The crumbling World

I see my brother running his smile his face he calls for me i tried to follow him, only for my vision to shade black and white my vision slowly disappears and when i open my eyes i was looking down my body felt heavy and trap, my right eye was red i smell iron i slowly look up my head hurt i see blood all the way to my knees.

I woke up...

My head hurt my breathing was slow but heavy my heart pounded so much i felt like it was coming out i was sweating my hands shake.

It was the dream that i haven't seen in so long i though i would never see it again it hurts.

I move my legs slowly i felt the hot ground it look dirty. I try washing my face only to burn my hands no mater how i moved the temperature it was always hot. I take my hands and put cold water from the fridge that still works i riped with a knife laying around.

There was some medical cream i did not care what it was for it relieved the pain i felt i groan while wrapping my wounded hands. Pain is not as much as the pain i have felt before im still not used to it.

I slowly walked back to the kitchen i take a sit.

i remember the events from yesterday the man hanging from the seeling and his eyes open while water and blood ran down i felt my stomach groan in pain. i put my sweater that is almost burn from the slow rain out side.

I walked and jump the fence with the chair i left yesterday. The chairs cloth was burn the metal from the chair felt weak.

I enter the house it was 10.AM but inside the air was heavy almost as if i was breathing on a mountain i walk to the room were i left the man the blood in his eyes was dry his face told me the pain he felt and regret he had.

I close his eyes went into the garage and found a shovel it was almost new i guess he never used it. I walked out side and start to ding, honestly it feel me with memory of me digging around with a shovel looking for worms for a bird that was injure and i took care of it.

I look at my memories with pain and regret of how my life took a turn i never wished. Regret a feeling familiar to my body but it never gets old.

The earth was soft from the rain it almost felt like mod the smell was bad it was a smell i never experience before somehow when i see the rain it looks like a cry from the sky.

1 hour later i had finish a hole big enough for a person to fit in i go back inside the garage for pieces of wood i saw while looking for a shovel.

I place the wood inside the hole to make a coffin i only placed them, it was not petty but that's all i can do for a man i never knew.

I go and grab him it was hard to pick up so i put him in my shoulders.

My movement was slow and sloppy but i manage to bring him out side and put it slowly in his new bed... I place the rest of the wood on top.

I start filling the hole again my heart kept pounding. I remenber the memories of my past self me waching as my grandfather was put on a table his eyes were cold his body big and strong as always but he did not moved. I only watched i... I could only wach as how everybody cried back them i was only a kid i knew death was a goal that we all reach but i was shock when my grandfather died.

Regret the regret of not going with him like all the days.

Sadness and empty void that swells in my heart thinking is my fault.

Hate the hate that gre langer and larger against anything that i saw as enemies.

At the time this happen i was a kid my family believed in god and his grace and blessing.

I follow they and since i was a kid i though that if god existed that he was the best for allowing me to live. I believed in him more a few days later of my wish for a brother became reality.

Days were happy and calm it was easy living a life were you can see mountains around you nature was in every corner just the fresh air felt like happiness.

Them one day the already bad body of my great grandma became even weaker my grandma took care of her inside me i knew it would not last long but i dared not say this words i felt pity and sympathy with my lovely grandma 2 months later she died in our house we dis not went to hospitals my grandma wanted this so that her mom would not be lonely on a cold hospital bed.

Only 4 moths later my body became full of worry i did not knew the reason behind it so i check the hole house once i saw my grandfather waking up i told him that i wanted to go with him to take care of the animals he said that he would call me.

4 hours later i check again and he had left me and them i felt worry once again my heart beated fast and to calm myself i watched TV i did not the respond for this estrange day so i did not notice the premonition of my worse day in my life.

It became dark it was 4 in the afternoon my grandma show worry i guess we both felt the estrange day. Even do there were days he came really late she was worry as much as i was.

She call my oldest uncle to check everything.

People all over knew my grandfather he was a great man so much that the shining smile on his face makes me cry everyone respected him. So everyone knew were he went... Nobody saw him leave it was 6 and by that time he stays at somebody's house but he was not there my uncle calls as many as 15 people to search him up in the mountains were my grandfather and I went.

It was mid night everyone's head look down there was nothing but a chilling cold piercing our skins the truck gat in there was a silence so big that not even the dogs that always barked were dead silent the only thing that could be heard was the motor of the car running.

5 people got out of the car my uncle included they open the hatch door and there it was my grandfather...

Screams and sobs could be heard everybody cried their eyes out the only one with a copd expression was me. The lift him up and put him on a table. All my family was here well at least all of them close by it was 15 people in a cyan house that almost felt like a mansion.

They all cried for one man while i only gazed at him the already dead body had no harm nothing had damaged him his eyes were close he mouth was close his smile was no longer there the once strong man like a bull was now a fragile body that just looking at it the sence of peace could be felt from it.

I did not cried i was like a doll without emotions that day i don't remember sleeping i only remember.

Pain everyone express there pain in there heart.

The next day my mind was still trying to understand all emotions everyone look dead and silent. I tried to act normal at least the silent was filled somehow everyone drink a strong black coffee with bread.

(A tradition of people in my country that everyone does when there is a dead person)

Even i tried to fill my empty stomach with the strong coffee that hurt my throat. Everyone from my family finally came we were at least 20 people or more the church that my grandfather and grandma came even the head of the church came he was a good friend of my family.

The funeral was gona start a black car with a wood coffin came i don't remember how it look at that time it did not matter. They came and dress my grandfather with his best close that he had and moved him to the coffin before putting it into the black car.

The car starts moving and everyone inside the house moved along.

The entire neighborhood came when we gat to the main road all of them were there waiting we all walk along side each other my family's cries could be heart the broken soul of my grandma was hard to even look.

My head finally came back to reality as i estarted to finally cried along with everyone i was at the back of the truck following it wile walking i touch it as i cried feeling regret that i did not help him and a pain so big that i felt like a knife was going trough my body but at the time that did not matter the only thing.