Don't worry, I'm only taking a break to sort out some personal stuff at home. I will definitely continue this series. Thank you for being patient with me. I promise to deliver good content in the next few weeks.

Lol they are not family. They are friends and neighbours.

Well I intended for the character to be self-absorbed and insufferable. I wanted to show that she was extremely materialistic and cares more about her phone than her life. You say that nobody would act like this but you'd actually be surprised how many people would do this in real life.

Hail evil Canada!

Hey, sure we can connect on Discord: menoninblack#5738

Haha I don't know if that's a good or bad thing lol

Thank you. Corrected.

Yes, they're sending texts. Hence, the abbreviations

I never said my story is perfect either. This is my first written work so I'm well aware that there are issues with it. When I receive criticism that actually helps me improve it, I'm grateful. But you seem to think that the Deathless not being called zombies is somehow a huge issue. That isn't criticism. That's just your personal preference. So don't call me delusion just case I don't conform to your standards. Again, if you don't like it, don't read it.

Whatever you choose to call them, the events of the story would go on the exact same way. That's the way I've designed the story. Whether the characters calls them zombies or not, doesn't matter one bit. Let's say Ray calls them zombies from the very start. Would literally any of the events of the story be effected? Yes, maybe the dialogues will. But none of the plot points. Again, your argument does not make sense to me.

Noted, good sir. I shall keep this in mind for the next zombie apocalypse story I write.

You're saying you want the characters to casually accept the fact that they are in the middle of a zombie apocalypse on the very first day? xD Are you for real man? This is supposed to be set in the real world. The whole concept of zombies is so insane that it boders on dark fantasy. Any normal human being would be in denial at the very beginning. You commented this on chapter 9 so I'm assuming that's all you read. All the 9 chapters you read takes place in like 2-3 hours. You expect everyone to just be woke and know exactly what to do in a situation they never faced before? And for your information, the Deathless aren't techically zombies. I have expanded that in later chapters. But you wouldn't know that since you're just 9 chapters in. So basically you're whole argument makes 0 sense.

When a zombie outbreak happens you're telling me you'll just jump up and deal with it like it's every other Tuesday? Everyone in the story is ordinary people by the way. You talk as if a zombie apocalypse is nothing to worry about xD I don't get you mate. If you don't like the story don't read it. No one is forcing you.

Ok let's say they figure out they're zombies. Is knowign that going to help them survive at all? Why are you so stuck up over such a small detail lol?

You'll have to read and find out.

No, the signal is bad. Most of her words are getting cut out.

They're friends.

Forgive me for this because I'm going to be very blunt. I hope you don't take this as a hateful review because I have nothing against you personally. Instead, it is my intention to point out where your writing needs work so that you can improve. Trust me when I say I am only trying to help you recognize your shortcomings so that you may learn and get better. That being said, please be patient as I list down certain issues your book has. Your main issue is grammar. I noticed numerous grammar and punctuation mistakes within the first half of Chapter 1 itself. I'm sorry to say that the grammar mistakes are so jarring that it made getting immersed in the story really difficult. I realize that English is not your first language. But since you are writing your story in English and for an English audience, you need to make sure there are as little grammar and sentence structure mistakes as possible. If you are unable to identify them youself, please consider finding a proof reader or an editor. The next big concern is that some of your paragraphs shift between topics or scenes in a very unsettling and sudden way. For example, you start the paragraph saying something about Roki's place or origin and then the very next sentence is something completely different that has no connection to the previous sentence. Do not do this. Each paragraph should focus on one point you want your readers to know. Do not jump between multiple points within the same paragraph. Another thing you need to be careful is the use of repeated words and sentences. Once you've established the character did something, you don't have to say it again multiples times. For example, you say that Roki parked his bike, but the very next setence is "After parking his bike". Don't say that. We already know he parked it. [Again this is only one instance in the book. There are multiple palces where I saw this] Also your book has inconsistencies. For example, when you describe Samuel, you clearly say that he has white teeth. But then a few setences later you say Roki made a comment about his yellow teeth. That doesn't make sense. If his teeth were indeed white and Roki was joking about them being yellow then please make it clear to the readers. As it stands now, it seems like two contradicting statements. Finally, when you write as the narrator of the story, you cannot give instructions to your characters. I noticed in one scene in Chapter 1 where as the narrator you say "Don't forget to wear [some clothes]". That was really surprising for me. That ruined the story immersion in an instant. Please avoid talking directly to your characters as the narrator. Honestly I could go on but I feel I have already made my point clear. Again, I really hope you don't get discouraged by this. I am genuinely only trying to help you understand where you need to work on your writing. Please take all these things into consideration. If you make the necessary changes, I will gladly return to ready your book again and change my review. Good luck!

They should already have enough at Ray's place tbh

Lol