The Accidental Deity ## **Chapter 1: The Mundane and the Divine** --- Evan Reynolds, a college freshman majoring in **Indecisive Studies**, had perfected the art of mediocrity. His days consisted of half-hearted lectures, microwave dinners, and a Netflix queue that rivaled the Library of Alexandria. Life was a gentle stream, and Evan was content to float along, occasionally dipping his toes into the murky waters of existence. One fateful Thursday afternoon, as Evan sat in the back row of "Intro to Existential Boredom," something shifted. The professor droned on about the meaninglessness of life, and Evan's eyelids drooped. But then, a sneeze—a cosmic hiccup—changed everything. The sneeze echoed through the lecture hall, vibrating the very fabric of reality. Evan blinked, expecting to see a fellow student dabbing their nose. Instead, he found himself surrounded by a golden glow. His desk transformed into a marble pedestal, and his backpack sprouted wings. "Uh, what the actual—" Before Evan could finish his eloquent exclamation, a figure materialized before him. Lysandr, silver-eyed and draped in celestial robes, regarded him with a mix of curiosity and mild annoyance. "Congratulations," she said. "You're a god now." Evan blinked. "A what?" "A deity," Lysandra clarified. "A divine being. You know, the whole shebang." "But I was just trying to stifle a sneeze," Evan protested. "And now I'm—what? Zeus? Thor? The guy who invented Post-it notes?" Lysandra sighed. "Not quite. You're more like Antonio Lopez, but with less drama and better taste in snacks." Evan glanced down at his newfound wings. "So, what's my divine portfolio? Pizza delivery? Midterm grade adjustments?" Lysandra gestured to the heavens. "Your domain is the mundane. The overlooked. The forgotten sock under the bed. You're the god of procrastination, lukewarm coffee, and misplaced keys." Evan scratched his head. "And what do I do with this... godhood?" "Maintain the cosmic balance," Lysandra said. "Answer prayers like 'Where did I put my glasses?' or 'Can you make my Wi-Fi faster?'" Evan sighed. "I was hoping for lightning bolts or at least a cool staff." "You get a pocket-sized notepad," Lysandra offered. "And a divine Yelp account." As Evan adjusted to his new reality, he realized that being a god wasn't all it cracked up to be. Sure, he could summon a sandwich at will, but he missed his old life—the mundane, predictable one. The one where existential crises were optional. His first official act as a deity? Blessing a vending machine so it never ran out of Cool Ranch Doritos. The students rejoiced, and Evan wondered if this was his true purpose: to make life a little less dull, one snack at a time. And so, Evan Reynolds, the accidental god, continued his leisurely cruise through existence. He didn't seek luxury, knowledge, or power. Adventure? Maybe if it involved a particularly thrilling game of Solitaire. But deep down, he wondered: Could a god find meaning in the ordinary? Perhaps the universe needed someone to remind it that even divinity had its off days. --- *To be continued...*

i wouldnt like that though, because that would mean his ‘ability’ or wtv it is would have some sort of sentience or awareness to recognize what was killed by him and what was not. Separating it from the classic and simple traits of a vampire where you drink blood and you get more powerful, complicating things.

orrrrrr, the person would have had to die by his hand.

at this point just call eachother

as a hobby tho? 💀

im confused, where is this chapter continuing off from?

oh right. i be in nd out of this novel so i forget things. thanks 👍🏿

if i remember correctly he did indeed say the mc was was 6ft which is why i said this

…

can you add an actual summary, so i can know at least what its about.

even before then the names kept switching back and forth

loved this movie as a kid 😂

wait then why is he the younger brother? bc he was just bought?

i really really like lagertha and every viking fanfic i read i always cross my fingers in hopes shes taken from ragnar. But im hoping not this one, i like this novel. on the other hand tho, i wouldnt say im exactly against it happening tho wink wink

wait huh? on computer?

i’ve just been assuming he’s got some cheat bc he’s the main character. Like maybe he’s an out the box thinker, he’s a super quick learner, or he’ll be stronger and faster than his peers and i’ve just been waiting for the cheat to reveal itself, especially when they treat the mc like some special case. Then it crossed my mind, what if my thoughts are being misled and they literally only treat him and say he is special because he’s black and there’s no cheat. I’ve been laughing the last 2 minutes, that’d be crazy but hilarious.

i was thinking percentage as well

yeah i plan on continuing ofc bc for whatever reason ur story reminds me of peaky blinders nd i like that show so i wanna see where this story’ll turn out as im not even a third of the way through the released chapters so im assuming everything i’ve complained abt gets better. and sorry about those comments, reading em back i felt they seemed a bit harsh but i just didn’t delete them bc i felt they were necessary.

i feel like what’s going is author knows what he’s trying to write nd knows where its all leading to, so in his indulgence he forgets we have no clue as to where any of this is actually leading to so a lot of the pieces are missing, because the writing regarding the bridge between one emotional switch to another is lacking.

yes yes yes. we are businessmen