Pixxie_Mysteria999
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Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthPostedThis story is quite interesting for me to read and I quite liked it. The only problems I have with it are the grammar; everything else is great and keep up with a good work.
This book has been deleted.- Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
This is such a sad chapter but a great one at best, so keep with a good work.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
These three sentences need to be eliminated, and the second one needs to be rewritten as "You'll see for yourself."
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
These two sentences should be eliminated.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Replace exclamation mark with question mark.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Italics, not quotation marks.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Another great chapter.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
The next two dialogues needs to be together.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
All three dialogues needs to be combined in one.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Space
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Delete this
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Space
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Describe Colony Leader Ashley.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
The first chapter is a bit good. Keep up the good work.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Space in "Perception:3."
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Too much of "It was a technique that could turn the body into a..."
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Comma in between "know" and "right," and replace a period with a question mark at the end of the dialogue.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9991mthCommented
Delete this. It's repetitive and unnecessary.
This book has been deleted. - Pixxie_Mysteria9998mthCommentedCh 11 Chapter_11: New Beginning
- Pixxie_Mysteria9998mthCommented
This needs to be split into paragraphs.
"Zaly, you shouldn't have come with us; it's dangerous for a young boy like you to come in a ruin hunting." Bane's dark hair was tied because it was too long, and his beard was shaved to a stubble. "It was the right choice; this kid needs to see the other side of the world. We need this kid to be mature at such a young age," Ragnar said with a cold and quiet tone; he was rather creepy. His eyes were too tired, his eyebags were darker, and more wrinkles showed up in his temple. And on the left side of his cheeks was a huge scar.