Felice_DURSI

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

I liked it, but it needs a thorough and really good overhaul.

I'll start from the end 😊. Interested in coherence? Look elsewhere.☕ Interested in action? "Hold your nose" and read on.🍺🍺 The entire novel focuses on the advantages She Feng has with his knowledge of the next 10 years and the various ways in which this is undermined. It's a "broken record" that repeats itself dozens of times throughout the novel. Among the various errors: The protagonist is She Feng, but in the game he is known as "Ye Feng"/"Black Flame." Those looking for him in the game search for "Ye Feng"/"Black Flame," not She Feng.

It's made up of two story arcs. In the first, he goes back ten years and starts all over again. Then there's an interlude with the point of view of other characters. In the second, the first story arc is "erased," and he finds himself two days after his dismissal. Thanks to the "butterfly effect," he uses the knowledge he's acquired to rebuild his guild. Do you care about internal coherence? Discard it regardless. Do you want action? Then it might be nice. It's somewhat reminiscent of the movie "The Dukes of Hazzard": the cars make dozens of jumps, when realistically they should crash after the first. If you liked that kind of movie, you'll enjoy this novel.

It seems written more for action than for internal coherence. 😞 Chapter 84. A top-tier guild has an average of 3 gold coins. And these are guilds with thousands of players (if not millions). Gentle Snow's estimate is that Black Flame has exceeded 60 gold coins in earnings. To put it simply, to match Black Flame's earnings, a guild would have to have twenty times the staff of Ouroboros. Or work in an area twenty times richer.

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

...if I understand correctly. 1) The main body bought the lightning ability. It arrived "coinciding" with the purchase, so for me that's it. 2) I think the abilities he can acquire will be revealed over time. 3) I think the princess's abilities will also be explained later. 4) The dragons' acceptance... respect for strength? 5) Rules and exceptions. There could be that too. In another novel, people could acquire one element at a time. The protagonist activated two at a time. For now, it's an enjoyable read.

...for me, it's going well at the moment. It's an unusual choice. Usually, regardless of power, copies are temporary, be it seconds, minutes, or hours. But these clones remain until they are killed or destroyed. Let's see how it goes.

Alternatives to having a wife and children... 1) "The Matrix": the fields where fetuses are grown. 2) "Dredd - I Am the Law". Starting from blood. 3) "An episode of Doctor Who". Also from blood. 4) "Brave New World" (if I remember the title). Created in vitro. 5) "The Sixth Day". Clones are created from DNA.