I disagree that you need to add more day-to-day stuff and I vehemently disagree that he is too OP. This is a power fantasy that doesn't waste time getting bogged down by minutiae. The only thing missing is more chapters, the current ones are perfectly fine.

😢

As a hobbyist writer myself, I can say with certainty that I would never publicize anything I wasn't committed to keeping in my story. Then again, I prefer to plan out the entire story from beginning to end before writing a single chapter, so the circumstances are certainly different. Considering that you are writing this chapter by chapter, you may find that you want to do a rewrite of some parts to better fit with new ideas you have later, so don't rule out changing anything entirely either. In either case you should never let others determine your own creative vision. Let them give suggestions but never let them make the final decision. It's your story so only you can decide what works best in the end.

Don't know if you've decided already, but please don't make Elise a spy. She would be perfect as a yandere love interest for Daniel. Just gotta give some messed up reasons for her joining Team Rocket and her success at raising Fearow to put the icing on the crazy cake.

Depending on how the story ends I may delete or update this review, but what has been written so far is simply the best piece of Fallout fanfiction I have ever found. This story, while holding plenty of unique elements, is a perfect rendition of what a new Fallout game could and should offer. A nostalgic tale reminiscent of retrieving the water chip and leaving Amata behind at the same time. My only complaint is the lack of information about exactly where this is supposed to take place. In most Fallout stories we get numerous allusions to the location, with real life locations and related history being represented. Instead we have a vague setting which, while beautiful and unique, is somewhat shallow without the corresponding history. Otherwise, so long as the story concludes satisfactorily, I'd still give it a 5/5. Brilliantly done.

I always thought Diablo was a terrible name considering that he was supposed to be the Archdemon of Black. Something like Noir or Nocturnal would make more sense, in my opinion, but it seems no one else agrees. Oh well 🤷🏻‍♂️