2- Nightmares Aren't Real

"You think this will save you? I hear the prayer you scream out, it makes me stronger; your fear makes me laugh." I close my eyes tightly, hoping for the best. The tears stick to my cheeks, I still keep my eyes shut. I could feel him breathing next to me, he chuckled in my face. Trying to pull my hands from my ears, I wake up. My body Shook, I was covered in sweat. I look around the room and feel relieved. It was just a nightmare, but it felt so real.

"Mom, need some help?" I ask, knowing she was stressing about dad seeing the place. He hasn't seen it yet, his jobs are always out of town. "It's okay sweetie, go relax for the day. I know you take care of the babies while we're away, I thank you." It was like music to my ears, not having to watch over them today. Deep down inside, I still had the urge. I wanted a break, but it was hard to stay away.

Walking up the squeaky steps, I stumble upon a little door on the right side of the wall. Pushing the door open, I squinted my eyes, I couldn't see anything. It was dark, cob webs covering the top of the door, cold winds rush to my face. I pull out my flashlight, shining it directly in the center. A toy? I quickly grab the stuffed animal, and lock the door. A plush moose sits before me, orange antlers, green triangle nose, half missing button eyes, I smile. This blue moose deserved a home, I knew who would take care of it, Nate.

"Nate, come out kiddo." He runs up to me and hugs my legs, I Pat his back. "What is that behind your back?" He points at the arm I had behind my back. "Close your eyes, and hold out your hands." Holding out his hands, he smiles cheek to cheek. I set the moose in his hands, "open up." He hugs the plush animal, whispering into its ear. "thank you sissy, Wally has a friend now!" He runs off into his bedroom.

I giggle and walk to Sophia's room. Sophia looks over at me, she didn't have any expression. "Hi, Nicole." I furrow my eyebrows, "who were you talking to just a second ago?" She shrugs her shoulders, "just my dolls. They looked like they needed some playtime." She giggles at the wall and continues playing. Glancing at the door, I tell her good-bye and back out of her room. She was creeping me out, and I didn't want to see her like that.

Checking in on Dane, he's sitting on his bed playing the guitar. "Hey, what I just saw was odd." He looks at me, "what do you mean, odd?" The door creaks open, Lilly pops her head in. "Dane, help me get my toy off the shelf, please?" Lilly runs down the hall, Dane following her. "Sophia is acting weird."

As Dane comes back, he sits down on the edge of the bed. "I noticed it too, maybe they're just bored?" I shrug my shoulders, "maybe. We can change that though? You thinking what I'm thinking?" Dane nods his head, he clears his throat. "Who's ready to play run and hide?" He yells, footsteps are heard; all of our siblings run into the room.

"Jail is the couch this time, who lost the game last time?" Dane raises his hand, "I'm it."

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT... "

We all take off in different directions, I end up in the laundry room. I sit between the wall and a basket full of laundry. Keeping my breathing under control, I heard Dane. "I'm coming down the front entrance. Who's in the office?" Dane was great at being it. He was good at pretending he didn't see the kids, giving them a fighting chance. Lilly tip toes away from him into the next room, she giggles in the closet.

Nate was nowhere to be found, he must've found the jackpot spot. "Got you!" Sophia screams as Dane brings her to the couch. He smiles, "you will never get away again!" He laughs, lightly tossing her on the couch. "I'll be back," Dane smiled, creeping down the hallway. The lights cut off, it was pitch black. I move myself from in between the basket, and open the door quietly. I take off down the dark hallway, quickly finding the stairs.

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, I creep into the attic. Pulling out my flashlight, the light brightens the whole room; I see someone laying on the floor.

"Nate! Nate! What happened to you?" His head was bleeding, he wasn't moving. "Turn the lights on Dane! Hurry!" The lights turn on, I caress him in my arms and run down the stairs. "Mom, something happened to Nate." She bends down on the floor next to the couch, "looks like he fell off something high." She brushes the hair from his eyes, "what happened, baby?" He whines, "I slipped off a stack of books, and passed out in the little girls room." The confusion was in both our eyes, "little girl? what girl, chipmunk?"

Holding his head, he whines, "Nina." After wiping off the blood from his forehead, Mom carries him to the bedroom. "How about some rest? I'll check up on you in a bit, don't fall asleep." She kisses his cheek, he smiled. "How about some cookies later tonight?" Nate nodded his head, he hugged his moose tightly. As we left his room, all I thought about was the room upstairs. I still didn't get to explore like I wanted to, but it was getting late.

"Oh, mom, has Lilac introduced herself to you yet?" Mom looked at me confused. "Lilac, no I haven't met her. Who is she?"

"The gardener. She keeps the flowers alive, and she's really kind." She smiles, "can't wait to meet the nice lady." Mom has always been so welcoming to anyone she meets, she'd take a stranger in any day if she could. I'd hope to be the same once I'm out on my own. We both sit on the couch and wait for dad to walk through the door, wait for Nate to come out, wait for something to happen.

"Daddy! Welcome home." He looks around the house in awe. "Hi sweetie, have you been helping around the house?" I smile, "of course, the kids need me." He kisses mom, "hello Renae, I missed you so much." They hug each other tightly. Disgusted by the kiss they both shared, I clear my throat. "Well, I'm goanna start the cookies for Nate now." Backing out of the living room, I get the cookies started.

"Cookies!" I set them on the table, ready for everyone to come and decorate. Dad yells, everyone runs downstairs to see him. "Where's Nate?" Dad asked, looking around for him. "Nate slipped and hurt his head, he's resting up in his room." Taking dad to his bedroom, he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, buddy." Nate latches on to him, kissing his cheek. "Daddy!" Dad carries him downstairs, setting him next to me. "Cookies!" He yells, "daddy, will you help me decorate?" Handing everyone a butter knife, everyone carefully picks out a christmas cookie they want to decorate. Trees, reindeer, ornaments, and stockings are passed around the table. "This one is like my toy! I want this one." Smiles fill the room, the joy of Christmas finally settles in.

"I have something special to show you guys." Dad says, racing out of the house. The door flies open, a tall Christmas tree in his arms. "Let me help you, dad." Dane hops up, moving the tree to the living room. It was a real tree, perfect for our new home. At least eight feet tall, and plenty of space for ornaments.

A Charlie brown Christmas was on, the kids favorite Christmas movie. As they all settle down, Nate was the first to fall asleep. Once all of them fall asleep, all three of us carry the youngest to their beds. "Son, get some sleep. Nicole you should too." I give mom and dad a hug, they wanted time to themselves.

"I'm going to take a shower, if that's okay?" Dad nods, "as long as you're quiet, we actually got them to sleep early."  Sitting down in the bathtub, the water runs down my back. The steam builds up on the mirror, fog covering the whole room. As I hop out of the shower, I wrap up in a towel and dry my face. Wiping the mirror with my hand, I jump. I saw a little girl in the mirror, and she scared me. She had long black hair, blue eyes, and a scar on her forehead. It had to be Nina.

Bolting to the room, I quickly close the door. Throwing my body under the blankets, I start to think about Nate; and how he saw Nina. The room upstairs must be where she stayed, and I wanted to see what was in there.

The light from the sun shined in my face, it was annoying, but welcoming. I don't even remember falling asleep."Good morning, Nicole. How did you sleep?" I nod my head, "fine." Dane stares at me as I sprawl across the couch, "you good?" I roll my eyes. Nate walked up to me, he was pale. "I'm tired, Sissy, and my tummy hurts." He holds his moose close to his chest. "So, what'd you name your moose?" I smile at him, trying to keep his mind off the pain. He scrunches his nose, "I can't think of a name, you name him. Nothing ridiculous though." I put my finger to my lip, trying to think of the perfect name.

"Well, you have Wally the giraffe, So how about Douglas the moose?" I rub his shoulder, "that's only if you want his name that." He hugs him, "Douglas is prefect! Thanks sissy!" He takes off to his room giggling. I was happy to help him think of something special, something that means so much to him. "So children, I have a question for all of you. It's very important, so I want your honest opinion about it." Nodding, we were all ready to know what she had in mind. "I want another child, a brother or sister for you. I want to foster a child in need, what do you think?" Mom was looking at all of our expressions, most of us were not pleased.

"Absolutely not. I don't want yet another little one to look after." Dane crosses his arms. "Another brother or sister, can you really afford another child mom? I'd be fine with it, but could you financially?" She crosses her arms, "we can definitely afford another child." She looked hurt, it was like we just shot her in the back. "Does dad know?" I ask, what if he didn't? "Of course, he's the one who brought it up in the first place." I cross my arms, it was just another child he wouldn't be around.

I storm off into the bedroom, I couldn't believe it. Dad wants another child, but barely sees his own. He's gone all the time, how would he even get to know them? Laying on the bed, I begin to think about the upstairs room again. I wanted to go up there and find out what Nate was talking about. Pulling my backpack out from the closet, I put all the things I might need in there. I sneak around the corner, climbing up the stairs as fast as I could.

I flip the switch, brightening the room and blinding the darkness. In the corner of the attic, a red chest sits in the corner. A metal lock dangles from the hinges, I pull out the pliers and snip the lock. 'Click' the lock falls to the ground. As I lift the top, dust flies in my face; I couldn't help but cough. A small picture gently falls to the ground, wiping off the dust, a little girl was revealed. She was young, about Nate's age. She was petite, pretty black hair and a smile anyone would love to have. As I flip the picture over, the name Nina was written in crayon.