Daniel_Meira

TFTC

This story has potential, lets go

I haven't even started reading it, but I have to say that this cover is fuukkiinnggg awesome.

I haven't even started reading it, but I have to say that this cover is fuukkiinnggg awesome.

I usually only comment on bad things when the story is completely unbearable or when it is a waste of potential. This time it falls into the second category. The idea is certainly interesting, but there are many inconsistencies that made it impossible to continue the story without having a stroke. The main one was the lack of research and completely illogical things happening. His mother is literally a disgusting pedophile and everyone is very stupid. Anyway, I recommend reading at least 10 chapters to realize the waste of potential. I recommend the author delete this book and rewrite it, but always with the help of another person to advise him to avoid it becoming so unbearable. Usually when we write, we are unable to see our flaws.

What a ridiculous information dump, with a bunch of names that are totally hard to relate to. Also, what kind of narration was that? It was so superficial. I've never seen anything like it. Not to discourage you, author. These were just points that you have to improve, nothing that can't improve with practice. You're already better than almost everyone else on the site, just by posting a story.

Are you telling me that "the existence" became a human? This chapter was a bit confusing. Despite the little story told, I don't see any reason or motive for the facts reported. Part of the power of "the existence" was sealed, then out of nowhere it decided to seal itself in a human and weaken its power??? Another point is that just as the consciousness of any animal and a human being think differently, why would the primordial existence think like a human?

Does the author have diarrhea?

Why hasn't he learned the symbol to open the status yet?

thx for the chap