Chapter 11: Retreat

After losing my left arm and my only friend, I was mildly put, not in my best condition. I attended the general classes and kept mostly to myself. I skipped most of my electives though. Agatha still didn't want to spar with me, telling me to find my balance. Screw her! And Culinary Cultivation was out of the question because fuck Rose. Botany Club didn't start yet. Only History of Cultivation was tolerable to me. I currently sat in a lecture about ancient cultivators in the age of the great calamity.

The professor looked as old as his subject as if he witnessed the chaotic age first hand. "Mankind lived in extraordinary luxury. Machines toiled for them like the workers in the Golden Crow Plant or like the felons in the mines. Their pride and slothfulness led to their downfall. The great calamity descended. Who can tell me: what was the great calamity?"

Expectantly the professor's eyes searched through its bushy eyebrows for someone eager to answer. The lecture hall was neither full nor sparsely visited. While the subject wasn't exactly the most exciting it was beloved by sects and cooperations. That was why the course was always lively, although not quite lively.

Three people held up their hands. He chose a bushy-haired girl in the front row. "No one remembers exactly what happened at the great calamity but everyone knows it brought the mecha beasts into the world. Which had the most serious repercussions."

Who cared about history if the future was looking grim. My debts did not decrease at all, making my premature exit out of the school more and more realistic. The executioner was already waving at me expecting to have my head soon. It was only polite to wave back.

"Yes, Miss Song?" The professor called on me. He must have mistaken my waving for me having a question.

"Ah, n-no. It was nothing." I said while marveling at the flooring.

"Well, where was I? Right, yes there are many theories concerning what exactly happened at the great calamity. But one thing is for sure that every catastrophe, no matter how dark, leaves a little light for mankind. In this case, it was the dawn of cultivation. Exiled from their own cities, far from their intricate machines and tools, they had to turn inward for strength. Some few chosen ones were able to manifest awesome powers. Nowadays, we call them bio-cultivators."

Awesome powers? Yeah, right. They didn't save me. And now even they left me like everyone else. Powerless and friendless, truly a disappointment for my ancestors.

"But the ingenuity of mankind quickly caught up. They emulated the powers with the help of cyber interfaces, allowing everyone to cultivate. Some say it was the Emperor himself who taught humans cultivation in the first place others said he provided us with the cyber interfaces. All we know for sure is that he led humankind to the second age of prosperity."

Prosperity huh? I sighed regularly by now. Auntie would say that all my luck would leave my body that way. But I think there was no good fortune left in me to lose. And who believed in luck anyway? It never visited. I'd have invited it to tea and cake, maybe even macarons, the expensive kind. I was again caught up in my thoughts, not paying attention to the class.

"... Please write your thought on what enabled mankind to cultivate in a short essay. See you in two weeks. Enjoy your holidays!"

Holidays!? I forgot all about them! I really became a true cultivator. Living in my own bubble. Thinking only about myself. Holidays meant spending time with family, eating soft-boned heavenly turkey, playing board games, watching bad movies on the feed, all in all, fun times. It meant I get to go home, leaving this accursed city.

When I left the lecture hall I called Auntie. "Hey Meadow, what's up?"

"Hello Auntie, spring holidays start tomorrow. Can I come home?"

"Home!?" Aunties deep voice suddenly got a lot shriller. "You just arrived. Don't you want to spend some time with your friends? You know, to bond, have some fun."

"No." I shook my head even though she couldn't see me.

"Do you need money? I can send you some spending money. I bet the prices in the city are sky-high.

"No."

"Meadow? Are you alright?" Worry touched her voice.

"I don't think so, Auntie. Please can I come home? I just want to come home, please." I tried not to sob.

"S-sure! Tell me when you are on your way, okay? I'll pick you up." She hurriedly answered.

"I'm coming now, Auntie."

"N-now!? Don't you have to pack your things?"

"No."

"Jeez, girl. Alright. Take care, will you?"

"Okay, I will."

"Clint, move your ass! My niece is coming back!"

"Auntie, are YOU alright?"

"Yeah, yeah! It's nothing really" Suddenly a male voice was shouting from the background, "…Haze, do you know where my trousers are? I can't find them!"

"I see you're, uhm, taken care of. See ya later, Auntie!" I hastily hung up. Not something I wanted to know, thank you very much.

It was an impulsive decision but I couldn't go back to my dorm, back to the loneliness. I wanted to go home, now. At first, I walked, then I jogged, and lastly, I ran towards the bus station. My momentum was stopped when I noticed that the bus wasn't there yet. I slumped into a bench.

This city was killing me. All those people, all this glamour were shit in my eyes. What did it matter if I experienced it on my own? Neither joy nor sadness could I share. I began to doubt if these emotions were real. Run away, Meadow. That was all that I could do. That was all I wanted to do.

The sapphire blue bus arrived, without hesitation, I entered, eager to be home as fast as possible.