Eat or be Eaten

I was working on my United Nations presentation when the doorbell rang. I think nothing of it; it's almost time for dinner, and it's not unusual for a sibling or two to join us unexpectedly. They forget their keys somewhere and need Gramps or another to let them in. It has happened enough times since I joined the family. It rings again. Soon after, Dick can be heard yelling, " I got it!" It's quiet for a moment, then Dick screams, " Dad! Your Baby Mama's here!" 

I freeze, my core buzzing erratically. ' Mother? Mother—Mother is here?' I'm stuck in my seat, unable to move, unsure what to do. Should I run, hide, or say hello? ' How do you greet your almost murderer?' I feel the pounding of fast footsteps shaking the manor. I need to move. It's not safe. ' I'm shaking; why am I shaking?' I wonder, feeling my body move without my consent. 

"—yal, Danyal," a voice tries to get my attention. A familiar hand is on me. " Danyal, Ahki, brother," I realize it's Dami. 

" Mother is here," I whisper in horror. 

" I heard," Dami remarks numbly, "Richard's exclamation was quite clear." 

" What am I supposed to do?" I whisper, " I-I can't see her, Dami, I can't, she's–" 

" Calm down, Ahki," Dami steadies me, " Mother... Mother has calmed down since your… incident. Baba won't let anything happen to us. You are safe. We are safe."

I slowly let out a shaky breath, " Can't I just stay up here? I don't want to see her." 

" I doubt it…" Dami trails off, " Think of this as practice for upcoming meetings and trials with enemies. You can do this, Danyal." 

" Father would be in the room? You?" I ask, calming down.

" Of course," Dami says vehemently. 

" Young masters," Gramps calls up the stairs, and we leave the room. Dinner is ready… we have a… guest." Damian and I meet Gramps at the stairs. He looks at us sadly, "Your mother has arrived."

" We heard," I say, " is Baba down there yet?" 

Gramps nods, "As well as Young Master Dick, and I assume the rest of your siblings won't be far behind. The Young Master was notifying them of this development." 

" Any chance you could pretend we're not here?" I ask Gramps. 

" No, you already agreed to come down with me. Let's go see Mother," Dami says, taking my hand and pulling me down the stairs. We head into the dining room to see Baba at the head of the table, Mother on one side, Dick on the other. Dami goes to Dicks side and skips a seat, letting me sit between them. 

Mothers – Damis' – eyes stare at me, scrutinizing me, " you look well, Danyal." 

" Thank you, Mother," I say tensely. 

" Which is such a shame," Mother says, continuing as if I hadn't spoken. " Your miraculous survival has ruined my objective record." 

I shrug, "You should have known better to engage in a fool's venture." 

" How dare you," Mother snarls, " I am your mother–" 

" One that pushes children into canyons," Dick says, cutting her off, " the fact that you have the gull to call yourself a mother at all is astounding." 

" Beloved–" Mother says, starting to turn to Baba. 

Baba just huffs, " he's a grown man, dick can speak as he pleases," which is bat speak for, 'Was he lyin tho?' Mother pouts a little as no one is on her side. Gramps brings out dinner, which starts the most awkward family dinner of the century ( if you were to ask Clockwork, they would say it makes the top 50). 

After a few minutes of silence, Dami asks, "Is there a purpose to your visit, Mother?" 

She nods as she swallows her food, " I have come to retrieve your spare. Your refusal to act as Father's heir has left the position open. Danyal is your replacement. He will fulfill his intended duty." 

I spit out the water I'm drinking and laugh, almost cackling, " You think I'm just going to waltz away back to that hell hole? Mother, you're delusional. Delulu. Why would I want to act as heir to a man who already attempted to have me assassinated? I am not that stupid. Mother, when it comes down to it, I want nothing to do with you." 

" Danyal," Mother admonishes, " you have a duty to the league–" 

" No, I don't," I argue, " you and Grandfather relieved me of it as soon as you agreed to the hit on me." 

" That was years ago," Mother says, brushing that off. " You're still here, and that's all that matters." 

I go quiet, ' still here' ringing in my ears. ' What would she say if she knew otherwise?' I wonder, knowing I can never tell her, but ask her anyway, "And if I wasn't? Would you be having this conversation with Damian? Dragging him away from his position as Robin? From his life as Damian Wayne? Would you be so cruel to pull away your kid, your baby, from a safe, loving environment?" 

"That's different," Mother says.

" Is it different because it's him in this hypothetical situation? Instead of me? Does the fact that this is the reality for me you are trying to create change anything?" I ask. 

Mother says haughty," Damian was sent in the first place to Gotham to expand his skills; you attached yourself like a parasite–" 

" Hey!" Dick exclaims, pissed, but Mother, as usual, ignores his existence. 

" You have yet to put down roots. You can still fade into nothing, just a blip of history. You have yet to join your Father in his nightly crusade. Damian has joined him; those not of his blood have joined him, but you? You have yet to race across the rooftops and be introduced to Gotham's underbelly. Danyal. Your place is not here. Preferably, your presence wouldn't exist anywhere, but because of your inability to die right, we are still stuck with you. You will return with me. Your father has made your brother's position in Gotham clear. You are still an outsider. If the demon's head demanded the return of his heir, we retrieve him–". 

" Grandfather hasn't ordered my return?" I, as Danyal, not Danny, ask, narrowing my eyes. 

" Not yet–" 

" Then I take it, this is you requesting?" I ask for clarification. 

Mother nods, " Best to return willingly than forcefully." 

" I will not be honoring your request," I say diplomatically. 

Mother says, bewildered, " No? You are refuting me?" 

" Obviously," says Dick. 

" I was not speaking to you!" Mother spits at Dick, " Danyal, it is time to come home before your Grandfather demands it." 

" To set myself up for another attempt?" I scoff." Mother, you seem to forget I am not a naive five-year-old. I'm not going with you, not even for a trillion dollars." 

" Your Grandfather will eventually know," Mother says, " what is your plan for when the league invades Gotham for your head? Your father and his crusaders don't have what it takes to take a life–"

" And your merry band of do-gooders have no restraint," I fire back, " You'll find that it's harder to fight with restraint than with none. Instead of trying to negotiate, all you do is take the easy way out. Regardless, I'm not in the business of letting others fight my battles–" 

"You will be overwhelmed–" 

" It almost sounds like you care," I say mockingly, cooing. " However, regardless of whom is sent, I will be fine." 

"Overconfidence will get you killed," Mother warns. 

" And your arrogance will be your downfall," I say, rising from his seat, "Mother, whomever you or Grandfather sends will leave Gotham in one way: a body bag." 

" You don't have the nerve. You always have been soft- weak," She says, rising to meet me.

" And this is your only and last warning from me, Talia Al-Ghul, Daughter of the demon. If I see even a glance of a blade, your agent is done for. I don't kill innocents, but all of you are anything but. Talia, it has been horrible to see you. I hope when you pass, it's fast and quick," that's a ghostly insult. It means the ghost thinks they don't deserve a conscious afterlife. " Baba, I'm going on a walk," I say, storming out of the room. 

I head upstairs instead of out the front door. I wait until I'm in private before turning into Phantom and flying out of the house. ' How dare she!' I think as I float amongst the fog. ' She shows up out of the blue, wanting me to leave!' The whole situation just makes me mad. I can't help but wonder, 'How can somebody that leaves you, that tries to hurt you, come into your home, into your face, and try to control you?' 

It's baffling. 

Due to my absent-mindedness, I continue to float up into the air and out of Earth's atmosphere. 

I go to the moon. 

I sit on the edge of a crater and breathe. Just breathe. Well as close as a ghost gets to breathing. As I calm down, my brain, the way I think, shifts. During dinner, my brain switched to Danyal mode. The authority figure, the assassin, not Danny the Ghost boy or small-time hero. ' Damn it,' I think, rubbing my face. 

He hates doing that. 

Being confrontational. 

Falling into stereotypes… it's hard to feel comfortable with emotions when the show of them has been vilified. I stay there for a while, but once a glowing green figure starts coming closer, I know it's time to go. I love space and its inhabitants. However, I'm not in the mood to deal with a Green Lantern. Carefully, I reenter Gotham's airspace and float back to earth. I start to head home when my stomach growls, 'Ah… I guess I didn't really eat, now did I?' After a moment of consideration, I find a private area, turn human, and walk to the closest Bat Burger. I order to go, and start on my way home eating my fries. ' Walking through Gotham at night isn't as bad as people make it out to be–' Slam.

I receive a heavy blow to the back of my head; I stumble, eyes unable to focus. I pivot to see a flash of purple and green before being slammed into again, with a mallet, to the side of my head. The impact knocks me to the ground; my eyes feel heavy as a high-pitched cackle reverberates in the street. The figure drags me to a van and stuffs me into the trunk. I don't resist, still trying to settle myself. ' Damn,' I think, wincing as we go over a pothole, ' they hit as hard as Frighty.' Not many of my subjects are willing to spar with me in human form these days, realizing their King is ' squishy,' Fright Knight and Pandora being among the few outside of my typical rogues. However, unlike the rogues, the two ancients are always careful to watch their strength.' For a normal human, he hits pretty hard…" My line of thought trails off as the car stops. 

A man in a mask opens the trunk to see me looking up at him, " fuck, Bill, he's awake." 

" Whatcha tellin' me for?" Bill says, walking off to have a smoke. 

The man sighs, pulls out a rag, and holds it down over my face; it's chloroform. I "fight" or "struggle" getting "knocked out." I struggle to keep my body limp as I'm roughly tossed to the ground. I'm dragged over jagged gravel and glass, and it tears into my back, shredding my shirt. Thankfully, it's only for a while. Soon enough, I'm maneuvered like a rag doll into a metal folding chair, feet tied to the legs of the chair, and arms placed behind me tied together and connected to my feet with a rope; then, as a finishing touch, they add a blindfold. 

They leave, and it's quiet for a few moments before the scraping of something metal approaches. A giddy chuckling laugh, the same one from the street, drags whatever it is into the room. They hum to themselves and let out an occasional giggle as they flutter around the room. 

"Welcome friends, future victims, to my Arkham Escape party!" the unmistakable voice of the Joker says. " It's been a few months since I've been out to play," he grabs onto the back of my hair, " and unlike the rest of you, I haven't had the time to greet Wayne's newest birdie, but luckily for me," the blindfold is taken off, revealing a tripod setup, they're live streaming, " he couldn't resist running into good old Uncle J." 

My eyes scan the area; the room is mostly bare except for the metal cart, missing all but one wheel and holding a variety of tools. They're rusted and look like a staph infection waiting to happen. "Nice place ya got here," I snark, " but I don't exactly remember my tour. Would you mind escorting me out of here?" 

" Ah, a birdy with manners!" Joker exclaims with zealous cheer, " Such a rarity nowadays, but no, you haven't had play time yet with Uncle J." He goes towards the tripod, and a string of comments hurries across the screen: " Oh, but what to play?" Joker reads a few comments, "Oh, what beautiful suggestions! But what to choose… hum… so many options… I know any suggestions must include an asking price. If selected, you must submit to my Venmo @ClownPrince_Crime" he mutters, " inflation has been killer lately, commissary prices have been skyrocketing." 

I sit there, unsure what to do. My head is killing me, and I'm having trouble remembering if the league ever trained me for this, being hurt in accordance with the highest bidder. If they hadn't, they may want to add that to their training list. 

" That is an… odd request, @_sniff_feet23," Joker says with a weird inflection. I can see where he gets a Venmo notification for $100. Joker must have noticed, too, because he sighs, "Oh well, can't deny a paying customer," and unties a shoe. Joker exposes a foot. The skin is cracked, and the smell permeates the room. The nails are yellow and have visible toe jam buildup. Joker brings his foot into the frame of the camera and wiggles his toes. 

" Dude, put those away," I say, wrinkling my nose. " Nobody wants to see your dogs…well, except that, dude, you're crusty." 

Joker turns towards me with a scowl on his face. "After I complimented you on manners, you say something like that," he shakes his head. " It looks like your Daddy remains lacking in discipline." 

I shake my head. " If anyone's lacking, it is Arkham, man. It's obvious you've got an infection, like, whoa, that smell, athlete's foot for days, not to mention the nails." Joker inches closer to the pile of tools. " Don't they have health insurance?" Annoyed, Joker makes a swipe at me with a scalpel. It catches the helix of my ear, cutting through a few centimeters of skin and causing a noticeable split. 

" Can't you shut up!" Joker practically growls. 

" I mean, I could," I shrug, " but what's the fun in that?" 

" You're ruining your auction–" Joker gets cut off by another Venmo notification, $150, titled 'Not You, Wayne' once again from @_sniff_feet23; Joker reads it out for everyone. 

" Ew dude," I make a face, " how 'bout no? Don't drag me into your weird fetishes." 

Even Joker looks weirded out, but he goes through with it, " A paying customer is a customer." Joker takes off my shoes and socks and puts my feet in the frame. Joker looks at the comments, deciding what to do. "Hum… @Bananapeels_nail_art is requesting nails... $20 for a full nail… how about the whole set?" Soon, $400 gets added to Joker's account. Joker goes to put down the scalpel but stops, tilting his head in thought until clarity shines through his eyes, " ah, that's what I've forgotten," with a face-splitting smile, he straddles me and pulls at my face, picking his placement, carving a J into my cheek, right under my eye. 

I don't move, don't scream, but smile. So far, this is nothing. The Joker can't break what's already been broken. This is nothing compared to that day, the Fentons, the basement. The way the cameras are positioned, it can't see my facial expressions, but the Joker? He gets a face full of slightly too-sharp teeth, holding back a hysterical laugh. 

It's unnerving. 

Something about my expression cuts into the Joker. He slaps me across the face hard, and a tooth comes out due to the force. It just causes my smile to stretch. Joker staggers back, and a slight chill creeps into the room. The video starts to lag, but as soon as my face comes back into focus, things go back to normal, except for the quality of the video. It goes down, becoming fuzzy, but that bothers none of the Jokers' deranged viewers. 

I allow my discomfort to shine through as Joker pulls out my nails with pliers, wincing and biting my lip. ' Superficial,' I remind myself, ' so far, all injuries have been superficial.' While thankful for that, it also causes some distress; thinking about Jason and other Joker victims, they weren't so lucky. In an effort to distract myself, I pay attention to the comments. 

@Do_the_butts_match 

How long till Batman gets there? He doesn't look too good. Has anyone seen the Bats and Birds? 

@Goonion_reps

The Goonion has no responsibility for actions perpetrated by the Joker this evening. Any complaints can be taken to HR at Gotham_Goons@hotmail.com 

@Waynes>Kardashians 

@Do_the_butts_match they're not in south Gotham

@Metropolis_sucks

Hood's not in the ally, so there's at least one looking for him

@Glassclosset

He's not moving. Do you think he's in shock?

@Metropolis_sucks

Wouldn't be surprised

@Guys_In_White

How much for the tooth?

@USER25B_B

Hold on, Danyal, they're still looking

Joker is now behind me, finishing off the rest of my nails; there are only three left. I lean back and try to look at the clown to watch him work. I expand my ghostly, eldritch aura, suffocating Joker. Knowing the living, especially those in need of punishment, find it uncomfortable. Joker goes for another nail but stops as a new Venmo notification from @Riddlemethis, $10, ' He's not very receptive.' 

" Did you really just waste ten bucks to get noticed?" I question, voice a little strained. 

Joker looks at the notification, " I know. Where's the singing? The begging? The pizzazz?!"

I joke under my breath, mockingly, "Notice me, sempai, notice me." 

Unfortunately, I wasn't speaking low enough. The Joker pulls on my hair, "What did I say about side comments?" Joker grabs his trusty scalpel.

" Nothing? You said to shut up, but–" Joker launches his attack, going for the throat. This time, I expected the fast, erratic movement, twisting away from the clown. Instead of cutting through my throat, he goes through my collarbone and continues to my sternum. I spit at him, "All this is because I didn't want my fries Jokerized? I get branding, but no need to be a bitch about it." 

Joker gets enraged at my backtalk, cutting along my ribs. " How's this for backtalk?" 

" Not very stimulating," I gasp as I realize, ' he clipped my lung.' 

Joker goes for his trusty crowbar. " Batsy second birdie never told me which is better," he raises his arm. " Forehand," a loud crunch echoes as my knee is shattered, " or backhand." Joker goes up and knocks into my chin, fracturing my jaw. Joker crackles, "Not so mouthy now, Birdy?" 

Okay, now that hurt. 

I flood the room slowly with otherness, the chill of the dead. I expertly dislocate my thumbs, sliding through the restraints while glaring at the clown. " It's a shame you try so hard; it's pathetic," the rope falls to the floor. " For a clown, you're not very funny." 

Joker doesn't notice the falling rope.

But others do

@FOR_GOTHAM 

Guys the rope

@I_LIVE_IN_THE_SHADOWS

Be careful kid

@Do_the_butts_match

Bury your comments, don't let Joker see

Joker gets into my face, causing me to tip back in my chair. The slack of the rope allows it to come undone around my feet. " Funny," Joker seethes. " I'll show you funny." Joker turns around, exposing his back. 

I rise, shutting the chair on his way up, and raise it. Joker turns back around with pliers just in time to be cracked in the jaw with the flying hunk of metal. Joker falls to the ground, not expecting the impact. I drag the chair behind me as I ready my next swing, "Funny? I'll show you funny." The camera blurs further as my eyes flash a swirling greenish-red and beat Joker with a chair, not once but thrice. I can't help the slightly sadistic look in my eyes as I bring the chair down one last time, " get wrecked." 

Jokers down for the count. 

@Only_in_Gotham

#OnlyinGoham does a hostage beat up his kidnapper

@Gotham_Gazzet

This just in– Danny Wayne fights against his captor– his weapon of choice might surprise you

@FOR_GOTHAM

This would do so well on Vine 

I hobble towards the torture cart and grab some chains in a marker. I hog ties the man and chains them to a pipe, " Who's laughing now?" Before leaving him, I draw on his face, giving him a mustache, and whiskers, then draw a penis on his face, and lastly, leaving a stylized D on his face. 

I limp, a bloody fractured mess, to the tripod, " I'ma go home now, night," and shut it off. I pass a few goons on my way out, but none of them approach.

" Damn it," I say halfway down the street, realizing, " I never got to eat my burger." 

If I hobbled to Bat Burger before heading home, that's no one's business but my own. 

Jazz: Daniel James Fenton!

Jazz: Oh my god

Jazz: Are you okay? 

Danny: First, Danyal, not Daniel, and 2nd, nothing I haven't handled before

Danny: Thanks for checking in

Jazz: Of course. Love you, little brother