Grace_Ibata

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2022-01-09 JoinedGlobal

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Grace_Ibataa year ago
Commented
I would remove this
The creaking sound drew his attention to the ajar door, revealing a glimpse of the mysterious hallway beyond.
Bilaka
Fantasy · Milo_Ibata
Grace_Ibataa year ago
Commented
As he observed Akimas body navigating through exit - a cold etc
As he observed Akima's body, seemingly manipulated by an unseen force, navigating towards the exit, he felt gripped by a sudden surge of anxiety, feeling the weight of the inexplicable press upon him — a cold shiver tracing the contours of his spine.
Bilaka
Fantasy · Milo_Ibata
Grace_Ibataa year ago
Commented
Find synonym for unfolding
Akima on the other hand was distancing himself emotionally, severing the ties of panic to better assess the unfolding spectacle — weaving the threads of his emotions and logic into a cohesive strategy.
Bilaka
Fantasy · Milo_Ibata
Grace_Ibataa year ago
Commented
Akima advanced through the door, a spectral figure.
Malamu's friend stood rooted, witnessing the macabre spectacle of a body moving as if devoid of its own volition. Feet crossed, torso tilted, Akima advanced towards the door, a spectral figure in this unsettling scene.
Bilaka
Fantasy · Milo_Ibata
Grace_Ibataa year ago
Commented
She was ashamed doubly? Why? Isn’t it a good thing her parent survived through her first Shane??
In a bitter twist of irony, she found an unexpected solace in the absence of her parents from the stadium's gruesome theater. Shame had long been a familiar companion, especially in the shadow of her father's perceived shortcomings. Yet, amid the sea of carnage, a perverse gratitude surfaced for their spared lives. She didn't want them in the stadium because she was ashamed of them but that also had saved their lives, she was doubly ashamed.
Bilaka
Fantasy · Milo_Ibata
Grace_Ibata3 years ago
Posted
It’ very rare to have stories set in Africa with African names and African places. Overall I feel this is going to be an interesting story with an already strong world building. Can’t wait to read more
Bilaka
Fantasy · Milo_Ibata