C32. Dead Memories

Jossie's POV:

"You slept with him, didn't you?

You slept with that fucking bastard!"

It was my father who was screaming this time. His voice was distant and hard to hear.. But, I recognized what he was saying when I put two and two together.

     "I didn't sleep with him!" This was familiar. I think I heard my mother screaming just now. This was the dream... again? I was having it once more. Mother's voice brought me to my senses. I don't recall my mother screaming that though... Did she really say it? Who was she talking about?

     "You liar! I found your spare phone! The messages are all over the damn thing. I could read one to you right now. Where is it? Where's the spare fuck-ing phone!?"

     "You're bloody crazy! I don't have a spare phone!"

       "That's it! I'm leaving! I'm taking my fucking daughter with me!"

     "You can't take my children from me!"

       "You don't even want her!"

     "She has duties to this pack, William! You have duties to this pack! You can't just leave the fuck-ing pack!"

       "I'm leaving you. I'm not leaving this pack!"

     "THIS IS MY PACK!"

     "Jossie!" My father's voice called for me. "Wake up!" His voice sent a shiver down my spine as I heard him yell for me in the kitchen. "We're leaving-"

     "No you're not! You can't leave me!  News flash, werewolves don't un-mate after they've been mated! There isn't a thing called divorce! This is my pack and my family! This is everything you wanted to have when you came to me and forced the bond."

    "All you do is lie, April. You lie to everyone! You even lie to yourself. You never wanted this from the start. You only wanted to make your fucking mother happy. This mate-ship was never serious to you from the start. This isn't a game, April. This is a family you're ripping apart. I want a divorce," I heard my father say back. 

       "Over my dead body!"

     I was at home curled up in my purple velvet bed sheets. Tucked under my arm was a rainbow llama plushie. I stuck the plushie under the blanket for security before throwing my blankets back. I crept out of bed as my head throbbed from a morning headache. 'Jossie,' his voice echoed once again. I walked downstairs and paused when I hit the last step of the staircase.

     'Jossie- Are you awake?' I heard my father's voice calling out weakly to me. 'Run away. Get out of this pack!'

     "Dad?" I asked as I felt my heart racing.

     My eyes landed on the kitchen's dim lighting pouring out into the hallway.

     'Jossie.'

     "What is it dad?" I wondered as I walked towards the kitchen. Why would I need to run away? Where would I go? I won't go without him.

     'Don't come in here.' 'Don't come in here.' 'Don't come in here.' 'Don't come into the kitchen.'

     I should have listened to the warning. I passed down the hall leading to the kitchen. I wanted to see what was there. Where my father was and where my mother went. I wanted to know what was happening between the two. The kitchen seemed to grow further away. I kept walking towards it but never reached it. My feet began to ache and I had to pause as I came across the hall's decorative mirror. There in the reflection...

     'Jossie,' my sister's voice echoed in my head. 

     "Jossie you have to remember," I mumbled. 

     "If you know something... You have to remember. Because I wasn't ever there."  Yes, Jules wasn't even there the night it happened.

I knew it. I knew it all along this would happen. I would be forced to remember the events of my father's death. Juliette wasn't there the night father died. I've been wishing she had filled my shoes the whole time. I had hid my memories from myself. I've known all along what happened. I just don't know why I refuse to remember it. "You have to remember." I remember. I was there when it happened. I know what happened. Only I do.

     I had to rub my eyes as I focused on my pale skin in the mirror. It was me. This was the truth. I was in my night clothes. The set I fell asleep in the night of my father's murder. No longer will I let my mind prevent me from the truth. These are my memories I've been suppressing all this time. 

     There in the mirror was my eyes I inherited from my mother. Those cold opal eyes. They remind me of a killer. The blank stare of tiredness reflected back at me. I was a loser. I was gross to look at. I hated mirrors. I would only look for a few seconds. The thought of being dragged in prevented me from looking longer. I can't be confused anymore... This is what really happened.

'Dearest Jossie...' My mind echoed. I would look back in the mirror to see my lips parting as I thought to myself. I walked off towards the kitchen. Braving my steps. I found myself stepping into the kitchen. What happened the night my father died? What were the events that followed me waking up that night? I know now... What I remember is different from what happened. I have to know now. No more running away. I want the truth. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth.

     "Hey... Wake up," I heard Casimir's sweet voice whispering in my ear. "Wake up so we can get going." I almost thought it was too good to be true. I fluttered my eyes awake as the dream still lingered on my mind. I was about to remember what happened. I was about to enter the kitchen and unlock my deepest memory. 

     What happened that I can't remember? Did I see my father's killer? I know now... They were fighting. Mother had cheated on father. Father was trying to leave her. Juliette wasn't home. Father was going to take me with him. We were going to get out of the house and away from my mother. Did- Did she kill him?

     Casimir covered my mouth the minute my eyes opened. He put an index finger over his lips to warn me to stay quiet. I sat up slowly as he took his hands away. He pointed behind me and I turned to see Zeke still asleep. I got up with Casimir as I pulled my shorts up. He took my wrist and started to pull me towards the door. I stumbled with him until he pulled me outside. The minute my feet touched the snow I yelped. It was freezing outside!

     "Casimir," I growled out in annoyance. He's the reason I didn't get to finish my memories. I should blame him... But, can I really?

     "Come on and hop on," he told me as he slid his shirt off. I grabbed his arm before he could transform. Where does he think we're going?

     "What? I thought we would at least say goodbye," I mumbled. It was barely dawn out. The snow was about a foot tall. It was freezing outside. Where did he think we were going?

     "We should leave," he said in a warning tone. "There are unknown rogues in the territory. I think it would be best if we leave while the pack is behind border patrols due to the storm. Don't you agree?" The longer we stay here the higher the risk of being caught is. He's right. They're not going to be out right now. They're at home in their beds. 

     "I- I guess so," I mumbled. 

     "I don't trust Zeke," he whispered. "Let's leave before he wakes up."

     "What happens if we run into the rogues?" I asked in worry. 

     "We won't. They'll still be asleep too," he whispered. "Let's go." Even the rogues in the territory from last night are bedding somewhere. This is our chance to leave.

     I nodded as I held onto the helm of my shirt. I wasn't sure what to do. I really wanted to say goodbye to Nathalie... But- I guess she is in good hands here. She will find her way back home. She's an adult and can do that. She came here alone after all. That's something she'll have to work out alone. Casimir was right. We need to leave now while everyone is asleep. 

     "You can ride on my back," he whispered. "I'm sure you haven't figured out how to flow between forms, am I right?" He was right. I didn't have control of it. The last time I transformed was because I got angry at my sister. I motioned for him to go. I let his arm go. He took his pants off and transformed into his familiar wolf form. I got on top of him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I squeezed my thighs together to hold on as he took off running towards the woods. 

Nathalie's POV:

     My eyes opened as a smile crossed my face. I was wrapped up by a warm embrace. Veronica was asleep still. Her breath was warm and hitting my ear. I slowly made my way out of her arms. I crept into the living room to check on everyone. 

     I frowned when I saw Zeke asleep. His head laying down on a blanket rested on the countertop. He's going to have a bad neck ache today. I glanced over to the couch and froze up when I saw it empty. I ran towards the door fast. My heart pounded in my chest as I threw it open. There were tracks leading into the woods. About two hours old. I slammed the door shut and heard Zeke fall out of the chair. His startled mouth muttering curses. I stomped over to him and kicked him in the stomach as I leaned down and glared him in the eyes. 

     "It's your fault!" I shouted. "They're gone and its your fault!" I felt a growl erupting from my chest as I thought about tearing his face apart. Why was he asleep!? I heard Veronica coming into the room from the hallway. 

     "What's wrong?" Veronica asked as she pulled me away from Zeke. She rubbed my head and I felt slightly calmer. Zeke glared me down in alarm.

     "Yeah! Why are you kicking my ass?" Zeke questioned as he held onto his stomach. I bet I left a bruise! I gave him a middle finger as I looked towards Veronica. 

     "They're gone!" I shouted. I pointed towards the couch and saw her glance over. "What if he's the killer!? What if she's in danger?!" I asked in alarm. You can't trust a fucking rogue! She frowned before letting me go and marched over to the doorway to look out at the tracks leading off to the woods. It would be too late. We wouldn't have enough time to catch up to them. They're gone! Zeke got to his feet and set the barstool back up. He folded the blanket as he walked over to the phone. I growled in alarm. "Who are you calling?" I asked as I felt afraid suddenly. 

     "Relax. I'm going to call my girlfriend," he told me. "I'm just going to let her know I slept over here at Vee's and I'll be on my way to check in on her just as soon as I get out the door." His girlfriend?! Who cares about his girl friend?! Josephine's life could be in danger right now! Vee closed the door as she walked over to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. 

     "Sit down sweet heart," she said over her shoulder. "We're not leaving just yet. Not on empty stomachs. We have to figure out what move to make next."

     "We have to go off after them!" I told her as I obediently went to the bar and sat down at it. I didn't want to be too dramatic... But, I was scared for Josephine. I didn't want her to end up mixed up with rogues. We don't know what or who to believe right now.

     "Josephine believes he's a good guy. We just have to follow with her gut decisions. She is the only one out of us that was there the day her father died. So she should know best on who to trust."

     "She didn't trust him at the beginning," I muttered.

     "Nor did I want to. It was suspicious having a rogue in the territory the day the Alpha died... Let's just say... Casimir doesn't seem like the type to just kill without reasoning. His first words to me were that he didn't do it." I frowned and hung my head low. She suddenly sat a cup of coffee down in front of me. She pushed my chin up to look at her as she gave me a sweet smile. "We know she left to get out of the territory as fast as possible. The first territory she'll cross into is your pack's. She's not going to leave until she tells the king about her sister's plan. Which won't happen until the day of the masquerade. All we can do now is just meet her there and hope for the best." She looked over my head as I heard Zeke hang up the phone. He walked over to us. 

     "Phone not working?" I asked him softly. 

     "No."

    "Sorry about-"

     "No, it's fine. I like how you care for her. She needs someone to care about her," he admitted. "Listen if you ladies want safe passage over the borders I can ride with you there. You'll have to let me out though because I can't come with you. I need to stay here. Probably keep an eye on things." He looked at Vee. "Whatever happened here wasn't known to me. I'll keep this a secret for as long as I can." Zeke can vouge for us when we cross the borders. 

     "Thanks Zeke for choosing to trust us," Vee whispered. 

     "You can leave us a message at my diner if you find out anything we should know," I suggested. "Look up Tolen's Diner if you need us." I don't have a phone and I'm sure Vee lost hers already. Zeke's phone is probably somewhere at the station. Zeke nodded. 

     "Can I help with breakfast?" He asked as I remembered Veronica was going to make us eat before we leave. Probably for the best. I just wish I could have fed Josephine before she left us. There's no telling when the last time she's had a good meal. Veronica smiled as she opened up the fridge to decide on what to feed us. 

     I was then feeling grateful to have a mate like her. Someone I was already finding countable. I guess it will be fun introducing her to Malaya. I just don't know how to explain her to Malaya... How does one just introduce a new mate to their kids? I never heard of this case before. Maybe- I should wait until she's order and can understand better.