RyanSe4

The story is good overall, and I do like how the characters are portrayed, however the actual quality and consistency of the writing is definitely the biggest drawback of this story. A few time skips were not even mentioned, entire days unaccounted for with no mention of them passing, the tense changes from past to present regularly, and the usage of commas is excessive and doesn't make sense often. I do enjoy the story a lot- it would just be a lot better if the actual writing were at a higher level.

I am a bit confused. There doesn't seem to be a mention of a time skip until it mentions Esca's passing.

Reminds me of the GTA 5 Mechanic

I've just noticed something with these stories, Earth refers to the material which makes up the earth, usually on the crust, but this world probably isn't Earth, although I can't think of a word which would work. Soil, Dirt, Ground...they don't really work since Earth magic affects dirt and stone, and ores and such.

She didn't seem very mad... it looks like Billy is the one who is overreacting to me

health*

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

Well. That's quite a lot for a person to go through. The father dies, the mother hangs herself, and then his new love also decides to do the same, leaving him behind all alone even though he tried to hard to keep them safe. Quite selfish if you ask me, although they weren't exactly in the right mindset, it was still selfish regardless.

I think they're confused because Synthia was asking for food a bit quickly after experiencing such a tragic and emotionally difficult situation. I think most people would lose their appetite in this situation.

It's kinda crazy to think how terrifying it would be for a woman in a scenario like this. Almost all men would just be killed or injured, but women are much more at risk to prolonged torture, and it makes you think about how it must be day to day, because in many countries, walking alone at night, and sometimes during the day, is dangerous in that it won't just be a robbery most of the time, but something worse. Of course some men would be raped too by other men or even women, but it would be much rarer.