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I don't remember if you used the word 'we' before as the narrator. if not, and this is unintentional then I would ask for consistency in narrator perspective since it can be an important part of the narrative. if intentional, then it'll be interesting to see what role the narrator plays
come on author, ligma?
sleep when?
no need to have the word Indeed, it serves no purpose. initially is good enough to transition into the paragraph
redundant
you keep flip flopping between first and third person perspective randomly. be consistent with when you use first person since the first couple of chapters were purely in first person.
it must be relatively normal in comparison to the millions of years these people live. it's not like mc is an extreme outlier, as seen by the fact that ryushin chi was satisfied with mc potential but not really shocked
contradiction, how can you be uncertain but sure at the same time. maybe instead of sure say he felt it was likely
so awkward to say back to mc,just say schadet... instead of mc
hypotheses doesn't fit in this context. change it to guesses