Sense of Belongingness

Who am I? Why am I suffering in this world? What mistake did I commit? This question keeps on going around in my mind since the time I was 5 years old.

People say the world is such a happy place, there are so many ways to enjoy your life.Especially in this modern Era you have pubs, high tech gadgets, restaurants etc etc.You can just roam around the world go to various places like hot tourist spots around the earth like Venice, Switzerland, Phuket.

If you like adventure you can go, South Africa, Brazil, North Korea(a different adventure) and so many more.

But why there seems a blackhole existing in my heart even though its been 20 years but still the question repeat Who am I? Why am I suffering in this world? What mistake did I commit?

The worst part of this feeling is I don't even understand as if I saw from a normal person point of view. I have achieved everything in my life being the youngest CEO of Billion Dollars Company Which controls biggest retail Chain Business around the world, having Miss World as my girlfriend and can buy anything which a person can imagine from helicopter to private Island.

Still, it has become hard to remember when I was genuinely happy in my life as this all seems illusion because of just one second !! ****ing one second will all it takes to go skadoosh. You die and everything is gone. So why the **** I am working so hard. What is going on around me? Am I in an illusion? All these things my company, my beauty, my fame will be snatched from me one day. And that realisation from what I was 5 is not letting me live.

In my childhood, I loved the mangas and xianxia novels where they have concepts like eternity, cultivation system, magic and so much more. I wanted to be strongest in my childhood fight villains and save damsels in distress but when you grow up you realise life is shit and all your hopes are child's dream and you have to enter the shit rat race to survive whether you agree or not.

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