CHAPTER 125

I dropped the phone on the sofa and leaned forward toward the coffee table picking up the stack of mail. I tossed the junk mail to one side, a few bills to the right. I then came upon a medium sized manilla envelope that was extremely thick, all of the edges had been taped together for extra support. It was addressed to me with the word PERSONAL wrote at the bottom of the envelope. I quickly saw it was from Mr. & Mrs. Timmons, their home address visible on the upper left corner. I turned the envelope to one end, carefully tearing off the end, opening it up. I pulled out a small piece of paper that was torn from a notepad, it was in Mrs. Timmons handwriting.

Brian,

I was going through some of Courtney's older things,

I found a shoe box full of photos. I made you copies of all

of them, I thought you might like them. I know she was

special to you, as you are to us. We love you, hope to see

you soon.

Love, Elaine.

I took a deep breath, then slowly reached into the envelope, removing a large stack of photos that had been carefully bound together. I broke the band, unwrapped the loose leaf paper, turning the pile of photos over. I looked at the top photo, my heart immediately sinking into the pit of my stomach. The photo was of Courtney and I kissing in her parents kitchen, just minutes after I had been drafted by San Diego, several years earlier. Courtney was standing on her tiptoes, her arms wrapped around my neck.

I slowly moved to the second photo, it was of the two of us, before our first dance together in high school. We were in front of her parents' fireplace, it seemed like only yesterday. As I turned each photo, another small piece of my heart broke off, everything came flooding back to me. By the time I had gotten to the bottom of the photo's, I was crying like an infant. The pictures were all face up on my coffee table, an emotional jigsaw puzzle from the past. Courtney was beautiful, God I had loved her so much, I just wished that I could have one more day to spend with her. My emotional outburst was broken, there was a knock on the door.

I got up, trying to compose myself, it was impossible, I was too far gone. I opened the door, Alexis was standing there, her smile quickly fading as she saw my state.

"Brian, what's wrong ?", she asked.

"It's not important, please come in.", I asked her.

She walked past me into the front room, I passed her on the way to the kitchen.

"You want something to drink ?", I asked.

"Water would be nice," she replied.

I went to the ice box and grabbed two bottles of water, there was little else in there. As I walked back into the room, Alexis was looking through the pictures on the table, her right hand pushing them around. I handed her a bottle of water, then sat down on the other end of the sofa.

"Maybe this is a bad time for you, I can leave you alone.", she offered.

"It's ok, those just came in the mail. I wasn't prepared, I had no idea what they were.", I replied, looking down.

"She was beautiful Brian, it's obvious you loved her deeply, even now you're not over her.", she said, softly with a smile.

"I'll never get over Alexis, she will always have a place in my heart. I have accepted that she's gone, but I will never forget her completely.", I answered, tears still rolling down my cheeks.

I think Alexis knew perhaps it was time to change the subject, maybe get on to what she had wanted to talk about. She shifted around nervously in her seat, her eyes looking down at the carpet, unable to look at either me or the photos.

"Brian, this is probably a bad time to have this conversation, in fact maybe it's best I just go back home, leave you alone.", she offered.

'AAlexis please, say what you want to say, we're both adults.', I urged.

"Brian, I was wrong, I made a huge mistake. I can't ask you to forgive me, I made a choice, I made the wrong one. I'm just hoping, maybe, we could start over, maybe you could give me one more chance ?", she asked.

"What did Paige tell you ?", I inquired.

"I have known Paige since my freshman year in college, I trusted her like a sister. I have never known her to lie to me, not once. Apparently though Paige has a problem, she admitted it to me for the first time. She has a hard time controlling herself around men, she enjoys sex very much, too much it seems.", she admitted.

"So what exactly did she say to you ?", I asked, once again.

"She told me she came down here that evening, with the intent on seducing you. It seems she finds you incredibly attractive, she had been fantasizing about you for a while. She figured you were like most men, you wouldn't have a problem sleeping with her, if she kept quiet. She admitted she came on to you, what you told her, that you threw her out. It wasn't until she had gotten back to my place, she realized what she had done. By then it was too late, she was afraid you would tell me that it would ruin our friendship. So she decided to try and save our friendship, making you the villain.", she ended.

"Well, tell her thank you from me, I'm grateful that she admitted the truth. It means a lot to me, it really does.", I answered.

"She wanted me to ask you, if perhaps, one day you might forgive her. If not, she does understand.", Alexis told me.

There was an awkward pause, I was wondering in my mind had Alexis already forgiven her friend. I knew that being around Paige from now on would be extremely difficult to say the least.

"So, I guess there's not much more to say. Other than once again, I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me, I don't want to lose our friendship.", she ended.

"I forgive you, Alexis.", I replied.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I doubted you, I made a horrible decision.", she answered.

As bad as I felt, it seemed a tremendous burden had been lifted from my shoulders. While I had no idea if my relationship with Alexis would ever be the same, at least she knew the truth about what had happened. There wasn't any chance of moving on until that was settled, now it was. I could sense from her posture, she perhaps felt a little better as well, her sagging shoulders now raised up higher. As usual she looked amazing, it had become so difficult to sit in a room with her without wanting to hold her and kiss her. She was wearing tight blue jeans, a tee shirt and sneakers, but still looked like she had jumped from the pages of a modeling magazine.

Alexis got up from the end of the sofa moving towards me, finally sitting down right next to me. She reached out and took my hand in hers, her eyes looking into mine.

"Brian, I would do anything for things to go back to the way they were. I just have a feeling I have broken something inside of you, something I possibly can't fix.", she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

"I don't know Alexis, it just seems every time I think my entire life makes sense, something happens. I feel like maybe, it's my destiny, who knows.", I answered.

She looked down at the coffee table littered with photos of Courtney and I, then back up to me, a single tear running down her beautiful face.

"I do know one thing Brian. I will never be able to compete with Courtney.", she replied, sadly.

"I'm not asking you to, Alexis.", I responded.

She leaned over and put her head on my chest, her arm around my waist. I held her with my left arm, resting my face on the top of her head. She smelled so good, she felt so wonderful, I would never forgive myself if I didn't try and make this work. I'm not sure how long we sat there, it had to be at least twenty minutes.

"What are your plans for tomorrow ?', she finally asked, not raising her head.

"I wasn't going to do much, hang out here. I have to leave about mid-day Sunday, "I answered.

"Would you spend the day with me ? Just the two of us ?", she asked.

"That sounds nice, I would like that.", I replied.

She left shortly there after, no kiss goodbye, just a long sincere look as she closed the door behind her. I went back into the main room, gathered all the pictures up, and placed them back into the envelope. I went to my bedroom and placed the envelope in my top dresser drawer. I undressed, got into bed, my mind wandering back home, to the days I had spent with Courtney, when everything seemed so much easier.