Devils_and_angels

dude you need to remember that homelander could hear their conversation. chill dont just admit to it...

or ban from seven deadly sins

nah I think you should have him the leader of the new guardians of the globe. then it would be perfect. plus its a better counterbalance to the seven.

that kinda worked out though. like the saying 'love at first site.' I dont think anything needs to change really.

you need to work on the character's speech and thoughts. you have them all mixed together so its hard to tell whats what. you keep only useing (") at the end in random places, and you use them for thoughts too. those should ONLY be used if something is being SPOKEN OUT LOUD. Thoughts should use (') if you can fix that and your sentence structure it would read much better and more people would read your stuff.

again..... ' oh, so plot armor. it looks like the heavens are sending me a signal.' he thought

see like this. is this supposed to be a thought or him talking shit outta knowwhere? do you read your own work? this shit doesnt make sense.

"yeah..." seriously its not hard.

your alive!?!

seriously...