Neneme

Hey Author. I’ve been reading a but and have heaviky enjoyed your fan-fic so far. It’s incredibley interesting and you’ve truly shone some amazing light on the “more than one reincarnator” story. But I just can’t wrap ny head around one scene. What was the point of having the judge try to guess and fail at uncovering how the main character made his sushi? It had no impact om the story whatsoever and added no new elements. Not only did it change absolutely nothing, but it simply made what could have been a simple paragraph into a large fillee chapter. You could even remove this entire chapter, and you wouldn’t see much change from the story at all. You could try to justify this as “giving character to an obscure character”. However, this judge, who we will not at all recall in a few chapters, will mot affact the story in any way possible. In other words, it was just a waste of time. I hope you do not see this as something too negative and have this affect your work. I genuinely enjoy your story and hope to see more (as I read future chapters). Anyways, have a pleasent day, dear author.

It is a fan comic based of an anime game called Genshin Impact. I recommend trying the game out.

I completely understand but I think weapons are extremely unexplored in the Dragon Ball universe. Goku’s powerpoll stopped existing when Raditz came along, and Trunk’s sword can somehow, out of some miracle survive blows from a god who went super sayian. I think you should at least try something with weapons, and if weapons from the system reward isn’t viable, why not try ki weapons? Rosè had an extremely wonderful use of Ki manipulation which could make Ki weapons that could pierce right through super siyan blue Goku without a problem (I’m exaggerating a bit but you get the point) maybe Yamcha could abuse his passive skills by using small Ki weapons to fet the boost from every weapon he has trained in. Like Sword technique lvl 10: 50% attack speed; 60% attack. And then he uses a minature ki spear for another buff like Spear technique lvl 10: 20% of piercing enemy; 10% chance to crit on enemy. And so on. In any case I hope you do well with your story. Have a wonderful day, Author.

Heyo Author, have a banana and know of this news. Whether it shall be joyful or sorrowful is up to you. I bring you news that your novel has been uploaded to a large pirated website called “LightNovelWorld” and updates regularly. I do hope you do not feel disheartened by this news rather, if taken positively, you may say that it brings joy to many. From the comments I have seen so far of your novel, it seems that these readers greatly enjoy your work. I wish you the best of luck, Mister Immortal.

Well I’m surprised too. Honestly, some authors leave their works unfinished. But you, you kept going. I have certainly no idea how but you did. And that is something to be proud about. The fact you are already planning the third arc is great in itself. I only hope that you don’t have another harem member falling in love at first sight again. Well good luck.

Sorry for the late response. Pretty sure it might be because of my attempts to swear while bypassing Webnovels strangely constructed filter system. Basically, you can see my review but others can’t. Probably also includes the inability to pin this too. If you want I can make a more family friendly version and post it?

I applaud the author’s dedication, it is awfully difficult to meticulously construct a story while releasing a chapter everyday. So that’s enough praise. I'm gonna tell you a few things that irk me with this. First of all if you’re looking for a unique story with plot twists or hardworking elements look somewhere else. This is your standard wish-fulfillment power fantasy. Main character gets a system, does quests, gets abilities, and picks up girls like Pokémon. Second, if you want to explore and find any interesting ways characters are explored then don’t. Characters are shallow and their thoughts pretty much range to “I love Haru (Gary Sue main character) and will do everything for him.” Pretty much all of the girls fall for his looks and that’s all. Why have character depth when you can have awesome smut, yeah? Oh, and you want there to be any interesting elements with world traveling or new struggles for Gary Sue? Absolutely not. Why have restrictions when you can play on God-mode? Kill an S rank or beyond monsters with a single touch. Oh, and despite there being 200 chapters you would think that the author would, at least, add character depth or like any other way for new harem member 6 or something to fall for Gary Sue but no. The new harem member falls in love with him at first sight. Oh, and did I mention rules suck? Haru agrees that’s why he will go out of his way to completely intimidate powerful authorities like a guildmaster with little to no consequences. I mean nothing at all bad should happen by spooking on of the strongest humans with connections to other even stronger humans should have no consequences. The same should apply to all the cliché nobles. Why? Because he’s the protagonist. That just gets in the way of our power fantasy, why would we ever have that? Let’s keep adding a hundred more harem members and oh, what’s this? The treasured McGuffin that will power up Gary Sue even more? Oh, and let’s add this lazily made boss to make Gary Sue “struggle” for a second and kill him immediately. Yeah, that’s definitely the best way to do this. Let’s also praise Gary Sue for not giving shít to authority. Because noble bad, commoner protagonist good, even if he is a complete aśś. Seriously, the guildmaster decided “Yeah I’m going to help this person that threatened me with his power and do absolutely nothing about this, as a matter of fact, I’ll encourage my niece to marry him!”. What the heck man. And let’s not forget to make the niece, a complete original character who can make weapons begond the Lance weapons. Yes, she should also not at all be renknown for her god-like blacksmithing skills and forced to make weapons by royal family and nobles for plot. Let’s also make it so that this niece (Harem member idk) doesn’t make stuff for people she thinks aren’t worthy. Why? To stroke Gary Sue’s ego, obviously! Now, that’s enough of that. It isn’t bad if you just turn your brain off. This fanfic is just your typical webnovel fanfic so don’t expect much and enjoy. I hope the author doesn’t feel demotivated or anything. It takes dedication to make this and you have it. Even though it is not a masterpiece it’s still something to be proud of. Good job.

My dude…will you ever continue posting any chapters? What happened?

Wohoooo! You’re back! I’m so happy to see your back to writing again! Thank you so much for the chapter author!

Author allow me to say this with absolute honesty. Writing everyday kind of… well sucks to be honest. In my experience trying to fill other’s expectations, a reader’s expectation no-less is quite taxing. Take a break when you need it just make sure to tell the readers how long and the reason why. If you’re still feeling pressured then take a moment to focus on something else, think about the story later. Essentially, relax. Although writing can be very fun it can also become something akin to a second job which can sap your joy away so relax. And use Grammerly for grammer and stuff. I see a lot of… questionable grammer in most fanfics and yes, it can be ignored but sometimes improper wording and grammer can be a little immersion breaking. Well anyways, I better stop babbling on have a wonderful day Author. Please enjoy your writing and working with your parents :)