Shattered Petals

Adrian blamed himself for not noticing the signs earlier. He had been swept away by that intoxicating bliss, that sheer relief of finally being accepted and loved. He felt so dumb and stupid that he had been painfully naïve.

He deluded himself into believing that he could ever be enough for Luke, which was his first mistake that marked the very beginning of his sorrow.

But Adrian was no fool. He is in fact a genius. The smartest in the class. He is someone who solves the hardest math problems on a daily.

He should have realized sooner, right? He should have accepted the truth earlier, right?

But no. Adrian made himself look like an idiot. And what for? For love.

Adrian deceived himself by thinking of the moments where Luke would hold his hand, lock eyes with him, and share in their laughter. He convinced himself that the years they had shared would be enough.

How naïve he was.

He should have just accepted the truth that he could never fully satisfy Luke's insatiable appetite for excitement, the man who consistently found himself entangled in trouble and left a trail of broken hearts in his wake.

From the very beginning, Adrian was never good enough, and why should it be any different now?

And yet, Adrian still ignored the very fact that he was simply a temporary substitute for someone else. Someone with fair locks instead of his own raven-hued tresses, someone who is brave, someone who is not shy and someone who surpassed Adrian in every imaginable way.

When Daichi's girlfriend broke up with him, Luke became Daichi's unwavering pillar of support, not his own. Luke remained by the blonde's side, offering comfort and a compassionate shoulder to lean on. Movie dates were cancelled, texts left unseen and calls were ignored, all in the favor of tending to Daichi's needs.

And Adrian painfully understood.

"Bastard-" At first, anger threatened to consume him. He wanted to just scream and let his tears pour down. But alas, he could not. Because despite Luke's lack of genuine affection, he had been one amazing boyfriend; caring for Adrian, preparing meals for him, giving him flowers and chocolates, and lending an attentive ear to his every word.

And how could I ever get mad at him... when he's so happy.

Luke had become the definition of an ideal partner, surpassing even Adrian's wildest hopes. Five years has past. They had been together for that long.

"I-I'm just glad-" Tears poured down his face as he sat in his room, fixated upon the photograph of him and his boyfriend, being shown on his phone's lock screen. "-that he's happy and found someone he could love..."

And then, the next day, Adrian woke up, hiding behind a façade of smiles. He interacted with his friends, colleagues, and even Luke, flawlessly resuming his daily routines as if nothing had happened the other night.

[scene change]

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[scene change]

Adrian deserved so much more, someone much better than him. This realization had been gnawing at Luke's conscience for quite some time now. Adrian deserves a love that would embrace him unconditionally, someone who would never avert their eyes when they were together.

Someone who is not me-

"Ian," Luke uttered, pausing for a moment. Adrian deserves something greater than what they have. Someone better that him. Luke had reached a conclusion within himself, knowing that, after everything, the least he could do was be honest. "Adrian."

Leaning back against the shoulder of the red-haired man, Adrian responded, his voice filled with curiosity, "Hmm?"

"I'm-" Luke took a deep breath, trembling. "-I'm in love with Daichi."

Adrian's reaction was not as expected. There were no outbursts or punches. No screams. Nothing. But instead, a warm smile graced his lips, and his hand gently enveloped Luke's.

Adrian's beautiful blue eyes met Luke's widened gaze, a mournful smile curved upon Adrian's lips, "I know..."

Luke's heart sank into the depths of his stomach when he heard that reply, "What?"

"I may look stupid at times, but I'm not oblivious, Luke. You know how observant I can be." Adrian chuckled softly, "Did you really think that I wouldn't notice?" He teased gently.

Taken aback, Luke blinked in surprise, on the verge of replying when suddenly, "I'm just grateful that you allowed me to love you, even if only for a short period of time," Adrian interrupted, his foolish yet beautiful smile reminded Luke of their past.

I too don't want to see you like this. I don't wish to lose you again, so I promise you that I won't ever push you away ever again. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you, Ian.

Luke had known this person since they were both young, and he had caused pain to that innocent soul. And now, he was about to shatter Adrian's heart once again. "Now, go on," Adrian continued. "I know and I understand, Luke, so please don't worry about me."

"Ian, I-" Luke began, and yet again, Adrian silenced him before he could finish.

 "You don't have to say anything to me, Luke," Adrian whispered softly. "The days we have spent together have been the most amazing days of my life," he confessed.

"And I love you, Lu. I love you so much, which is exactly why I must let you go." Luke struggled to ignore the tightening ache in his chest as he witness the simmering sorrow within Adrian's captivating blue eyes, "Go and be with the person you truly love. Daichi is waiting for you, so don't worry about me, just go."

 Tears welled up in Luke's eyes as he tenderly grasped Adrian's hands and pressed a gentle kiss upon his knuckles. "Thank you."

 Adrian's smile was exquisitely heartbreaking, "Goodbye, Luke"

Had Luke spared beyond Adrian's radiant smile, he would have seen the sadness and anguish that dwelled within his eyes. However, Luke did not linger to entertain such thoughts as he released Adrian's hands and hastily made his way towards the person he loves.

As he left the apartment, he was oblivious to the red and blue rose petals that had been wrenched from Adrian's throat. And nobody bore witness to the vast sorrow that flooded the air. "I love you, Luke." With bloody lips, Adrian whispered.