to shake her head. "It's just that with your track record, I'm surprised to see you coming out in favor of marriage."

"My track record?" Castle had a very good idea where this was going, but wanted Beckett to tell him exactly what she meant.

"Duh! You've been divorced twice. Remember?"

"Being divorced twice means I've been married twice. Even I wouldn't get married with the intention of getting divorced. Both times when I got married, I assumed that I'd be with my wife for the rest of my life." Castle got a faraway look in his eyes. "I married Meredith because she was so much like me. Fun loving, unconventional, happy-go-lucky, free spirited, not ruggedly handsome, of course, but very attractive."

"And you get the best sex from crazy people." Beckett added for him.

Castle narrowed his eyes, but went on. "Okay, the sex was great as well. But I really thought we were perfectly matched. Two peas in a pod, so to speak. Yin and Yang. Gemini, the twins."

"But it didn't work out."

Castle shook his head. "I found out that she didn't limit her love of fun to her husband. I came home unexpectedly one day and found her in bed with her director, I think it was. She actually seemed to think I was over reacting by getting mad. I've always wondered if the director was the only one. But, I decided I didn't really want to know." Castle thought for a second. "She actually filed for divorce before I did."

Kate was sorry she had brought the subject up. "Castle, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

Castle didn't seem to mind at all. "No problem. It's not like it was ever a big secret. And Meredith did do something for me that I will be eternally grateful for. She gave me Alexis. She gave me Alexis in more ways than one. She didn't really want Alexis. I got full custody, and I couldn't be happier about that."

Kate was happy to be able to change the subject. "Alexis is a great kid. The best."

Castle smiled and nodded. "I wonder how that happened myself." Then Castle resumed his discussion of his marriages. "Gina was also a mistake. I didn't realize that at the time, of course. Again, I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with Gina. And with Gina, I was at least partly to blame."

Kate had mixed emotions about this conversation. As interesting as it was to hear about Castle's marriages from his point of view, she knew she didn't want to reciprocate. But, she said nothing.

"It was Alexis. I had been her sole parent for so long by the time I married Gina, I just couldn't change my ways. I didn't let Gina be a step-mother to Alexis. I was always pushing Gina out of the way to do things my way with Alexis. Naturally, Gina resented it. But, I don't think it would have worked out even if Gina had had the best possible relationship with Alexis. What attracted me to Gina was that we were opposites. Opposites attract, or so they say. In our case, we repelled. And we fought. And we divorced."

Castle stared off into space for another long moment. "So, you see, I have nothing against marriage, I just suck at picking the right partner. Which makes me gun shy."

"I'm sorry, Castle. Like I said. I didn't mean to pry."

"You didn't pry, Beckett. My life is an open book, so to speak. What about you? I know you've never been married. Ever been engaged? At least think about it with someone."

Kate did not want to answer that question. Not now, and perhaps not ever. "No, never engaged and there was never anyone…Except my job. I'm married to my job, I suppose."

"By your logic, then, you should be the one who wouldn't want Jeremy and Emma to get together."

Castle saw that he hurt Beckett as soon as the words were out of his mouth. "Beckett, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know why you're married to your job. Your mom. I am sorry. Truly sorry."

Beckett waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, Castle. My life is pretty much an open book, too. Except where you're concerned. She thought. "Until I was nineteen, I wanted the whole thing. A husband, family, children and a career. The whole thing. It all changed in the blink of an eye. I'll probably never get that, but I'm happy with my life. Although I could be happier.

Castle shook his head and smiled. "You forget, you are extraordinary, Beckett. You can have anything you set your mind to."

It was Beckett's turn to shake her head. "Yeah. Sure." She said sarcastically.

Much, much, much later.

"How are you?"

"I feel like the Goodyear blimp."

"You're gorgeous. You're perfect."

The hormones made Kate start to cry. "I'm not gorgeous and I'm not perfect. I'm huge and I'm not ready for this. I don't know how to do this, Rick and I'm scared."

Rick reached out to stroke his wife's distended stomach. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and you've never been more beautiful than you are right now. And you'll be a great mom. The best."

Kate shook her head violently. "I have no idea how to be a mom. Every book I read just confuses me more." Kate began to sob and Rick put his arms around her and held her close. "And I worry that because Alexis is so perfect, that something will go wrong and we'll screw up our kid, and I hate to think of that. I just…I just…" Kate couldn't go on.

"You'll have me to help you, and Alexis, and my mom and your dad, and you'll have your mother."

"My mother?" Kate looked questioningly at Rick.

"You remember a million things about what she was like. She was the most important person in your life and you learned so much from her. Just ask yourself, "What would mom do?" and you'll be fine."

"You're sure?" Kate was starting to feel better.

"Absolutely. You're going to get the Nobel Prize for Moms, I know it."

"There's no Nobel Prize…." Before she could finish the sentence, she started to laugh.

"I've been in touch with the committee in Stockholm. I know a guy everywhere, remember?"

Kate hugged her husband and then kissed him. "I love you, Mr. Castle."

"And I love you, Mrs. Castle. Now, you know what we should do?"

She frowned slightly and shook her head. "What?"

"Have some ice cream. Cherry Garcia? Karamel Sutra? Coffee Caramel Buzz?"

"Coffee Caramel Buzz? Sounds good." Kate started to lever herself up off the bed.

"I'll get it for you."

Kate watched her husband run off to the kitchen to get her some ice cream. And to think that I once looked that man right in the face and told him I'd never have all of this. What was I thinking of?