41. Pajama Game

X~~~X

They both froze, staring first at each other and then towards the stairs, hoping against all hopes that if they kept very quiet Jamie would just fall asleep again. But of course she didn't and when the second cry echoed through the loft, followed by a tearful, "Mommy!" they were both up dashing towards the stairs.

"You know," Castle panted out between taking two steps at a time and tucking his shirt back into his jeans, "we are so gonna take my mother up on that babysitting offer."

Kate shot him a look that clearly told him to shut up, while she hastily re-buttoned her shirt as they stumbled into Jamie's room together. Their daughter's face was already red from crying, tears staining her cheeks as she tried to stumble out of bed and into her mother's arms.

"Mommy, Mommy," she cried, heavy sobs shaking her small body and Kate could do nothing more than to pull her close and mumble soothing words into her ear. She felt Castle sit down next to them, crowding, as one of his hands stroked Jamie's head, while the other drew soothing circles on Kate's back. If only he knew how much it helped.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Castle's calm voice washed over them and immediately seemed to soothe Jamie.

They could see her little head bop up and down and though the tears kept falling, her sobs at least seemed to ease.

"Was it about the bad men?" Kate gently prodded and again Jamie nodded.

Kate felt Castle shift even closer, his thigh pressing against hers as his fingers were now dancing over Jamie's cheeks, brushing the tears away, "Hey Baby Bird, what did I tell you about the bad men?" He asked softly.

Jamie took in a shuddering breath and then lifted her eyes to look at her dad, "Daddy protect us," she stuttered, surprising both her parents with the certainty that laced her words, the memory of her father's promise enough to finally make her stop crying.

Castle nodded, "That's right, Daddy will protect you," he confirmed and leant down to kiss her on top of the head.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep now?" Kate asked gently, leaning back so she could look at her daughter, but the girl furiously shook her head.

"Stay with Mommy," Jamie exclaimed, throwing her arms back around her mother's neck and Kate could tell her daughter was about to start crying again.

"It's alright, I'll stay with you tonight," Kate reassured her, shooting Castle an apologetic look, knowing they had both hoped for some one-on-one time tonight, but Castle just smiled at her knowing that these were the small pleasures of being a parent.

"Why don't you take her to the guestroom?" he suggested, "It's more comfortable for you than squeezing into her tiny bed."

"Okay," Kate agreed, standing up, with Jamie clinging to her chest, but when she tried to step into the hallway and turn to her left to Castle's guestroom Jamie started snivelling again.

"Daddy too," she stated, reaching her hand out to tug on Castle's arm.

"You want both of us to stay with you?" Kate frowned and received a fierce nod in return.

She looked at Castle for help, but he just shrugged. Really, what could they do? They didn't have much of a choice if they wanted to get some sleep tonight and of course he didn't mind spending another night in the same bed as Kate, even if it was just sleeping.

"Okay, my bedroom it is." He simply stated and Kate shot him a pointed look, "What? My bed is bigger."

With that he turned toward the stairs, but stopped in front of Alexis' room to quickly peek inside and check on her, but his daughter was still fast asleep, seemingly unbothered by her sister's nightmare. Closing the door quietly he followed Kate and Jamie down the stairs.

They spent some time with Jamie on the couch to distract the girl from her nightmare until she started yawning and fell asleep in Castle's arms.

"Why don't you go and change first," Castle suggested, "I'll hand her over once you're in bed." And even though he tried hard, he couldn't hide the smirk appearing on his face when he thought about Kate in his bed.

"If I didn't know any better Rick Castle, I'd say you conspired with our daughter to get me back into your bed," she told him, shooting him a calculating look.

"Katherine Beckett, I'd never," he looked at her with mocked shock, the hand not holding Jamie securely in his lap, flying up to cover his heart. "Believe me if I had plotted any of this I would have made sure it would be just you and me in that bed."

He grinned and she rolled her eyes, before starting for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" He asked, irritated. "My bathroom is that way," he pointed toward his bedroom.

"But my stuff is," Kate's finger pointed toward the ceiling, "up there."

"Oh, right," the look on his face was so adorable that Kate couldn't help herself but turn back and give him a quick kiss.

"You have to behave yourself tonight," he muttered against her lips.

"Shut up," she growled back and turned for the stairs.

Half an hour later they were all tucked in, Jamie sleeping soundly between them as Castle reached for the lamp on his nightstand to turn off the light.

"You good?" He asked glancing over to Kate who was lying on her side, facing him.

"Yeah," she nodded and then shot him a grin, "though I'm sure the evening didn't turn out exactly the way you planned it."

Castle turned to look at her, leaving the bedside lamp untouched for the moment, "I didn't plan anything. I'm just happy to have you all here."

Kate sighed, why did he always knew exactly what to say, how to give her words that sent butterflies all throughout her body, making her tingle with anticipation and need. She was just reaching out for him, mindful not to disturb their sleeping daughter, when there was a knock on his open bedroom door.

"Daddy?" Alexis' small voice sounded through the room.

"Alexis?" Castle sat up, waving her over, "What's wrong?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Alexis looked from one adult to the other, apparently unfazed by Kate's presence in her father's bed.

"Of course," Kate agreed easily and already moving over before Castle could even open his mouth, there was no way she was telling Alexis no when Jamie was already snuggled up between them.

"Come here Pumpkin," Castle gathered her up, helping her crawl over him and settle down next to her sister.

"You okay, Alexis?" Kate asked stroking her fingers through the girl's red hair.

"Yeah, I just don't want to be alone upstairs," she replied shyly, looking at Kate with those big blue eyes.

"That's alright," Kate reassured her, "we're all staying here tonight."

Hearing Kate's words Alexis relaxed, snuggling up with her father, before closing her eyes and falling back to sleep quickly.

When Kate looked up she found Castle's eyes directed at her, unbelieving and full of wonder while his lips turned up into a soft curl.

"What?" She frowned, not understanding the look in his eyes.

"You're wonderful," he blurted out and was starting to lean over when Alexis kicked him in her sleep.

He winced, putting his fist into his mouth and biting down to keep himself from cursing out loud before he gritted through clenched teeth, "We're so doomed. No more kissing, no more touching."

Kate chuckled, not taking her eyes off of him when she said, "We didn't even really got started Castle."

"Seriously, this is the best birth control you can get," he muttered, gesturing at the two small bodies wedged in between them and then froze. He had gotten her pregnant on the first and only night they had spent intimately together so far. So why on earth was he making jokes about birth control right now? When she didn't say anything he chanced a glance in her direction, preparing himself for the worst. Her body was shaking when his eyes found her and for a second he thought she might be crying but then the laugh she was trying to suppress escaped her mouth, only stifled by the hand she pressed against her mouth.

"Don't worry, Castle. I have it covered," she finally got out while still trying to catch her breath until she started laughing again and Castle suddenly feared she was having some sort of breakdown.

"Kate?" he asked tentatively, while she was pressing her face into the pillow so as not to wake their daughters.

She looked at him, sobering quickly before she spoke, "You know, I thought I had it covered the first time." Suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore.

He sighed, understanding where her mind had went, "Yeah, me too."

For a moment they were both silent, lost in the memories of their first night together. Could she really laugh about what had happened? Or was she merely trying to cover her real emotions because she didn't want him to know how she really felt about it.

"Do you regret it?" He asked quietly, staring straight ahead, unsure if he could take the look in her eyes if her answer was not what he wanted it to be.

"Jamie?" She questioned to buy time, because she knew exactly what he wanted to know.

Castle knew too, but he nodded nevertheless.

"Never," she spoke softly. "I wished it had happened under different circumstances but I don't know where I would be without her Castle. I was in a very dark place back then and with Jamie the light came back. I don't know if I could have made it without her, if I would be where I am now."

His hand reached for hers over the sleeping forms of their daughters, trying to comfort her and she took it gratefully, cradling it between her palms and letting her thumb draw circles on the back of it.

"When we first met," she continued, all of a sudden wanting to tell him everything, "There was only one thing that mattered. I wanted to get the bastard who murdered my mom, nothing else. Nothing else was important, nothing else mattered not even myself."

"Kate," he chocked out, remembering all too well how he had found her in that bar, the way she had looked, the sadness in her eyes. He had known right from the start that there had been a story behind those beautiful eyes.

"All that mattered was getting into the Police Academy and making Detective as fast as I could," she sighed, "and then I found out about Jamie and everything changed. I had to set my priorities straight, Jamie had to come first and whenever I just even ran close to the risk to work myself into the ground because of a case, because I thought it would get me where I wanted to be, she made me come back from that place, because she needed me. So no, I could never regret having Jamie. She's everything."

He nodded slowly, knowing exactly what she meant, what she felt for her daughter, because he felt the same. There was no greater love than the love for your child, there was nothing you wouldn't do to keep them safe. And the words he knew he couldn't tell her yet, threatened to spill out of him, because in that moment he knew. He knew without a doubt that he was in love with her.

X~~~X