Chaddts
Writing
of reading
2052
Read books
Way, wag too much telling, and not enough showing. For instance you said the z fighters introduced themselves, vs actually writing the introductions. The difference between telling vs showing is like a Summary vs a scene. You need to write the scene, not a Summary of what happened during the scene.
Another lazy orphan m.c trope. Nothing original here. I tired of the author not wanting to write characters. Over half of the isekai strories on here are " orphan m.c tropes" it's infuriating. Write a story with characters or not, but this orphan crap is unbelievable. Have some pride in your work for (f)ucks sake.
classic case of too much telling and not enough showing. nothing about the story feels organic. Just a rush of meaningless "He did this", "He did that". The first mission was incredibly poorly written. you didnt show us what he did, instead you told us in the most boring way possible, and then timeskipped without building any kind of personlity or relationships with any of the characters.
I truly don't like the world of Harry Potter changing without his influence. You can add stuff ee didn't see, flesh the world out etc, you can even change the story to include his existence, but nothing else. It feels too contrived to change things out of that scope. You could do anything, no matter how wacky. You also messed a bit already. Prophecy's and riddles of the future are fine, but what you have done is moe rhe characters in the world more like N.P.C'S. Fate and Destiny are terrible plot devices. Up there with amnesia, and the orphan trope in the cliche department. Free will needs to be the centerpiece of any story. This makes the characters real, therfore making the world feel real.
That is a terrible and inaccurate analogy. If a women was approached by a black man and said she wasn't interested in him, due to his skin color, that makes her racist? There are plenty of people who are only attracted to certain races or genders and none of that falls under discrimination, that same way as a female lead isn't attractive to read about in an Isekai.