***forgot to end 'experience' with a parenthese

Ah right, forget to mention that the synopsis makes my eyes bleed holy heckin' balls man and that 'Infinite Sovereign' just doesn't mean anything. Like at all. If it was 'Sovereign of Infinity', sure but 'Infinity' still wouldn't make sense. Add something after Infinite, like 'Sovereign of the Infinite/Myriad Worlds' or just 'Sovereign of All'.

**wrote 'but' for some reason in the last paragraph

*forgot a comma between 'has' and 'character'

Iz me, guy who likes grammar. So yeah, the grammar in this story? 4.5/10 (Relatively better than most other books on the website as the standard has honestly fallen...) Why? Well to begin, small things such as punctuation (ya forget a lot of periods bro), weird choice of words, change in tenses where it shouldn't change, etc... (Small things I know, but these things add up fast and fixing them is easy and eases the reader into a better reading experience. And now to the moderately bigger problem the 1st chapter has character consistency (yes I only read the 1st chapter but if the author already has these types of issues in the beginning, I think it's reasonable to think that these problems exist in the later chapters). Well in this case, narrator consistency. In the beginning, the narrator is describing things in a neutral way; he is 'passive'. But sometimes he 'says' things in a way that makes it seem like a being talking to another; he is more 'active' in these scenarios. And the guy switches between the two rarely but it still confuses the hell out of me. Also another one of the moderate issues is the paragraph structuring which is pretty inconsistent as well. There was one where two separate ideas were placed in the same damn paragraph which makes me worry. Anyway that's that, again most of the issues listed are pretty damn easy to fix if you just proofread or get an editor. Oh my opinion on the story? Idk man. I'm only here to reveiw ze grammar. And even if I were to review it but, you can call me a bastard or whatever, I first gotta be able to read and understand the damn book before forming an opinion on it alright. It's just like the coding shizz from a video game, it don't matter if ya got nuttiest idea if you can't even execute/show it in the first place.

I feel like their would be a better dialogue option than this...

???? These two things do not belong in the same paragraph; they don't got the same subject.

I think 'folks' is the word you're looking for instead of 'fellows'.

Okay, who's the narrator?

Okay, now I'm confused. Sometimes the narrator is written in a way as to make them not a being, yet now they are breaking the fourth wall and interacting with the reader in a way as to seem like a higher being or something.

I don't think this paragraph should have been written as it breaks the immersion and seems to have been written in a different way that makes it so that the narrator doesn't 'sound' the same as what they had been explaining up till this point (i.e. went from explaining a battle in a neutral way with the narrator not being a person to then have 'them' say something a person would explain to another). Also the information provided is useless and not necessary imo.

Wtf, could've sworn this novel was picked but now it ain't?? Anyway I hope a decent novel like this won't get axed and picked over the other subhuman trash which the site is getting ever so more full of.

Giving me some Lord of The Mysteries vibe in this novel, with the titles and victorian setting with magic beneath the surface schtick. Wouldn't be surprised if the author was inspired by LoTM, anyway sinced I haven't even read it yet i might change my review later on after I actually read it.

Subtle

*Forgot to mention that you put a comma before quotation marks when a character is speaking (ex: He said, "Blah blah blah," while talking to someone.)

Character desciption is really detailed. Weird paragraph structure tho (dunno if it's the device I'm using), also uses way too many commas, doesn't capitalise the first letter of charater speech (you do that even if you used a comma before, but also depends on the context). Some grammar mistakes, but the world does seem pretty interesting. Kinda weird names tho, Jinjuso's name sticks out when he meets the dude with the Italian name (or maybe latin idk).

I'm confused as to what is being implied, is the mc referring to the author's worldbuilding as maybe being a bit too excessive or is he thinking that maybe it's a bit too excessive of him to demand the author to put more emphasis on the characters?

Basically another version of the novel/manga "Is it Tough Being a Friend?" but set in a fantasy world. It also has some grammar mistakes (there's already a typo in the synopsis where it's written 'nobel' instead of 'novel', also webnovel is one word) so I suggest getting an editor or proofread more or write it on Word or somethin.

Dunno why he's referring to the students as colleagues

A reference to the island of Avalon, I presume?