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Eli_5642

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2024-10-08 JoinedGlobal
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  • Eli_56424 months ago
    Posted

    From what we got it is a really interesting idea but the writing needs to improve, i don't mean this in a bad way for example you use the same words a lot of times like I , I said ,I thought you could next time use stuff like as i said, thinking to my self, doing so basically try and use different words. The second issue was you don't let us find stuff for ourselves for example when Cyrus's dad tanked the fire ball and said "I'm immune" it sounded dry and boring try only hint that he has those abilities aside from these issues it's really good πŸ‘