35. Explosions

Morning came as I laid in Kakuzu's bed still huddled on his toned chest, I could hear him breathing and with every inhalation, my face would rise slightly then drop again against the pattern of his breathing. I'd been awake for about ten minutes but I still felt hazy and tired.

The fight I'd had with Deidara was still hot on my mind and I wanted to make amends with him as soon as possible, I didn't want him to misunderstand the situation. I knew that it was only because I could talk to Itachi about certain things, if I'd talked to Deidara about it he may not have really understood as Itachi did.

I let out a short raspy breath, my stomach dropping an inkling but to my surprise, I felt a warm but rough hand rub against my back and I realised that Kakuzu must finally be awake. Before I can say anything the bedroom door is being hardly slung open and Hidan casually walks in.

"Kakuzu! Get the fuck- " Hidan's enthusiastic shout stopped mid-sentence and his mouth fell open.

"TILA! What the fuck are you doing in here?!" He shouted in astonishment as he walked over to the side of the bed and looked at us both wide-eyed.

"I couldn't sleep last night so I came in here" I explained, still hazy as anything. I quickly sat up rubbing my eyes then watched as Kakuzu groaned in annoyance and slowly got up too.

"Your such a pain, does your mouth ever shut up," he said harshly. Hidan didn't say anything, he just looked back over to me and shut his mouth.

Hidan and I watched Kakuzu walk over to his bathroom and close the door behind him.

"So another bounty?" I asked, he looked back at me from the bathroom door where Kakuzu had disappeared into.

"Yeah, can't really be fucked but the sooner we get it done the better,"

I nodded as I stood up and brushed myself off, my pyjama pants were wrinkly from sleeping huddled up next to Kakuzu.

"Hmm." I sighed, "have fun then. I have things to do. Have to get going." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into an awkward hug. Hidan smiled cheekily then returned the gesture, I was shorter than him so my head rested just beneath his neck for a moment before he let me go again.

"Stay the fuck out of trouble while we're gone" Hidan jokingly scolded.

"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes. Like he could talk.

With a quick knock on the bathroom door, I yelled thanks to Kakuzu for the headband one more time before leaving his room. Then, made my way back to my room. My head still felt so clouded as I slowly trudged down the narrow corridor. Finally, I made it back to my room and had a shower then got dressed and decided to get something to eat.

As I walked into the kitchen Konan put down a plate of food for Tobi. I sat down beside Tobi and gave him and Konan a small smile.

"Would you like some too, Tila? I have plenty leftover" she offered.

"Yes please,"

Tobi picked up his plate and turned away from Konan and me, I watched as he lifted his mask and then tilted the plate so that everything on it fell into his mouth.

"What are you doing Tobi?!" I mumbled in shock as he turned back around and put the plate down, the mask now covering his face again.

"Mmggmggm" Tobi replied.

I couldn't understand a word he was saying with his mouth full of food.

Oh dear, Tobi is so strange sometimes...

Konan put down a plate for me, I thanked her and started to cut into a piece of toast then popped it into my mouth. Delicious.

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Konan and Tobi had already left by the time I had finished off and cleaned up. I couldn't stop thinking about Deidara, I wanted to go and talk to him now but...

Leader was supposed to summon me to reanimate Madara sometime today. So, I decided to go back to my room and wait for him to call me.

I could always see Deidara straight afterwards so I made my way back to my room only to find him already sitting on my bed waiting for me.

Dei looked up at me as I closed the door slowly behind me.

"Can we talk? Un"

I sat down beside him then pulled him into a tight hug, Deidara mustn't have been expecting it because he was stiff at first but quickly relaxed and wrapped his arms around me.

I slowly pulled away then was met by his entrancing icy irises.

"I wanted to explain to you last night but I was just so exhausted Dei,"

He tucked a strand of loose hair behind his ear as his features softened.

"I know yeah? I lost my temper when I shouldn't have, hm."

I broke the gaze from his warm blue eyes and looked around my bedroom, trying to find the words to explain about Itachi but I felt Deidara's arm wrap around my back and pull me into him. I took a short breath in and closed my eyes as he started to kiss me gently, his tongue slowly slipped between my lips, sending light ripples of pleasure through my body. A light tingle waved over my body as he deepened the kiss and started to bite my bottom lip forcefully.

I couldn't stop myself, my lips were craving the taste of his kiss badly. Dei lay down and pulled me on top of him, our lips still hotly interlocked. I cracked open an eye to see that his blonde hair was sprawled across my pillows.

He broke away, giving me a small smirk as he released his grip on my waist so I was now lying on top of him - it's like our eyes were speaking to each other. And if that were truly the case, his eyes had I love you written all over them. His hands gently lift the back of my shirt up and his tounges lightly lick up the centre of my back.

I buried my head into his neck and shivered, the way he touched me gave me feelings I hadn't felt in a long time... Feelings I thought I would never feel again. Dei continued to slowly lift the back of my shirt higher, licking gently as he went. I peeked up at him.

His expression was as if he was really enjoying watching me shudder, as though he'd been waiting for this moment for a long time.

"Dei" I whispered his name, grabbing his attention from the fun he was having.

"Hm?" He smirked cheekily.

"I'm in love with Sasuke."

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The words that were spoken were not my own - I felt an all too familiar presence lurking inside of me. My heart sunk.

A flash of pain shot through his eyes. He push my body off, I fell hard on the floor.

"I'll fucking kill him! HM!"

I try to stop him but I wasn't in control of my body. I try to call after Deidara as he stormed out of my room but, the door slammed behind him.

Where is he's going? A dark voice cooed in my mind.

NO. This can't be happening. What have you done?? I screamed mentally but all my Alter Ego did was give a dark menacing cackle.

I felt my body come back to me so I quickly stood up and ran down the hall after Deidara, by the time I had reached the training room I saw the boulder nearly reach the floor as it closed.

This way,

I ran as fast as I could, slipping under the boulder before it shut. Up high in the clear blue of the sky, Deidara was swiftly flying away on a clay bird.

No, no... Where is he going?!

Panic crept into every crevice as I ran as fast as I could through the forest in pursuit of him. Trying desperately to catch up, but he only seemed to be getting further away. My heart was sinks and my legs become weak, a lump of guilt sits tights in my throat- weighing me down as I run after him. I need to explain to him.

Just before he disappeared out of sight I finally saw Deidara land in the distance. He isn't that far, I can make it.

I picked up the pace as fast as I could go. The forest blurred as I kept going, deeper and deeper into the trees. Deidara's voice was in the distance so I veered off to the right in the direction it was coming from.

As I finally burst through a huddle of trees I stopped and my beating heart fell to the floor.

Deidara was kneeling on the ground laughing hysterically in a frightening way. He caught sight of me only metres from him, his expression changed instantly.

"TILA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE. RUN!" He shouted angrily. But, the shocking sight of his body becoming transparent and the black veins in his body beginning to take over kept my feet planted on the spot.

"DEIDARA" I shrieked, finding my footing, I ran towards him in desperation. But, his body started to expand.

"Come on Tila-Chan, Tobi needs to get you out of here!" A familiar childish voice squeal from behind me. I felt two arms wrap around my waist and drag me back along with my vision starting to become swirly.

Deidara

I'm so sorry

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I tasted salty tears running down my quivering lips. The training room swirled back into vision - Two hands still around my waist, holding me up for dear life.

Itachi's figure ran up towards me, Every inch of my body trembled as though I'd seen a ghost. I closed my eyes tight - I saw Deidara's body falling from the sky in pieces.

No matter how hard I try to breathe, I can't. Gasps, choked sobs leave me desperately. This can't be real. I felt myself being carried, someone was holding me tight. I didn't want to open my eyes. The sound of my cries was filled with nothing but pure pain.

I'd been laid down gently, when I slowly cracked open my eyes all I could see was a bright dangerous Sharingan.

Itachi.

I didn't want this to be real.

Not again.

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All went silent.

My knees hit something soft and cold, I slowly opened up my sore eyes.

I was kneeling in a field of white lilies, lightly blanketed by soft snow, the chilling wind gently blew, whisking my long blonde hair with the rhythm of the breeze.

A shiver ran through my bones. The chill was unlike any other.

I notice the long silky white dress I'm wearing.

Where am I?

My heart pounds deep in my chest.

Can you hear me now...?

I slowly stood up, the icy breeze whisps my hair and dress in an irregular pattern.

It's as if the wind was unsure of what it wanted.

A light weight bared down on my shoulder causing me to pause for a moment in anticipation.

As I slowly turn Itachi's long dark hair tousled carelessly in the breeze, his hypnotic, yet, mysterious red eyes connect with my own. His soft lips as if in a daze as he spoke.

"I can hear your beating heart, Tila"

I gulped down my brimming tears and found the courage of my own voice again.

"You hear my heart.. what is it saying?" I'm shaking, my voice on the verge of breaking, eyes searching his intricate gaze.

Vulnerability takes over as I wait for his answer.

"It's okay to be afraid but... Things will never be the same." As he softly spoke the last of his words my body let go of the weighted feeling inside.

Pain, anguish, confusion filled every crevice of my body. The emotions overpowering me.

"Itachi" Helpless sobs escape me.

"Please, Make it go away," I whispered, pleaded. Desperately trying to see clearly through my welling tearful eyes. My knees gave in from the weight of my heavy burden of emotions and I fell down to my knees, the soft snow-covered lilies being crushed beneath them.

I tell myself I'll be strong.

Suddenly, Itachi pulls me into his arms, huddled close to his chest. Wrapping me inside his cloak for warmth and protection from the cold.

All was dark, silent tears ran down my cheeks.

I clung to the warmth and shut my eyes tight like it was the last salvation in the world.

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When I slowly open my eyes up I son realise it must have all been a dream.