Brandongould

thank you for the review and the advice i will make sure to go back and work on it.

I want to preface this by saying I am a male and normaly do not read romaces nor have much inset to how they normally are written so this mostly opion I did not mind the story, It was intresting enough to hold my intrest and there were parts that with some more detail could bring more insight to charters and the commpond was intresting and would be good to know more about as well as the extant to her abiltys and how the vampires race is dying, are vampires a normal thing that is accpeted in this world or is there something else. But with that aside I will make sure to contue reading to see what happens next

the chapter was good and may be these are explained later but I suggest that in the part that talks about Chirs and his wife and the trouble they had and why she does not want to be around him, You could expanded on that here and give a bit of insight to why he is acting this way. Also the part about her friends talking to her about how his behivar is chaning is good but should maybe also be expaned on like maybe they metchin that he is 30 and has a interest in a underaged girl with would make him a P { I do not fell comfedal writting the word. A person who enjoys being with unaged girls}

your welcome

This is a intersting story from what has been written so far. I am intrested in what will happen next. What I say is my opion and suguestion to help your book become better so please don't take it the wrong way Firstly for me, It was not scary. When I read Horror/Thiller books with are nomarly Steven King. I want to be right there with the MC expericing the horror and the diolage that is written now if given more details to the world and the backround to make me feel like i am there can work. The chapters that you repeated the same dilolage twice is a clever use of diloage and can be used if it is altered in such a way that it is from the other persons perpesive. In genreal this is a good book and has the potional to be a great horror book " If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot" Stephen King

Of the chapters that I read the story is interesting backround and world building. the pace of the story is going at a good pace as for the Charcter Desions I think that if there was more despine to what they looked like and a more indepth look into there personaly would be intresting I will make sure the contue to read this to see what happens next

might want to word that a bit diffrently because of Copyright

Of the chapters that i have read so far I love this book, It has a unique blend of Lovecraftien creatures and fantasy in it, the writting is very good and is descipive enough to were you are fully imarised in the story and the pace of the book goes at a very good pace. the desion of the charters is very descipitve and I have enjoyed the book so far and will contue to read it to see what happens next

thank you for clearing up the issues with my comments you have a deep understand of the Avater the last Airbender show

Of the chapters that i have read the book is interesting and has unique character desions and the world is descired very well. the book is written very well and goes at a good pace I will be sure to contue reading this book to see what happans next