Willem_Trialmont
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another contrivance for a wish fulfillment harem lame and boring why so many people defend the "artistic" choice you made here as some sort of deep dive into a the darker side of humanity instead of as a contrived low-effort justification for harem wankery is beyond me you I understand, them not so much
the idiom is: to make or break
That would be true if he hadn't already done that more than once already. However, even if he hadn't, it's a pointless edgelord monologue. This is one of the things better shown instead of told. It should be easily deduced by the reader from the actions of the character what their 'morals' are.
To make a long story short, an interesting concept but terrible execution. No regard for punctuation or interpunction makes the story unreadable. Filled with unnecessary childish notes that break immersion. Just as I was starting to think the author's going to try and make an interesting deviation from the norm (for this site) he doubles down on the cliches. And while on the subject of cliches, let's end with one. I expected nothing, and yet I was still disappointed. P.S. It honestly boggles the mind how this has a rating of 4.5
if he's so passionate about physics to double dip on his master degree to such a retarded degree why would he ever start teaching highschool ethics? so stupid
the **** is a double masters he can have a bachelors degree, a masters or a Ph.d. in physics or a two masters, one in physics and another in something else
boring and unnecessary this is the fourth or fifth reference to his 'misanthropic' nature. you don't TELL us this you SHOW it to us.
The story is bad, there's nothing more to it. The author has a mediocre grasp of the English language and has an annoying habit of writing meandering redundant sentences. The cannon characters' characterizations are poorly executed, to the point that I'm wondering if he's had anything more than a passing familiarity with the material. The main character is a bad guy a villain if you will, not an anti-hero. He murders and tortures people as a first resort, and only cares for his own benefit. His supposed care for his family is shallow, barely skin deep. And the dialogue waffles between barely believable and so edgy I'd have it cut my lawn. Pass if you value your time.
you have a thing about making redundant statements. lose that thing
pointless edgelord behaviour. less is more
traitors, the word you're looking for is traitors
this is why people think anime is stupid. I AM GOING TO KILL YOUUUUU! *right after this exposition break* this is pants-on-head retarded
the word you're thinking of is Vanguard Avant gard is an art style
Is it really necessary to repeat he's a genius again, and again? Saying it doesn't make it so, either have him do things that show he's a genius or don't. But repeating it over and over again is immersion-breaking and annoying,
the context was obvious this paragraph is unnecessary
The concept is good. Your character is moving fast, perhaps too fast, but that's a personal preference. Your writing style is decent, but you're not that great on the technical side. Misspelling names, titles, technique names, mistakes with the capitalization of words take away from what could be a great story. A spellchecker would be a great asset for you, also proofreading. All in all, a decent concept with poor execution (which can easily be improved upon).
It is perfectly reasonable for your character to NOT interact with EVERY character in the Multiverse. You do know that right?