_Jacky_writer
I write sometimes mostly fantasy and apocalypse scenarios I usually add a romance but not always the type people expect in the story.
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the city is like a few generations old so the actual logistics are in their infancy. his brother actually works on his logistics and judges cases based on his own viewpoint as is made clear the legal system is a mess so it takes a lot to manage.
hey you ever read wheel of time or some other long series? their fan pages are a whole minefield, also he doesn't he has like a few words or sentences at most past the first few he read. premises are easy and also easy to mess up...
no he literally has a few thousand.
he didn't for a while no.
no much more than 10 volunteered I will go back and check later.
who says he becomes king? who said he will be the one to take the bloodline even if he does? that is for the future
I don't see it here specifically I do plan to rewrite and fix early chapter stuff at 100 chapters. I have gotten a lot of help for my dysgraphia since I started writing and I actually use this as a method of improving.
will fix
it's pretty good the main character is a bit flat but not as obnoxious as some other novels. generic world/setting but an okay execution, the writing itself is pretty good for a webnovel so I would say 7/10 story overall. I would not call it slow burn it just isn't in your face romance. The girl characters aren't written that well it isn't super bad or anything but I do find it weird how the first perspective we get from a woman is complaining about her boobs and crushing on a guy, just keep that in mind for future stories. power scaling is odd not messed up just feels odd, also just a quick point about the jhon chapter 50 million dollars is a lot of money it would make sense if it was yen but even the best artists/writers don't make enough to just give that amount away without serious accounting and financial advice. I like the overall story so much better than the usual stuff but it feels too breezy for the protagonist and he himself is a little underdeveloped not in the sense that he hasn't been developed yet but that his base personality in the story is lacking. add some more character depth, fix the power scaling and maybe revisit how you write certain characters feelings from a technical standpoint and then I would say it's worthy of being a top 20 novel.
it's... okay I guess, the writing itself is good as in the grammar and structure. updates seem okay but honestly I don't care about update rate, world background is cliche at best. character design? where? Hepius is the best but a mentor/supporting character can only go so far. Noah is the stereotypical orphan uncaring intelligent Yada yada etc. first few chapters are... hard to get through almost painful it is chaotic with random major points comming from nowhere. I mean I congratulate the authors success but personally it is not for me.
first 4-5 is not a small harem a small harem would be like 2-3 girls/guys depending on the MC's sex or gender and sexuality.also why is everyone so heated about this? it is the authors choice whether or not to use a harem.also though I don't like harems multiple or poly romances are useful tools for story telling or portraying certain dynamics that can be found in real life.a harem specifically is usually centered around one person and that makes me feel icky so if this story does turn into a harem I would drop it.
exactly the reaction needed.
it is probably one of the best BL stories on Web novel currently it does rely on a few established tropes but the narrative is pretty unique. I don't care about grammar but I would recommend you clean up and proof read a few times (I have dysgraphia so I understand the struggle). the SA scene though a bit unexpected would be fine but he goes from crying behind bleachers to telling the guy's girlfriend that his friends would eat her alive? the younger sister is my favourite character she is the type of a person I really like. character design is okay sometimes they change a bit fast and make weird decisions also though I do find the MC annoying I do like the story itself this is not a hateful review. extra notes:sex scenes unrealistic but I don't come into BL expecting anything so you didn't disappoint.though the whole Top/Bottom thing does exist in real life a lot of (sexual and romantic) relationships are usually more nuanced than what is written.similar games were played at schools I've to been to so despite the whole American teen drama genre the premise is pretty believable to me.maybe keep in mind for future books not everyone needs to be LGBTQ , dead, a maniac, a horrible person or a widow, it's fine it makes sense Queer people do often gravitate into a single group but it does make it less believable in such a small setting.I would of given 4.7 stars but webnovel has a weird way of reviewing.
the dust kingdom still exists and will come back into the story in the future but no the mc did not gain territory it was a defensive battle not an invasion into the dust kingdom gaining territory is more complicated than stopping an army from destroying a city and would require a lot more resources.
apologies I try to update roughly once a week but sometimes I may be a day or two off schedule. unless I'm running late I will try to update on Sundays or Mondays I can't just produce a chapter a day or the result will become unreadable. but all that being said I may release an additional chapter if I find the time but usually I stock up on them. thank you for reading.
a little secret (their not permanent) so I didn't put that much thought into them