Chapter 16 - What About Love? The Real One

"What do you mean?? He was with us when we were sleeping remember??" I almost cried explaining that even if Junkyu wasn't alive.. I know he was here with us. "I get what you mean.. He's still here when you sleep. Of course. He's guiding us even in the night."

From those words.. my head started spinning like crazy. I understand but I don't. It's really complicated, I didn't understand how Jihoon could forget in just one night.. even Hyunsuk did. For now, I'll just have to understand them and then I'll explain everything instead.

"Wait.. tell me what happened first. Everything." I turned to a serious face. "Well, Jeongwoo invited us to his base and I wanted you to come with us so that you can move on.. so we could all move on. Surprisingly, you said yes. Then when we arrived.. we played games and such, and just like what I told you just now, when I mentioned Junkyu's name. You became uneasy and decided to sleep. I apologize. But when you woke up.. you suddenly asked questions related to him, you already know Mashi.. why ask again? that's what I thought." he explained "I knew? When?" I tilted "You don't know? Mr. and Mrs. Kim already told the three of us. Including you, even though you wouldn't believe them at first cause you didn't want that to happen. But it did. What happened to you Mashiho? Why'd you suddenly forgot everything?"

I did not. It's just that, it never happened.

"No, Hyung. Why did you forgot everything." I replied, he got confused "What?" Hyunsuk furrowed his brows "You too, Hyunsuk Hyung. I know I made it more confusing.. but.. can I ask one more question?" I asked "Uh.. sure?" he replied, "Do you know Haruto?"

Junkyu (Soul)

I hope I did the right thing.. they wouldn't bother asking if they didn't know what really happened that night.

"So? You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I flinched when I saw Haruto staring at me while folding his arms "So what? I didn't do that just to be with you anyway." even though I said that with courage, I'm still having goosebumps on the way he stares at me. It's not just a stare, it's the same when I first talked to him. "Watch your words Hyung. I can do whatever I want with you."

is he threatening me?

"Excuse you, this is my soul." he suddenly smiled "Oh really? You think I can't control you just because it's yours? Well.. think again." he just stared at me but I started moving my arms, I couldn't control them. what the.. "Just like I said love, I can do whatever I want with you." I gulped. "Wh-what are you planning t-to do?!"

he smirked

Oh hell naw.

He controlled me and threw me on the bed, "YAH! HARUTO!" he walked closer "What? I just want some fun. Is that wrong?" this kid.. really acting like a child. "You know what? If we're going to be like this, then I regret going with you. You're better than this, I've always thought your nice and can't harm people.. why are you doing this? For what? Love?" he stopped "What else would it be? That's what I've been wanting to have since I was still alive Junkyu!"

a desire of wanting someone to love you and for you to love them.

"I get it, but love is meant for us to give.. not forcing it. You should've talked to me about this before the incident, you can also talk with your relatives.. they can help you too.. they're your family." he let out a tsk "Family? Family that wants me to babysit a teenager until he became an adult and just wants me in their home because of him and because no one will be there for him? Junkyu, you knew. Right? Did you even observe their faces whenever I'm with them? It's like I'm not even part of the family, what the hell did I ever do for them to make me feel like this??"

I gulped after hearing him utter those words. "Well... then, what about love?"

"Love? Hmm.. let me think.." he placed his index finger on the side of his forehead "Ahh, didn't I tell you this already? I.Love.You and nothing will ever change, soon, you'll love me t—" I cut his words off "I meant the real one." he's brows creased "What?" I stood up "Even though you didn't get the love that you wanted.. you did love them right? Your family—"

"I don't consider it as a family."

"Then consider them as humans, they were precious for you too right?" I slowly walked towards him "Remember what you told me while we're watching movies?"

. . . .

"Junkyu hyung!"

"Ey, you're voice sounds excited." Junkyu took the snacks out and went towards Haruto "W-Well.. I've never watched movies with s-someone before.." Haruto scratched his neck "Eh?? No way, how about your cousins?" Junkyu sat down on the couch and placed the snacks on the table upfront "Oum.. uh.. th-they're busy.. they d-don't have time.. so, uh.." Ruto stuttered but stopped once he felt a hand squeezing his. "It's fine, hopefully, they can join you next time right? You can always ask them. Oh, and.. I'm here." Junkyu put out his koala smile and it made Ruto fluster. "T-Thanks.."

"No problem!"

a minute had passed and they're still watching the movie (Ep 9)

"J-Junkyu hyung.." Junkyu heard and looked at Haru "Hm?"

"A-Are you.. uh.. d-do you have any siblings..?" Junkyu smiled "Nope, I'm an only child, actually. Why?" once again, it made Haru fluster with the sudden smiles from the older "Well.. I– I wonder if.. y-your family l-loves you.. and if you l-love them..." Junkyu tilted his head "Hmm.. I do feel that they love me, and I think they know that I love them too."

"B-But, why did they.. leave y-you here? All a-alone.. I saw your expression t-too. You w-were upset." Haruto once again stuttered, like he always do. "Hm.. yeah, I was upset when they didn't go with me and they just left me here.. But, I understand. I know they were busy and they were worried that they won't have time for me, maybe that's why they sent me here.. it's a bigger family. And I, I like it." Junkyu said, "D-Do you still l-love them?" Haru asked "Of course. They're my parents.. My only family."

"Only family....

yeah.."

"Is something wrong?" Junkyu asked "Nothing.. I just.. want to thank you."

"Hm? for what?"

"Since your parents are your only family, you have more reason to love them. Because you don't want to lose them. And for me.. now that they're my family.. my only family that I have left.. I have to love them, even if they don't love me."

Junkyu's eyes widen upon seeing the younger saying his words correctly and not stuttering. Haruto was serious when he was talking.

"Woah," Haru flinched "A-Ah, sorry.." Haru covered himself with a pillow "What are you 'sorry' about? That was the greatest speech I've ever seen without you stuttering." Junkyu clapped his hands and immediately stopped "S-Speech?"

"Eo?" Junkyu titled his head "Ah, yes, kind of. But yeah, and um.. those words.." Junkyu still can't get over at the fact that he saw and heard Haruto without stuttering "W-Why..? was.. was my s-speech wrong?" Haruto covered himself once more with another pillow next to him "Hah? N-No! it's not that.. it's just, you were right. About loving someone even if they don't love you. As long as they're important to you." Junkyu gently took one pillow at a time from Haruto

"Ruto, it's okay to love if it's for the good."

. . . .

"Didn't I tell you that it's okay to love if it's for the good?"

"So? I did what you said. I am loving you for the good." Haruto quickly replied "Yes, for the good if it's real. Real love means caring about the happiness of another person without wanting anything in return." I reached for his hand and got a grip of it. He didn't back away. "If I don't want anything in return, then why don't you just give it to me? Let's just say you love me, Why don't you love me Junkyu?? Why?? Was all the 'I'm here' just a joke? Huh??"

"Haru, I'm sorry..! I– I only see you as my friend.. a little brother, perhaps."

"Well, fuck it! I ain't doing this just to be your friend or your fucking brother!" he threw my hand, causing me to let go of his "Haruto!" I shouted "What?!"

"I-I'm sorry.."