309. Chapter 309

After One Man's Treasure

Episode 2.10

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I do not own the treasure that is Castle. Rating: K Time: See above,

Why did I say that? Rick Castle thought, sitting at his desk, sipping his Scotch. "Two wives too many." That's exactly what I said to Beckett. And she said that the common denominator in that equation was me. That's not really right, though. You don't get married with the intention of getting divorced. I married Meredith and Gina because, for some reason, I was in love with them. What's the saying? Remarriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

"You're looking fairly glum, kiddo. And you're not writing. Writer's block? Problems with Nikki Heat?" Martha walked into his office and perched on the edge of his desk.

"No, the Nikki Heat on the printed page is doing just fine. She's going from strength to strength. Eventually, all of her dreams will come true."

Martha raised a wine glass in silent toast. "To our dreams coming true. All of them. So, which of your dreams needs a swift boot in the behind?"

"I can't decide where I stand with Beckett. And worse, I can't decide where I want to stand with her. It is a puzzlement."

"Thank you, King Mongkut." Martha replied. "And I can see half of your problem. From what you've told me, Kate Beckett doesn't let anyone get close to her. Her mother's death, I would imagine. Excuse me, but I'm not sure I see why you're having a problem deciding where you want to be with her? Beckett is a beautiful woman, smart, knowledgeable, compassionate, and enough of a challenge to get you to get out of your non-writing funk and follow her around for months now. I'd say you already know where you want to stand with her. You want to stand with her."

Castle shrugged. "Yeah, except for the death threats, we're doing fine."

"Oh, come on, Richard. She hasn't threatened you for months. So she was a bit upset when you went behind her back to get to work with her. She'd have been okay with it if you'd asked her first."

"She'd have never let me shadow her if I'd asked her first. If I had and then went to Bob Weldon for help, she really would have shot me."

"But she accepts you now. She's said you're a help on her cases, hasn't she?"

"Accepting me is not exactly what I had in mind. Beckett is a fascinating women. More so than anyone I've ever been with. Way more fascinating than Meredith."

"Anything vaguely shiny is more fascinating than Meredith." Martha said coldly.

"Or Gina. "Castle continued.

"Ditto."

"Or even Kyra."

"I do wish you had stayed with Kyra." Martha said softly. "So, if Beckett is so fascinating, why not do something about it? Ask the girl out, Richard. It's not like you're totally unfamiliar with concept."

"This is different. Beckett already thinks that I want to sleep with her…"

"Quite perceptive of her." Martha interrupted. "You do, don't you?"

"Of course, but I want more than sex. Sometimes when I'm with Beckett I think that we'd be good together, and not just in bed. And then I think that if I tried for more, she'd really kick me to the curb. I don't want to lose what we have: The partnership, the somewhat unusual friendship, and the background for Nikki Heat."

Castle sighed and looked out the window at Manhattan. "I lack the courage to risk what I have now on the chance that something better would come of it."

"I have noticed you haven't dated since you met Beckett."

"I've noticed that. Beckett hasn't."

"You have it bad, kiddo." Martha said seriously.

"I'm starting to think I do."

Why did he say that? Kate Beckett thought, sitting at her desk, trying to write a report, but failing. This is the oddest relationship I've ever been in. Castle is my partner. Okay, so are Ryan and Esposito. A lot of people have been my partner since I became a cop. But this is different. And Castle is my friend, sort of. I don't have any other friends that infuriate me the way that he does. Sure, some of them aggravate me, but nothing like Castle does. Castle wants to sleep with me. Or does he? He still makes the occasional remark laced with sexual innuendo, but not so much anymore. Has he given up on getting me into bed? It's not like Castle is so desperate that he has no one else to go after. I've seen the way women offer their boobs for him to sign and I'm sure he cops a feel each time. He probably has decided I'm not worth the effort and is just here to write his books and maybe he gets some excitement in his life from following me around. That's probably it. Castle has money, good looks, fame, so things come easy to him. Having women eager to go to bed with you must get boring, so he looks for a different kind of excitement that he can't get elsewhere, solving real murder mysteries. Hmm! Now that I think of it, that's a good reason for him to keep going after me. The thrill of the chase. I'm exciting to him precisely because I don't want to sleep with him.

Kate laughed to herself. Or is that my ego talking. I don't want to believe that Castle doesn't want to sleep with me, so I make up a reason for him to want to. But I don't think he's been dating. I do read his website, I am a fan. Not of the man himself so much, but of his work. Previously, Castle would post pictures of himself with some model or starlet or some gorgeous babe, and he'd have a huge, "I'm so going to get laid." smile on his face. I haven't seen one of those photos in months. What does that mean? If anything?

"Are you still here, Sweetie?" Lanie interrupted.

Kate nodded. "I'm still going over the Parker murder report."

Lanie shook her head. "You spend entirely too much time here, Kate. Way too much time."

Speaking of friends that aggravate me…Here it comes. "It's my job, Lanie. You know why I do this and why I want to do it right."

"But you don't have to do it twenty four/ seven, do you? You could have some fun."

"I do have fun."

"Especially since Castle showed up. Do you know I've actually seen you smile on occasion?"

"It's not like I've never smiled before." Kate said sharply.

"You couldn't prove it by me."

Kate took a deep breath. "Lanie, I appreciate your concern for me, but Castle isn't what I'm looking for and I'm not what he's looking for. It would be nice if he were Prince Charming, but he's really a frog."

"Perhaps you should try kissing him."

"I walked right into that, didn't I?"

Lanie checked her watch. "You sure you don't want to go with me for a little fun?"

"I have work to do. You have a good time."

Lanie got up to leave. "Okay, but you don't know what you're missing."

Kate watched Lanie walk to the elevator and leave. "The problem is I do know what I'm missing." Kate said in a whisper. I see it every day. People with boyfriends, lovers, husbands, families, children. All the things I don't have and will probably never have. And it hurts, sometimes, but I do what I have to do.

Kate looked over at Castle's chair. I feel like I'm with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or one of those people with multiple personalities. Castle can be such a pest. So undisciplined, so childish, so egotistical, and then I see Alexis. She's completely different: Organized, helpful, concerned, willing, so ready to do as she's told. And Castle raised her to be like that. Oh, I know he says she raised herself, but no child does that. Why isn't he more like Alexis? Why….

Kate stopped and shook her head to clear it. I can ask why forever, and I'll never understand Castle. Why try? She looked at the photo of Sam Parker. "So, Mr. Parker, it looks like I'll be your date tonight."

Kate went back to typing.