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A Bored Lich

"Screw magic, I want to learn how to do cool flips and stuff." Magic is awesome, until you've studied it for centuries. Doevm reincarnates into a human to experience the path of a fighter to its fullest and swears not to rely on magic. There is only one problem, a goddess stands in his way. She pits him against both the hero and the villain for all of eternity. How will he escape this, with magic or his fists? Maybe both? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Sorry about the spacing. Webnovel doesn't let me use enter) Winner of contest #110. I upload three chapters a week. Each chapter has word count around 1000+.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Link to my discord: https://discord.gg/tHaceja ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------While I am an experienced writer, I do make mistakes. Don't be afraid to say you don't understand something or point out an error in grammar. I read all comments. There are naturally some things I won't say. For example, if some says there's an inconsistency and I don't address it, it's probably there for a reason.

Random_writer · Fantasia
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467 Chs

Elven Techniques

Three squadrons of Elves all hung from the branches of trees. Their special hooks and light armor allowed them to traverse the top of the canopy without resistance. The daggers by their sides could be used to cut away the vegetation or to slit someone's throat. Arrows were nocked to their bows, but the order to fire never came. The three squad leaders all collected together and discussed the assignment in low whispers.

"What is the meaning of this?" Tim, the tallest of the Elves, asked. "Why are we summoned to gang up on a tiny squad. They don't even look to be actual soldiers. I'm getting an odd feeling about this. Just look at the squad leader. He's just a kid."

"It'll be fine." East, the one female of the three and of the entire gathering, said. "Look at them. We just need to do as our employer specified. Although this looks to be an easy assignment, there is no chance our employer would pay us to fall into a trap. That would be like throwing gold away. We just need to be patient and let them wander a little farther. It looks like they're isolated but one of my men spotted another squad patrolling in the area."

"That's exactly why we should hit them now." The last of the three chimed in. He was a small Elf and was named Smalls because of that. "We should attack before they manage to get to their objective or run into another squad. It's three against one and we have the element of surprise on our side."

"No," Tim said. "We need to minimize casualties. We will be in this war for a long time. Only by being cautious can we survive. Even one casualty is terrible for us. There's no way they can escape our surrounding, so just wait. Think of us like a spiderweb. They walked straight into us, but they haven't realized they are caught. Let them tangle themselves up some more before we strike, and it will be a sweeter victory."

"Fine," Smalls said, "But I'm not going to wait very long." As they were talking, Squad six gathered materials from the surroundings. Long pieces of wood, vines, and sticks were all gathered by each man. The squad leader was giving out some orders. The three squads stopped their talk and listened.

"I want half of you to carve the tips of these branches into spears." Doevm said. "This will be practice for when we build defenses in later missions. The other half will handle something else. For the vines, I want you to weave them in this order." He picked up two vines and wrapped them together in a simple motion, but it effectively made a snare.

"Hold on," Smalls said, "That weave is the type of trap Elves use. How did he come to know that? He's not an Elf."

East pointed to the person standing next to Doevm, a person with slightly pointed ears. "He looks to be our kin. He could have leaked our techniques. What a disgrace. We should kill him first."

The soldiers took a few minutes to copy the simple weave and had their own knots. Doevm inspected each one and nodded. Meanwhile the other group with sticks was whittling away, forming a crude but effective tip. After the squad leader inspected each, he handed each person another stick. These sticks were different from the straight ones the squad had just carved. They looked to be straight, but on the end, there were a slight jagged edge and they were much smaller. Doevm held the sticks together with the small stick around the bottom of the large spear. He launched the spear, keeping the small stick. The make-shift javelin, however, went straight into a tree and broke.

"Now they're making rough spears." Tim said. "How much has that traitor divulged to them? They are just learning basic things, but this will be dangerous if they learn the more advanced techniques. I can begin to understand why we were sent here by that man." Even though each of the Elves were fuming at the idea of their technology being so easily copied, they remained still. Elves were a proud race and would not subject themselves to motions fueled by anger. Only humans could act so erratically in their eyes.

Doevm made his squad do several sets of improvised traps and spears that would only last a single volley. After they were done, they left their creations as well as their rations against a single large tree. He gathered everyone up and continued the march. The Elves could only internally laugh at their odd behavior.

"Just a little more now." Tim said as the squads moved alongside the humans below them. "They're getting further from the base…" Just as he said that, the march turned slightly. His hands were steady, but his mind was in chaos. They weren't running away or towards the battlefield. They were running in a random direction. Nevertheless, the Elves kept following. Doevm hadn't said anything to his squad, and he didn't let them ask questions. Their march was even like the Elves. They didn't stand in perfect lines. They spread out and moved from tree to tree.

"Leave some men back." East said. "Lace their food with the Manticore's poison. We are getting paid well, and I intend to move efficiently." Some Elves immediately disappeared and waited over the squad's bags.

Every so often, Doevm would turn and say something to his group such as, "Those traps and javelins will save your lives someday" "I really Hopi (author's note: name is pronounced, hope-ee) we will come back to our rations soon" or "Did you hear five of something?"

"I think he's trying to signal his squad members of something." Smalls guessed. "But he isn't doing a very good job. They are just looking to themselves." He chuckled as the continued their pursuit. After thirty minutes of marching, Doevm stopped everyone, took a water break, and moved back.

"Weren't they supposed to go on a mission?" East asked. "This actually seems like a training exercise. While their direction may look random, they are circling around the circumference of the base. It's like they are taunting us, tiptoeing across the line of where we are confident and reluctant to attack. He should be trying to meet up with other squads, but our intel says he shouldn't run into anyone else."

"Just let them wear themselves out." Tim said. "My hand has been on my bowstring for so long now, but our stamina is greater than theirs. Look, they are already sweating a little after just a little exercise. This is great." He hoped from branch to branch, using his hooks and incredible balance to stay on. As the group was returning to their position, Tim furrowed his brows. "Where's the disgraceful one?" Since they were hoping from tree to tree, they would occasionally loose sight of the soldiers. Now that he recounted the squad, some were missing. The spy made sure that none of squad six would be able to return to base, but this still made Tim uneasy.

"Taking a dump maybe?" Smalls shrugged. "I don't care. We've been waiting for so long now. We should attack now. They won't be able to run away since they drained their own stamina for us. Letting them run around for this long was too much of a risk."

The three squad leaders looked at their men, who were all awaiting orders. They moved for a few days through the forest, relying on information from a human on their mission. Now that they were here, they had to complete the mission. Since Doevm was only on a training session, the squad would most likely return to base after this. It seemed the wait was unnecessary. As the Elves moved above the soldiers and took position, the men gathered up the improvised spears. Each one had three. The snares were gone.

Doevm made himself present under the base of the large tree. He stood on its roots above his soldiers and raised up a fist. His soldiers raised their spears to salute. The Elves couldn't take it any longer. They moved into position on the large tree and the trees surrounding them. Arrows left their quiver and met the bowstring. Everyone took aim. Not a single one was allowed to escape. Even if the squad members had spears, even if they noticed the Elves, it was still a three to one fight in the Elves' own territory. Humans were, and always would be inferior. The squad leaders held up their arms, reveling in their soon to be victory.

Then, when seventy bows tensed at once, and a rain of arrows nearly begun, Doevm reached to his right and pulled a single vine down. This caused a chain reaction starting with the branches they stood on. Every tree's branches fell. Vines seemed to come alive and wrap around everyone. Arrows flew in random directions, none of them hitting their intended targets. It seemed like the entire forest was falling when it was really the Elves. Normally they would hook onto the trees and launch an attack, but after a second of falling, they stopped in mid-air.

The squad leaders looked at their ankles to find the snares from earlier. When they looked down, the tips of wooden spears stared back at them. "Fire!" Doevm said. The squad launched their spears, turning Smalls and his squad into porcupines. "Reload." The spears were loaded onto the other sticks. "Fire!" Another squad was wiped out. Tim pulled out his dagger and tried to lift himself up, but another word from Doevm put an extreme pain through his back.

'Just a little more.' Tim thought. 'I need to report back. This kid, he's a monster.' His dagger was a few inches away from the vine. 'Just a little more.' With the surprise, he had forgotten to activate his red life essence. No wooden spear could stop him now. It would just bounce right off. That was until Doevm raised his own spear. Red mist poured into his arm. The spear whistled through the air. Tim fell limp.

The soldiers cheered while Doevm climbed up and retrieved his spear. Three dead squads hung above him, dangling from their ankles. He hadn't had a single casualty.

Woah, how did Doevm think of such an amazing and brilliant strategy. Find out next time on Dragon Ball....A Bored Lich. Yes, that's what I meant to say...

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