The things I’ll remember

POV 

Millie 

I'm a shell of a person. 

The guy I saw yesterday was nothing more than a vile creature. I can understand it was a surprise of a revelation but my god, did he have to be so eerily cruel? 

I stare up at the blotchy white ceiling in my bedroom as I'm sprawled on top of the white comforter with jumbled thoughts. I haven't talked to X since yesterday and although that hurts me, I'm pissed at him and he could shove it where the sun don't shine. 

Asshole..

"I guess it's us against the world little gummy bear," I speak to my belly and rub it. 

The sun has long set but I'm not tired, not even a little. I turn on the Bachelor but it's just not doing it for me right now, I can't concentrate. 

I don't know where X and I stand anymore and it's eating me alive. I won't sacrifice this child to please him and he's set on not wanting one so where does this leave us? 

As if he can read my mind I get a text from him. 

X: yo!!!! Needa talk 

Uhhh..

Me: Okay, when? 

X: I dnt no 

Is he drunk? 

Me: are you drunk? 

X: stop judging me goody 2 shoes lololol 

Fuck him, I'm not replying to his immature drunk texts. A few minutes go by and he texts again. 

X: hello??????

X: dnt b a bitch 

X: TLK to me 

X: fine have it ur way 

X: bbbbbbyyyy 

Me: text me when you're sober 

X: I am 

Me: you're not X. 

X: I'm gnna vome ovet 

What the actual fuck is he trying to say? 

X: b ther soin 

No. No. No 

I call him, and after five long rings, he answers. 

"Hmm?" He answers most definitely intoxicated. 

"Do not drive," I demand. 

"Pshh," he says, he can't even form coherent sentences. 

"Hello?" A voice, a familiar voice takes over his phone. 

"Heyyyy, give it back," I hear X whine in the background. 

A sudden surge of horror washes over me from head to toe. 

"Dani?" I ask into the phone with a shaky voice. 

"Yeah, hey Millie, sorry about X he's pretty fucked up right now," she says so nonchalantly, fiercely opposite of how I'm feeling. 

"Well, what the fuck is going on?!" I practically scream into the phone. 

What is she doing there with X? 

"Julian! Get him in bed!" Dani says sort of muffled and not talking to me. 

"Sorry, we were all just hanging out drinking and X drank a lot more than us." She says starting to laugh at something going on there. 

"I'm on my way there and do me a favor Dani, don't be there when I come," I say hanging up and not letting her get in an additional word in. 

I'm going to fucking kill him. 

I drive to X as fast as humanly possible without catching the attention of a police officer. I take the elevator up because of my lack of physical motivation and bang on his black door, the black that is currently the same color as his soul. 

Julian opens the door, "Where? Is. He?" I spit out. 

He points behind him and to the couch. 

"And where is she?" I ask hastily. 

"She left fifteen minutes ago," Julian announces. 

"Go home Julian," I finally say wrapping my arms around myself. 

He looks behind him at the drunk man on the couch talking some nonsense to himself, "Call me if you need me." 

I nod my head and give him a small smile before he leaves the same way I came. I walk over to X and stare down at him with my arms crossed over my chest. 

"Ugh you," he says slurring. 

"Yeah, me," I say emotionless. 

"What is your fucking problem X?! And what was Dani doing here? You must not give a single fuck about me. Whatever happened to gaining my trust back?" I ask raging. 

"You talk too much, what do you want from me?" He asks closing his eyes. 

"Ya know what? Fuck you I'm not doing this!" I spit out and turn away from the monster on the couch. 

"Don't go," he says clear as day. 

"You're right, I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm so lost," he breathes out. 

I turn back around to face him, his eyes still closed and sprawled on the couch. 

"I'm scared Millie, I'm fucking terrified this baby will come out like me," he says covering his eyes with his tatted hands. 

Finally, there it is. 

I walk over to him and remove one hand from his eye, "and what's wrong with that?" 

"Everything Millie, I don't want the child to suffer because of me," he says holding onto my hand and squeezing it, seconds later he's out like a light and I'm positive he won't remember this, but I will.