Toxi_Kitty_Shin
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I see okay. Good luck writing
Mate do you realize that the level of lolicon your dropping to is horrifying. I mean she is just 5 year old she's a kid to be cuddled and hugged and cheeks pinched. A kid. I thought she was abt 12 or something but mate 5 SERIOUSLY. And why not wait till he reaches the school. Until than focus on the fire keeper. Just rewrite and change this. I mean it's literally child marriage. And for what reason do you need to have romance so fast?
Mate for what reason would you a person with common sense marry someone right if the bat. Although I didn't see you mention her age but she couldn't be that young and isn't Momo generally the smarter one so she should be well above average in her age group. And tell me how would someone who died 29 times already be capable of a harem? I mean he will die more and more. By going in those worlds he becomes the ashen one, the hunter, doom slayer now think how would you feel if any of them had a harem? Very out of character right. Well forget the harem part I am just reading cuz of the games nothing more. I mean you could make a greater story by removing romantic interests or lowering it to bare minimum and enable multiverse travel along with increasing the worlds he can interact with in his dreams like Dante's inferno. And my suggestion for relationship Rather than literally doing whatever the heck you did. Make them friends first slowly improve their relationship and somehow make her sympathize by revealing his quirk and develop their relation in a way where she tries to help him go through his troubles and fear and they get closer. Note: I am not good at romantic suggestion but the one I provided up there should be barely good enough. If you had asked any other issues I could provide some insight. And you do realize that any of the characters from the game would demolish BNHA. Like do you think anyone can compare to full powered Ashen one,. Hunter or the ridiculously strong doom slayer. Should have used a bigger playground aka World.
I think I got it. Is it because if the MC revealed his cultivation at first all of his haters would hate him more for being better than them but as the mc isn't capable of improving normally he would be left behind by his peers and his haters would act with much more ferociously in their revenge. So he hid his cultivation.
Mate sorry can't read your novel anymore. I mean what are you gonna do with a dark past if it doesn't affect him. I mean he is literally acting like a otaku who got transferred into a fantasy world. A question tho can you answer it Why would the summoning ritual summon some high school kids from a non magical and low technological world. I mean shouldn't people like soldiers, elite force or general etc. Be summoned. Not some narcissistic and arrogant kids.
Cliche. Author you might want put in a little thinking in what you are making rather than following cliches. My question is why is he not asking about the surroundings? From the lifestyle he has gone through he shouldn't be blushing like an idiot for seeing a girl. He should rather be a little cynical at first. Well from my guess you tried to portray that Nagisa is desperate and is holding onto any form of kindness as his last straw. This could be a chance for good character development if the girl betrays him or something it would make him distrustful towards and more cautious. And not fall into situations which would be detrimental to him.
A fun fact: My strongest Dovahkin was capable enough to defeat molag bal on a one on one(Vigilant of Stendarr). And was literally maxed out. Pretty much lore wise my Dovahkin is literally a god like entity. And also survived a few other things.