DaoistqsoWie

First of all, the premise of this story is quite different from other JJK fanfictions and much more interesting. That alone is enough to justify giving it a higher rating. However, no matter how good the concept is, I can’t say the same about its execution. If the pacing had been a bit slower (not excessively slow) and more detailed, this could have turned into a masterpiece. But there is almost no world-building, and it feels more like a summary of what happens in the manga. The main character’s personality can also feel inconsistent at times. The author seemed to be aiming for something like “the loneliness of a man at the top” when shaping the main character’s emotional state, but due to the fast pacing, this ends up feeling quite superficial. In the chapters I’ve read, the romantic development was very cliché. This was the most disappointing part for me. This story had the potential for an incredible romantic subplot, but instead, the author just picked a girl and suddenly attached her to the main character. I haven’t read all the chapters yet, and these are my thoughts based on what I’ve read so far. It’s definitely not a bad JJK fanfiction, but it’s not at a level I would call a masterpiece either. The idea is very good and engaging. It’s definitely worth reading!!

Honestly, this felt like a very forced plot to me. The main character has killed more people than can be counted so far, and now he suddenly decides not to kill someone, coming up with a ridiculous reason for it. Come on, man—just saying “I don’t want to kill you” would have been enough. Rinzo accepting his father’s death so easily was quite absurd. Staying with the man who killed his father is even more ridiculous than that. “This was my father’s last wish, I must follow it!!” Seriously? You can’t even confirm that your father actually said that. As of now, the main character seems a bit inconsistent in his decisions. I don’t know how you plan to shape his character, but it would be better to settle that early on. I’ll keep reading the story—let’s see what happens next.

Even though it is not his full-power version, Zaraki could win this fight without much difficulty. No matter how strong Garp is, the power gap between the two universes is extremely large.

To be honest, there is absolutely no way Sukuna could have predicted this. From the very beginning, this sword style could have been a cursed technique. Even if Sukuna lived for ten thousand years, he still wouldn’t be able to predict it. The same applies to Gojo. No matter how intelligent they are, at most they could come up with some theories. And those theories would definitely not be about the main character’s reincarnation. Also, the main character is putting himself at risk for no reason. He could have easily come up with an excuse to avoid going on that mission in the first place. After all, the course of the story didn’t change at all (in fact, it got even worse, and the main character became Sukuna’s target). In addition, for some reason I can’t understand, the main character feels the need to explain himself to everyone. He doesn’t owe anyone an explanation. It’s a good story, but some things don’t feel fully established. And from what I understand, you’re using AI while writing certain parts. This leads to repetitive short sentences. Despite some rough edges, your story is quite good. Keep writing and don’t abandon this concept.

Yuki

I’ll be completely honest. Even if you can’t add it as a tag, there are multiple easy ways to clearly state this. If I hadn’t seen this comment, I would have started reading the novel, and the moment I encountered multiple romantic interests in later chapters, I would have closed the novel in frustration. Don’t get me wrong—without even reading it, it’s obvious that you’ve done an excellent job with this novel. However, readers like me don’t enjoy things like harems whose sole purpose is to gratify the audience. The story itself is quite successful. My advice to you is to make this clear either in the summary or in the first chapter.

Ops, I forgot this was a translation.

The idea is quite good, and the grammar is understandable. However, the universe is very chaotic. If it had only been a mix of Marvel and X-Men, it would have been much better. For example, Godzilla is a being that has nothing to do with this universe. Similarly, Transformers don’t really mean much for this setting either. In other words, if it had only been the Marvel universe and if you had developed the main character’s powers in a more understandable way, the story would appeal to a much wider audience. Mixing in so many unrelated elements might not cause problems at first, but it will definitely create a lot of confusion in later chapters. Nevertheless, it’s still a good idea, and your writing is quite strong.

You’re talking about Thor—someone who can withstand the energy of a neutron star. It’s estimated that such a beam releases enough energy to destroy an entire planet. Let me be blunt: aside from divine artifacts and ancient magic, nothing can pierce Thor’s skin. That includes the relatively weak curses and techniques from the Jujutsu Kaisen universe as well.

If you ask me, a party system can make this story a bit difficult. Also, a wrong decision can leave you in front of angry readers. For powerful comrades, I recommend you to think of another method.