MindHNtR
Proffesional Daydreamer: Amatuer Philosopher
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MindHNtR7mthCommentedYou have a great sense of world building, I'm just having trouble keeping up with the different names and hierarchical structure of the magic system, it's expansive, perhaps maybe give us a rundown of the Magic system so we can better understand it. otherwise keep it up, I struggled a bit with the first chapter but now that I'm past I'm enjoying the story quite a lot actually
Ch 3 GreenDale Town- MindHNtR7mthReplied to UelUel
Retainers, that word immediately brought me back to Vinland Saga 😂
"Vier, Mifumi-sama, Felin-chan, please be careful out there okay." - MindHNtR7mthCommented
The story is great , I'm Hungry for a little more world building which is a good thing coz it shows how immersed I am in the story. Like instead of just vaguely mentioning that Lumina and Celestria having similar cultures or Valeria having the strongest army I would like to know what practices they share culturally and what exactly sets Valeria's army apart from the rest of the world Or maybe in talks about political alliances and tension between the kingdoms, what exactly causes that? Is it a difference in Idealogies, maybe a past war had left a sour taste on the kingdom that ruined their relations or maybe Lumina allied with a Kingdom in a prior war and caused a divide with other kingdoms that were allies of other factions. Lol don't mind me, I'm just ranting about the story that just shows how much I'm enjoying it. But I love your work and this book deserves more attention! 🥳
Ch 5 Forging Alliances - MindHNtR7mthCommented
I don't trust this guy 😂 I don't know why but I don't 😂😂
This paragraph has been deleted. - MindHNtR7mthCommented
oh well, here comes Lumina's Great Depression 🤣🤣
Evangeline's lips curved into a determined smile. "Change is not easy, Lady Audrie, but it is necessary for growth. Our festival is an opportunity to showcase Lumina's willingness to change and embrace a future where unity and acceptance prevail." - MindHNtR7mthCommented
exactly 😅
Lady Audrie met Evangeline's gaze, her expression softening. "Your Highness, I do not doubt your intentions. I merely worry about the resistance we might encounter from those who are resistant to change." - MindHNtR7mthCommented
but then again, external perceptions can damage the kingdom's reputation and other kingdoms may cut ties, leading to breakdowns of economic relations and that sort of stuff, others can even attack when they perceive you as weak. I'm with the financial advisor on this one she doesn't see the bigger picture, or am I on the wrong side [img=thinking]?
Evangeline's gaze shifted to Lady Audrie, who had voiced skepticism earlier. "Lady Audrie, I understand the concerns about external perceptions. However, let us remember that Lumina's identity is not solely defined by tradition or status. It is defined by our values, our actions, and our commitment to progress." - MindHNtR7mthCommented
finally someone said it lol 😂
Lord Aric had expressed his commitment, but Lord Thorne, Lumina's financial expert, voiced his reservations. "Your Highness, I understand the need for progress, but we must also consider the practical implications. Your omega status changes the dynamics of alliances and negotiations. Some kingdoms may view Lumina as vulnerable." - MindHNtR7mthCommented
I'm a sucker for world building. Exploring the relations between these Kingdoms and perhaps mentioning past events that caused this political tension could be great I'm so curious as to why things are the way they are
With each advisor sharing their insights, the discussion continued, touching on matters of trade agreements, cultural exchanges, and strategic collaborations. Despite the productive discussions, there was an underlying tension that couldn't be ignored. The revelation of Evangeline's omega status had casted a shadow over her interactions with her advisors and it was preventing the counsel from providing their insights. - MindHNtR7mthReplied to rcard2go
lol I feel you
That exhilarating, heart-pounding story is just one of my many dreams. But not just some common or ordinary dreams, those are what we call MemoryFragments. These are memories we inherited from the Humans of the 2ndWorld before that world recreated itself. - MindHNtR7mthCommented
Ngl I'm kinda lost with all the expositions but I'm trying to keep up
"Then After that, they drank all night, talking about how they felt at every part of the story. Even the Guild Master and Grandma were drinking that night. The same thing happened to the Soldiers at the Outpost town, and the Guards at the Gates." [mifumi] - MindHNtR7mthCommented
does he atleast get credit for the stories 😂!?
The two of them always act like this whenever I tell them stories about Heroes and Adventurers. That's what gives me the idea of writing those stories that I see in my dreams and publishing them so I can earn money. That's one of the advantages of being a DreamHolder. We always have knowledge and ideas about unusual things and we can turn it into something profitable. - MindHNtR7mthReplied to UelUel
certainly, If readers get past your first chapters then it's smooth sailing from then on, I was also experimental in writing styles and most readers weren't really receptive, so I had to adapt. I'm still working on it though nobody's perfect lol
Ch 1 The Hero of Stick and String - MindHNtR7mthCommented
Hey, I like how you have opted to subvert the character trope of the MC to a more lighthearted comedic person. the chapter was funny, and I enjoyed reading it. But I suggest punctuating the MC'S monologues because sometimes the switch from passive storytelling to the monologues catches me off guard and pulls me out of immersion so it forces me to backtrack, I'm sure most readers will feel the same. maybe Italicizing the monologues would create a better break from the flow of the story. Overall its a great introduction to the readers who are used to reading cultivation novels, not to much information dumping, I hope to read more of it
This book has been deleted. - MindHNtR7mthCommented
the legend of truck-kun continues lol
This book has been deleted. - MindHNtR7mthCommented
I like the pacing of the story so far, it slowly reels us into the narrative, I like that you spaced out character introductions with each of them having a space of their own in separate chapters to interact with the main character. overall great chapter
Ch 1 Bound by duty, yearning for love - MindHNtR7mthCommented
Their speech mannerisms and choice of words have me assume that the setting is somewhat similar to the Victorian era? or am I wrong lol.
Evangeline couldn't believe that her father agreed. She knew, that when her parents mentioned this, that they only thought about including alphas for her to choose from. But she did not want to everything that she has learned all go to waste. She knew that if she chose an alpha as her partner, she'll just be invisible to everyone else. They'll want confirmation from her partner once it's revealed that she is an omega. If she did end up finding an alpha to love, that it will be worth it but she did not want to limit her chances of finding love to just alphas. - MindHNtR7mthCommented
I don't know much about the omegaverse but I had to go google it before I continued reading lol.
"How would that change that no one knows that I am an Omega mother?" - MindHNtR7mthCommented
I'm truly impressed by how skillfully you introduced us to your character and the world she lives in. The chapter struck the perfect balance – it wasn't overly lengthy or burdened with exposition, yet it immediately immersed me in her surroundings. Your mastery of language and expression shone throughout the chapter; it was executed with professionalism, no grammatical errors that might disrupt the narrative flow. The way you integrated elements of lore and worldbuilding was incredibly inviting, drawing the reader in with just the right touch. This chapter is a prime example of a captivating opening, and I have every intention of reading more of your works, I'm certain I'll learn a thing or two. All in all, I give this a 10/10.
Ch 1 Prologue - Princess Evangeline - MindHNtR7mthCommented
I'm not even a page into your book and I already love your writing style, it's so meticulous and poetic. I'm definitely going to enjoy reading this.
In the shadow of this dichotomy, she navigated courtly intrigues and diplomatic negotiations, her every move scrutinized by both her parents and the court. The struggle to conceal her omega status was a dance of deception, and the fear of discovery was a constant fear.