Chapter 32 Trauma

Avery's POV

Me and Scarlett got out the car and walked into the apartment. She had her head down the entire time. When we walked in Jamie was in the kitchen making dinner and Amy was on the couch watching tv.

"Hey guys we're back"

"Hey Scar" Jamie and Amy said.

She didn't say anything, just kept walking to her room. A few seconds later I got a text from her that said not to tell them what happened.

Thinking about what she told me makes me so angry and sad and confused. Why is crap always happening to her. I can't leave her in her room by herself so I tell the other two I'll be in the room with Scarlett and they reply and continue with what their doing.

When I walk in I see Scarlett laying on the floor curled up into a ball. I walked over and sat down in front of her.

"What can I do to help?"

"Give me a knife"

"Scarlett-

"Let me slit my wrists and end this pitiful life. Bad things keep happening no matter what I do. Let me die"

Her words pierced my heart. I could feel the tears in my eyes and running down my face.

"I can't let you die Scar. Your life is too important to so many people"

"I'd rather rot in hell then see what bad thing could possibly happen next"

"Don't think that way, have hope Scar"

"I can't. Now can you go get me a knife since you threw away all the razors"

"Scarlett, this is gonna be hard but I'm gonna help you through it every step of the way"

"I wanna die"

"I won't let you"

Then Amy came in and saw us on the floor.

"What's going on? Scarlett are you ok?"

I looked at Scarlett and she was staring off into space. I can't tell Amy even though I want to.

"Can you just leave us alone in here for awhile?"

"Ok, well dinners ready"

She walked out and closed the door behind herself. I don't want to make her feel worse but she hasn't eaten much for the last few days. She needs to eat an actual meal but, she's so fragile right now and I don't want to make it worse.

"Scarlett, do you think you can eat something today?"

"No"

"Ok that's fine. Are you going to school tomorrow?"

"No"

"Ok, I'll email your teachers saying that your sick. Come on, you should lay in bed not the floor"

"I don't deserve a bed"

"Yes you do Scarlett"

She stood up and started walking to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To get a knife since you won't do it for me"

She walked out the door and I quickly followed her. In the hallway I grabbed her and turned her around. "Scar, I'm not gonna let you kill yourself"

"Fine then I'll just cut"

"I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself at all"

She looked numb now. When I looked into her eyes there was no sadness or anger or anything. Just empty.

"Let go of me"

"Scar-

"I SAID LET GO OF ME!!"

I let her go and she kept walking towards the kitchen so I grabbed her again. "Amy! Call Ms. Diane!"

"Why?"

"Just do it!!"

"Ok!"

She looked mad now. I could tell her emotions were all over the place.

"Scar-

Just as I was about to talk to her she punched me in the stomach and I let go of her. She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. By now Jamie and Amy had caught on to the fact that something wasn't right.

"Scarlett if you do that they'll send you away. And if you get sent away me and Jamie may be seen as unfit to raise you two and you'll go back into foster care"

I could tell she was contemplating wether or not to do it. We took the opportunity and Jamie grabbed the knife out her hand while Amy tackled her onto the ground. I know that sounds rough but there were more knives right beside her she could of easily grabbed another one.

"GET OFF ME!!"

"Whats wrong?!? Why are you acting like this?!?"

She stopped struggling for a second before banging her head on the ground repeatedly. Amy pulled her up and held her whole body so she couldn't move.

"Let go of me!"

"Scarlett I know this is hard but please" I said

"Are either of you gonna say what's going on?" Amy said

"Did you call her therapist?"

"Yeah she'll be here any minute"

"Good" I sat down beside them both and Jamie did the same.

"Can I tell them?"

"Just do it"

I look at them both and sigh before starting. "Scarlett was sexually assaulted by the guidance counselor at her school today"

I could see the shock in their faces. Scarlett started tearing up and I could see how much she was hurting. Just then we heard a knock on the door and when I opened it Ms. Diane was here. Thank god, I don't want to keep having to restrain her. I told her what happened and walked her over to where Scarlett was.

"Hi, she's in here"

We walk into the kitchen and she sees Amy in the floor holding Scarlett with Jamie sitting beside them.

"She was trying to hurt herself so we had to hold her until you got here"

"That's okay, you can let her go now"

Then Amy let her go and she scooted away from Amy and sat there with her head down.

"Scarlett, Ms. Diane is here to help you"

"I don't wanna talk to her"

"But It'll help you get through this"

"I'm disgusting" she mumbled to herself avoiding eye contact with us.

"No your not Scarlett, you've just been through a lot"

"Scarlett, please let me help you"

"You'll just try and send me away again"

"I'll only do that if your a danger to yourself or others"

She stopped talking, I don't want her to feel like she has to do this alone. We're here to help and I know that right now she needs us.

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Scarlett's POV

I don't want help. I just want to be left alone so that I can get all these feelings out. I wanna be numb. I don't wanna feel anymore. And cutting will do that for me.

"Scarlett?" Avery said

If I try and grab a knife from where I'm sitting, Avery will grab me and even if I get the knife they'd take it before I'd get to use it.

"Scar?"

What a nickname. Scar. I feel like it's so fitting. All the mental and physical scars on my body. The years of pain. Scar really is a good nickname. "I wonder why I didn't notice that before" They all looked at me confused and concerned. "I said that out loud didn't I?"

"Hey everyone, can me and Scarlett talk one on one for a little while" Ms. Diane said.

"Ok, come on you two, let's wait in the lobby"

And just like that they were gone. Just me and her. My heart started to speed up and I started to sweat. I don't wanna have another panic attack. Cut Cut Cut. My brain won't slow down.

"So Scarlett, can you tell me how your feeling right now?"

She's sitting right in front of me so there's no way I'd get a knife. But I need it. I can't hold back any longer. I need to do something.

"Just move so I can get a knife" I say in a shaky voice.

"Why do you need a knife? Are you trying to self harm?"

"Isn't that fucking obvious"

"Scarlett I can't let you do that"

I jump up and try and grab a knife but it's no use. She grabs me before I can. I feel this sudden rush of anger and sadness come over me and I pushed her off of me and started punching the ground. She grabbed me and my mind went straight back there.

"Is this how Matt does it?"

"LET GO OF ME!!"

She let go and I fell on the floor in tears. Why didn't I run or scream. "This is all my fault, I deserve this"

"What happened to you was out of your control"

"I could've ran. I could've screamed. I could've hit her. But I sat there and took it. And the worst part was the fact my body liked it. That short period of time my body loved it. I hate my existence at this point."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you. You froze, and that's a completely natural response to something like that. Sometimes your body doesn't agree with your mind"

In that moment I wanted to die. I looked at her and I could tell she could see how much pain I was in. I'm done trying to get better, it doesn't matter anymore.

I'm done.

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Don't worry guys, I don't think I'll kill her, I'm too emotionally invested in this character😅