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[HxH] Cards X Stitches

After his final battle against a hoard of giant mouths, which ended with him being eaten by one of those said mouths , Suzuya Juzou, formerly known as number 13 and the Dragon General, found himself transported to a world where ghouls don't exist. (Supposedly) He still wasn't sure what to make of the situation but, before he could process anything, he was told that he was somehow participating in an exam. But, what exactly are Hunters? (Contains BL, Crack, and Dark Undertones) Hisoka x Juzou

LordOfRot · Anime e quadrinhos
Classificações insuficientes
6 Chs

Keep on Running

"Number 13. Your number badge, sir. Please keep it on for the duration of the exam." As soon as he arrived at the testing site for the Hunter Exam, a green bean came up to him, handing him a number card which Juzou promptly pinned to his chest.

Thirteen?

Juzou tilted his head in confusion upon realizing there were only 12 other applicants in the room with him. He sort of expected a lot more than this since the examiner who led him here seemed to look like he was in a rush.

He even thought he was already late.

After he passed the examiner's test, with the examiner having pretended to be a helpless citizen needing to be saved from being attacked by an armored bear, he was quickly led to the real testing location which happened to be hidden under a normal steak house.

He was quite lucky to have accidentally found the examiner or else he'd never have figured it out on his own. Investigation was never his forte.

Well, better early than late. He'd have to thank the examiner when he sees him next time. Fortunately, his test was quite easy. He only had to defeat the bear which was no problem for him who was used to fighting off ghouls.

But Juzou didn't know that armored bears' overall stats would increase by 10 times during mating season and even most Beast Hunters would have to avoid encountering them at that time.

Unfortunately, spring just happened to come much earlier than expected this year.

Unknown to him, the beast going crazy was not part of the examiner's plan and, Juzou saving him garnered the examiner's gratitude who eventually decided to lead Juzou straight to real exam's site without going through the other tests. Hence, the reason why Juzou arrived so early.

You could imagine the examiner's reaction after the armored bear was beheaded in just one move by a 'kid' who didn't even have access to nen when it would've taken atleast ten professional beast hunters to take it down normally.

Choosing to find a quiet corner to sit and act mysterious, Juzou hugged his bag to his chest, his Jason leaning on the wall as he quietly ate his lemon wafers.

In the background, a poor man suddenly clutched his stomach painfully after drinking a soda handed to him by a pudgy man, muttering something about needing to go to the bathroom.

As the poor man ran past Juzou, a soda can fell to the ground and rolled towards him. Absentmindedly, Juzou kicked the can away, grabbing a pair of headphones from his bag. It had light-up cat ears!

There were 8 hours left until the beginning of the exam. He'd have to wait for quite a while so, for the meantime, he'd find some way to keep himself entertained.

Like sharpening his 66 throwing knives while listening to chaotic music.

[I am in misery~

I save dick by giving it CPR~

REESE'S PUFFS, REESE'S PUFFS~]

"Eat em up, eat em up, eat em up, eat em up!"

Slowly, the other applicants began to inch away from the boy with strange music leaking from his headphones.

"Hey!"

Or maybe he could try to see if he could sketch all of the ghouls he encountered in the past. The one called Uta had some cool tattoos. There was also Haise who later became the one-eyed king. Maybe he could try drawing the two generations of Owls.

"Hey, kid!"

Perhaps he could try to help this pudgy man in front of him to find the person he was calling for. Might be the same guy who went looking for a bathroom.

"Hey, kid with the multiple hair clips!"

It was then that Juzou realized that the pudgy man was actually calling him.

Because he was the only one in this tunnel who wore hair clips.

Indeed, he was wearing seven hair clips at once. As a young man who just realized that he no longer had to abide to any work related dress codes, he made sure to follow his own views in fashion and wore what he wanted and did his stitches the way he wanted but never had the chance to.

"Hmm~ Did you need something?" Curiously, Juzou tilted his head, not knowing why this strange man came up to him when he was sure he'd never seen the man before.

Number 16.

It seemed that a few more people arrived during the time he was daydreaming.

"You seem new. First time taking the exam?" Speaking with a smile, the man walked up to Juzou. He seemed to be friendly but, something about him set Juzou's nerves on edge. Not enough to feel dangerous, but enough to make him feel mildly uncomfortable. "Name's Tonpa. Nice to meet'cha."

"Juzou. It's my first time~" For now, Juzou smiled carefreely, wanting to know what exactly this slimy looking man was planning before taking action. Even though he seemed to be focusing on their conversation, the pitying glances the other applicants gave him didn't escape his eyes.

It seemed this Tonpa had a lot of fame. Or was it infamy instead?

"It's my 35th time here, actually! So you can say I'm a bit of an expert when it comes to the Hunter Exam." Tonpa said proudly, as though it was a great achievement.

"Hoh~ Taking the same exam 34 times without passing once is really amazingly pathetic." Juzou commented in genuine wonder. "You're really quite something to be able to achieve that, Tonpa-san!"

"Haha..." Tonpa laughed awkwardly but the corner of his eyes kept twitching in irritation. It seemed he had to end this conversation quickly or else he might break his cover the more he spoke with this kid. "Well, anyways, I wish you good luck in the exam."

"Here, a toast to our new friendship." Reaching to his bag, Tonpa grabbed a canned soda which he handed to Juzou, his smile turning into a fox-like grin for a split second before reverting back to the faux friendly expression he seemed to be so fond of using.

Ah, here it is. This was probably his main motive in approaching him.

Focusing his red eyes on Tonpa, Juzou leaned back on the wall behind him, caressing his Jason in hand as Tonpa's expression began to crack upon the sight of the gigantic weapon which seemed so disproportionate with it's tiny wielder.

"Ah, sorry~ I don't really drink poison." Juzou smiled playfully as the dull end of his Jason tapped Tonpa's shoulder. "Maybe next time."

Eyes shaking as he saw the blade's sharp edge so close to his neck, Tonpa's whole body froze, cold sweat dripping from all over his body.

From the background several people snickered, taking joy upon Tonpa's situation.

It spoke a lot about the pudgy man's sour reputation.

As soon as Juzou pulled his Jason back, Tonpa immediately ran away with a fearful expression, nearly falling on his ass twice.

Seeing the pudgy man's embarrassment, Juzou chuckled to himself. "Being away from responsibilities for too long is making my old habits act up."

Pushing his headphones back on, Juzou continued on his loner career, deciding to waste the rest of the waiting time by painting his nails with the anti-chipping nail polish he bought in Yorknew City.

Now to decide the color. Not like he had many to choose from anyways since he only had black and red.

"... I miss Haise." Juzou muttered absentmindedly. "Let's go with black."

Just like that, time began to pass as Juzou focused on actually getting the nail polish on his nails instead of all over his fingers.

It was much harder than he expected, but he somehow managed... In two hours. Well, he did paint his toenails too during that time. He had so much time left till the beginning of the exam so he thought he might as well do them too.

Finally finished, Juzou heaved a sigh of relief, stretching his limbs which had long gotten stiff from being curled up in an awkward position for a long time.

Hmm? Why is it so quiet here?

Now, that he began to take note of the surroundings, he started to notice something strange.

Why is everyone on the other side of the tunnel?

Filled with confusion, Juzou looked to the side, instantly noticing a pair of legs blocking his way out of his corner seat. Slowly, his eyes trailed up, from the black jester shoes, loose white pants, strange crop top, tear and star makeup, gold eyes, and finally, intricately styled hair.

He didn't know how long the man had been standing there but, judging from the intrigued gaze the man had as he looked at him, he could be sure that the man purposely came to him.

If Lady Gaga's songs were a person, then this man is probably what it would look like. That was the vibe he gave him.

"I can't decide whether your hair is pink or red." Juzou blurted out, eyes devoid of any other purpose than to purely point it out.

"What a coincidence~ I can't decide whether your eyes are red or pink!" The man said back with a mischievous smile.

This guy is going to be fun. Unknown to anyone, both of them actually had the same exact thought at this moment.

"I'm Juzou~"

"Hisoka~ Pleasure to meet you~"

...

"AAAaaAahHhh!!! Muh- My Arms!!!"

It was unknown to Juzou when he had fallen asleep. The only thing he knew was waking up to the blood-curdling scream of a man who had his arms turned into bloody flower petals and was currently in a daze as he watched those exact flowers petals flying in the air with some of them landing on or around him.

"Behold~ Now you see them, now you don't. No tricks involved~♠️" With squinted eyes, Juzou spotted Hisoka standing in the middle of the crowd, presenting the armless man like a show prop. "You really should be careful. And apologize when you bump into someone~♠️"

This guy can speak in symbols...

"Well, he seems to be having fun~" Juzou smiled as he began to clap amidst the shocked gazes of the other applicants.

"It was a good magic trick~" He said honestly, as though it were the most natural thing to do in the situation.

"Fufu~♦️" Smiling playfully, Hisoka turned towards his only enthusiastic audience and gave a grand bow. "Why, thank you for your praise~"

As the crowd began to disperse, Hisoka went towards Juzou and casually sat beside him as though he hadn't just given someone a surprise amputation moments before.

"Hmm~ How curious, you've been sitting in that same position for 7 hours or so. Are you managing well?" Hisoka gave Juzou a curious glance as he began to shuffle his cards.

Oh, that's why his back was hurting. He had actually been sleeping but, no one needed to know that.

"I'm fine~ I'm already used to sitting alone in one place for a long time." Mainly during the days when he was supposed to do his paperwork.

Though, by the vague look on Hisoka's face, he seemed to have misunderstood what Juzou meant.

Looking away awkwardly, Juzou missed the tangled look Hisoka gave him, only to spot a familiar pudgy man handing his poisoned drinks to three newcomers.

"Heehh~ He's even targeting children? How vile of him." Juzou commented but made no move to interfere. Watching quietly as a little boy in green immediately spat out the drink. "Hehe, that one has good instincts~"

Looking towards where Juzou's attention was, Hisoka chuckled with faint interest. It seemed that there were still a few people with potential here.

Unfortunately, he already had his eyes on another big apple~

Casting his gaze back to the person beside him, Hisoka smiled strangely, causing the nearby applicants to shudder in fear.

87/100. That was Juzou's current score without the knowledge of nen. Ah~ Just thinking about how much it would increase once he unlocked nen was making Hisoka restless with impatience.

But, he had to endure. The biggest fruits tasted best when they were fully ripe after all.

Meanwhile, Tonpa who had started to feel irritated from his lack of success in targeting newbies this year began to mutter to himself.

"What's with this year's newbies, each of them are weirder than the other!"

SKKRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Suddenly, with a loud ringing sound, all applicants turned to look towards a single direction. There, atop one of the overhead pipes, stood a lavender haired man with a mustache but, strangely, no visible mouth.

"The time for the reception is over." The man spoke, mustache wriggling in an interesting manner. "Now, the exam can begin."

He seems like a cool fellow. Out of all the men he'd seen, Juzou was sure that this man had the most well-maintained mustache of all.

Even Tsukiyama could never, and the man(ghoul) didn't even have a mustache.

"This way please." The man hopped down the pipe and led the applicants towards a tunnel which was previously a wall.

"We'll start with a short verification. The Hunter Exam is extremely difficult. Sometimes people could end up injuring themselves or simply die..." Speaking as though he were reciting a pre-recorded script, his voice travelled through the tunnel, effectively hushing the chatter. "There are things that simply can't be avoided. Now, if you still wish to continue-"

The man began to walk deeper into the tunnel. "Then, please follow me."

Unsurprisingly, no one backed out. But, really, who would quit now when it took so much effort just to get here?

Except maybe Juzou since he didn't even know what he was doing here.

In any case, all 404 applicants followed the examiner.

But, suddenly, just as the applicants were still hesitant, the examiner suddenly began to increase his pace, legs elongating and shortening in a strange manner.

"Oh, I have nearly forgotten. I am Satotz, the examiner for the first round." The examiner spoke as the applicants began to run in order to catch up to him. "I will now lead you to the second round."

So, it's an endurance test! Juzou thought to himself, preparing for a drawn out run.

"The second round? Which means the first round-" A bald ninja asked, submitting to his confusion.

"It has already begun. If you manage to follow me to where the second round stands, you'd have passed the test." Satotz informed. "I cannot tell you where or when we will arrive. Your task is to be able to follow me until then."

So a mental and physical endurance. That would surely cut out the participants with weak mentalities.

Jogging leisurely, Juzou began to look at the other contestants, paying attention to the more interesting looking ones.

Hmm, that baldy 294 is interesting. The way he's running is very peculiar. It's like he's more used to running in terrain with a lot obstacles. The way he places his feet with his heels lightly raised and leaving his knees bent and never straightening it fully reveals his expertise in sprinting and allows him to be able to change directions instantly with little difficulty even when running at high speeds.

That nail man 301 is probably used to secretive work like espionage or assassinations. If the nails he had all over his body didn't keep clicking, you wouldn't even notice he was there. Every action he does is methodical and clean. There was no extra movements that would give away his mental state or personality. It was more accurate to call him a robot than a person.

103, snake man. Even though he had his body fully covered, Juzou was quite positive he heard hissing noises when he ran past him previously. He didn't seem particularly suited to stamina and endurance related practices judging from how he was already sweating earlier. But, there was a certain arrogant glare in his eyes which said he'd reach the end even if he'd have to run on pure pride alone.

Finally, there was 99, skateboard kid. Somehow, something about him made Juzou feel like him and 301 were related. There was just something about their dark aura that was so similar. But, other than aura, nothing else was similar. Not their looks, personality, or bearing. Anyways, this kid seems to be the arrogant type who probably never had friends before. Problematic family too, probably.

With a curious gaze, Juzou began to survey his fellow competitors, taking the exam seriously despite not exactly knowing what it was for.

He had never participated in a competition before aside from that one apple-eating game the CCG did during New Years, so he was planning on performing well at whatever this was.

In any case, he did become Dragon General at one point in his life and it wouldn't be good if the General would lose to something like this.

Oh, was that Tonpa? It is Tonpa! Let's break him!

And just like that, all serious thoughts immediately flew away.

Discretely, Juzou extended the tip of Jason's handle towards Tonpa's legs, succeeding in tripping the man. With his running speed working against him along with the weight of his fat body, it caused him to fall flat on his face and skid some more distance forward.

Juzou then proceed to hop and stomped heavily on Tonpa's ankle.

Crack!

"AAaAggGhh! My foot!!"

Oof. He might have stepped on it heavier than intended. With the sound as loud as that, he was sure that his ankle was either seriously sprained or fractured by now. Ah, who really cares though?

"Oops~ It was an accident." He said, but the ill-intentioned smile he wore said otherwise.

Unknowingly, a certain clown who was running right behind him saw the entire thing play out and raised an eyebrow in interest, covering the strange smile on his lips with a card as he chuckled to himself. "It's really getting more and more interesting~"

Click.

Somehow, amidst the loud chatter of the other applicants and their heavy footfalls, Juzou still managed to hear the quiet click of a needle falling to the ground and paused.

Hmm? That needle with the yellow ball end sure looks familiar... Hey! Doesn't the purple pineapple guy have those exact needles stuck all over his body? Must be his then~

"Sir, excuse me~ You dropped one of your needles." Thinking nothing else of it, Juzou picked the needle from the ground and jogged towards the strangely clicking purple man.

"Click click click." The man clicked as he watched the approaching boy with emotionless eyes. Realizing that it was indeed his needle in the boy's hand, the man received it with a stiff nod.

"Oh, sorry. I don't speak in clicks." Juzou smiled apologetically. "Well, I'm gonna go ahead, see ya~"

Running towards the front, Juzou threw the strange encounter to the back of his mind, not realizing that he had gained another person's curiosity towards him.

Gradually, Juzou sped past the other applicants with a clown running right behind him, swinging his Jason randomly, dangerously coming close to injuring the other applicants several times.

"Hehe, scythe go Nyoom!" Juzou giggled as he threw his weapon to the air and caught it with extra flair.

"What the hell is going on today? I just saw a clown running in heels and a kid running in flipflops while swinging a scythe..." A random applicant muttered in disbelief.

"Click click click." From beside him, a purple nail man replied.

"WHAT THE FUCK??!!"

I have no idea how to write Juzou as a character so I'm just basing him off of my ADHD demon.

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