10. Letter

If you're reading this letter, I must already be someone who no longer exists in this world.

What should I call you?

Yes. I won't hesitate any longer.

Whether you agree or not, I'll call you my son.

You must be 32 years old this year.

They say time flows like a river, but when I look back on the years that have passed as a powerless individual, everything just feels utterly meaningless.

Do you hate me?

I wonder how you'll feel when you come to know the truth. I can never know that now.

Lately, I've been sensing the impending approach of my own death.

Fortunately, with the help of the era and circumstances, I believe I've achieved everything I could as an individual.

I've built a higher reputation than anyone else and take pride in guarding that reputation steadfastly.

Even if I fall asleep today and never wake up tomorrow, I have no regrets.

However,

If there's one significant point that remains in my history as a great mark on my heart, it's your mother.

First, I can't avoid talking about your mother.

Your mother's name is Kang Eunmi.

I first met her in the summer of '89 when I was in Japan.

She was a 27-year-old graduate student from Osaka, a second-generation Korean-Japanese.

I was in Japan on a business trip back then. It was for the technical agreement of a car business I was about to start.

However, the person who was supposed to interpret for the local businesspeople didn't show up for some reason, and the person I found as a last-minute replacement was your mother.

Do you believe in fate?

I believe in it.

If I hadn't started the new business that everyone opposed.

If that interpreter hadn't gotten a flat tire.

If your mother hadn't been attending the university near the meeting place.

It felt as though everything was scripted to bring your mother and me together.

You, too, as an adult, must know.

How unpredictable and mysterious falling in love is.

An accidental meeting turned into sparks, and your mother and I fell deeply in love with each other.

I knew it was wrong.

I was the head of a massive company with thousands of employees, and above all, I was the head of a family.

But I couldn't control the feelings I had for your mother.

In my 40s, I worked tirelessly, but I was also lonely.

Is this all there is to life?

Emptiness was slowly devouring my life.

Your mother saved my life.

Your mother looked at me not as the CEO of a huge company, but as a man.

I still vividly remember.

Your mother's bright smile.

How could I forget that?

During those times, I couldn't believe that such a beautiful woman could love me.

Only when I was with her did the world regain its color.

Confession time. When I look back at my life, the moments I spent with your mother were the only times I could truly be myself.

And then,

You were conceived in your mother's womb.

Your mother was determined.

To give birth to a child.

Even if she had to raise a fatherless child, she was determined to give birth and raise a child.

I couldn't say anything.

I could have tried to persuade her with money.

But I couldn't bring myself to say such degrading words to your mother.

It would have been an insult to her and a disgraceful act towards a precious part of my life.

Your mother had only one wish.

To hold the child that would be born only once.

To let the child be born in her father's hometown.

And then, she would return to Japan and never appear before me again.

What could I do?

I could only nod.

And the day you were born.

A tragic event happened to both of us.

Your mother, who gave birth to you after more than 20 hours of labor, closed her eyes as if she had fulfilled her life's purpose.

With you, a newborn baby, in my arms, I stood there in a daze as if the soul had left me.

My son.

There's one thing I want to tell you for sure.

You were not a mistake.

Two people, a man and a woman, fell in love, and you were born into this world as a result.

Now you might ask.

Why did they leave traces of their love and abandon you?

More reasons to abandon you than to accept you.

Most of them were reasons influenced by societal norms, but in reality, those trivial things didn't matter at all.

But now I want to confess the real reason.

This confession has never been heard by anyone and has been hidden only in my heart. It was the most cowardly and shameful decision I made in the world.

I hated you.

I hated you, who fumbled with moist hands, not knowing anything.

You who unwittingly took away the most precious treasure in my life.

So that's why.

I was always in a position to make decisions.

I knew that the decision to turn away from you would become a sin.

Still, I did it.

I couldn't bear to have your face next to me.

My son, I won't beg for forgiveness from you.

If I were to be judged by someone after I die, I'm prepared to receive a great punishment.

I'm about to make my second cowardly decision in my life.

I have one request for you.

It's something only you can do.

After I die, I'm not afraid of things anymore.

The world will continue to turn smoothly due to countless gears,

And I will receive the most splendid memorial ceremony every year.

But just one thing.

Once I'm gone, there will be no one left to remember your mother.

So it can't happen.

I leave my memories to you.

The day you were born is February 13th.

And that day is also your mother's memorial day.

Please remember your mother at least once a year.

I'm sending an enclosed photo.

It's the only picture I have of your mother.

I believe you will cherish it.

From afar, I beg you with my head lowered.

You can even consider this a postscript.

You may not need me to say this, as you can easily find out about what I possess.

Do you think what I'm leaving you is too insignificant compared to that?

You could file a paternity lawsuit.

Certainly, you would receive recognition. It's an undeniable fact that you're my son.

But how long it will take to get that recognition is uncertain.

Tae Sang's lawyers are consistently capable and cunning.

It's not clear how you can stand against them.

But what's more concerning than that?

The world is a frightening place.

There are hundreds of ways to close your mouth with a much smaller cost and effort than what I'm leaving behind for you.

After long deliberation on my part, this is the amount of money I'm leaving.

This isn't me implying an apology.

How can money compensate for the years you spent?

However,

I believe the amount I'm leaving is not inadequate for you to live comfortably.

Live freely as you wish.

I hope you won't be entangled with Tae Sang.

My children and my different brothers, you and your brothers, all have their ambitions.

You won't be able to rival them, especially the eldest.

He's taken on my ruthlessness since a young age.

He's ambitious, and he has the capacity to control

those ambitions.

Whatever the reason may be, don't approach him.

I'm telling you this for your sake.

I've already prepared an apartment for you and your mother a long time ago.

Although I can't proudly say in front of others that you're my family, I wanted to take care of you and your mother where I can reach you.

It originally belonged to your mother, so I believe it should rightfully go to the person who should have had it, even if it's late.

Goyuna, the lawyer, is intelligent and capable.

She's been my confidante and friend.

She's someone you can trust, especially in my final days.

That should be a great support for you; keep her close.

Is this everything I need to say to you?

No, I seem to have forgotten the one thing I must say.

My son.

I'm sorry.

If a moment of impulsiveness made you unhappy, I want to kneel down and apologize.

Do I hope to be called your father with such pride?

Your mother is blameless. Every mistake from start to finish was my doing.

Please don't forget your mother.

*

A woman who resembles me.

Yes, from the moment I saw your mother's photo, tears started to well up.

After reading the letter, try as I might to hold back, tears started falling like pearls.

I traced your mother's photo with my fingers.

This is the person.

The person who opened the path with a letter.

I'm responding with an answer through Attorney Go.

- You are not a mistake.

This sentence was written with Chairman Jang's earnest effort.

It felt like the thorn that had been embedded in my heart for 32 years had finally come out.

I picked up my phone and called Attorney Go.

Ring━

"Hello."

She answered the call before the ringtone had a chance to fully play.

"Attorney Go, this is Han Youngsu."

"Your voice doesn't sound good. What's the matter?"

"I've read the letter."

"I see."

For a brief moment, neither of us said anything.

After breaking the silence, Attorney Go was the first to speak.

"Did you find the answer you were looking for?"

"Yes. I received what I needed to receive."

"I'm glad to hear that. Sincerely."

"Attorney Go, I have a favor to ask."

"Tell me anything."

"Will you attend Chairman Jang's funeral tomorrow?"

"Yes. I have to bid my final farewell."

Gulp━

I swallowed a dry lump in my throat.

My first and last conversation with my father.

He opened the path to me through a letter, and I'm responding through Attorney Go.

"Since I, an uninvited guest, cannot go to the place, would you please deliver my words in front of the portrait? Chairman Jang... my father. I understand your feelings well. I will try my best to follow your wishes. Forgiveness is still difficult for me, so I'll need time. But I won't hate you anymore. Also... tell him that I'll never forget the last request he made. I'll never forget."

"..."

"I don't expect you to say the word 'forgiveness.' It'll take time for me to grasp. But I won't hate him anymore, as he well understands. And... I promise I'll never forget the last request he made."

"..."

My eyes brimmed with tears.

The waterworks were impossible to control.

Assistant: "Is there anything else you'd like me to do for you?"