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Willem_Trialmont

Willem_Trialmont

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2020-11-09 JoinedGlobal
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  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont2yr
    Replied to The_Great_Umi

    And I see you're listed as a fan of your own work. And what a might work it is. Two chapters, one is padding for word count, the other a mediocre setup. Aaaand the fic is already on hiatus. Seriously, the hard work can be seen from a mile away. Don't break that arm patting yourself on the back.

    altalt
    A Thin Man in DC (HIATUS)
    Video Games ¡ The_Great_Umi
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont2yr
    Replied to Daijena

    i'll give it a look

    altalt
    The Giant In Skyrim
    Video Games ¡ Draugr_Overlord
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    another contrivance for a wish fulfillment harem lame and boring why so many people defend the "artistic" choice you made here as some sort of deep dive into a the darker side of humanity instead of as a contrived low-effort justification for harem wankery is beyond me you I understand, them not so much

    As if a bucket of cold water was poured over Yugito. "I... I ha-... no idea..." She sputtered, her mind a complete mess while she tried to make herself appear small as her body uncontrollably shook. That was something she desperately tried to hide and not even her teammates knew about.
    altalt
    In Naruto: Reborn with Talent
    Anime & Comics ¡ KasiCair
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    the idiom is: to make or break

    And then, much to Yozora's amusement, it all came crashing to the decision of the Senju clan. With the influence Tsunade's clan had in Konoha, her word could either make or end Minato's career. And Tsunade did exactly as was expected of her. She safeguarded Rei's interests and made sure to get a whole lot of concessions for herself by giving Minato her vote. In short, come the next war, she would not even be expected to help Konoha and they were utterly unable to make a missing-nin out of her. Considering the economical advantages in favor of the Biri-Biri company she asked for... Minato ended up wanting to rip his hair out after that particular meeting with 'old blond greedy hag'.
    altalt
    In Naruto: Reborn with Talent
    Anime & Comics ¡ KasiCair
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Replied to AllastairDT

    That would be true if he hadn't already done that more than once already. However, even if he hadn't, it's a pointless edgelord monologue. This is one of the things better shown instead of told. It should be easily deduced by the reader from the actions of the character what their 'morals' are.

    I'm evil in the sense that I'm apathetic to the plights of most people that I perceive to be 'evil'. Most humans in this world fall under that category. Almost all of them are extremely racist and have no senes of common decency for anyone they think is different. If the shoe was on the other foot and they were the ones who perceived to be different... They wouldn't last long, I can tell you that much.
    altalt
    The Witcher: Of Serpents and Blood
    Video Games ¡ RevenantSnake
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Posted

    To make a long story short, an interesting concept but terrible execution. No regard for punctuation or interpunction makes the story unreadable. Filled with unnecessary childish notes that break immersion. Just as I was starting to think the author's going to try and make an interesting deviation from the norm (for this site) he doubles down on the cliches. And while on the subject of cliches, let's end with one. I expected nothing, and yet I was still disappointed. P.S. It honestly boggles the mind how this has a rating of 4.5

    altalt
    The Giant In Skyrim
    Video Games ¡ Draugr_Overlord
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Replied to Jacques_PJ_Gigoux

    if he's so passionate about physics to double dip on his master degree to such a retarded degree why would he ever start teaching highschool ethics? so stupid

    "You do know that I have a double masters degree in physics and also gold medals… right?"
    altalt
    DC: A Spatial Manipulator
    Movies ¡ ToothlessS
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    the **** is a double masters he can have a bachelors degree, a masters or a Ph.d. in physics or a two masters, one in physics and another in something else

    "You do know that I have a double masters degree in physics and also gold medals… right?"
    altalt
    DC: A Spatial Manipulator
    Movies ¡ ToothlessS
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    boring and unnecessary this is the fourth or fifth reference to his 'misanthropic' nature. you don't TELL us this you SHOW it to us.

    I'm evil in the sense that I'm apathetic to the plights of most people that I perceive to be 'evil'. Most humans in this world fall under that category. Almost all of them are extremely racist and have no senes of common decency for anyone they think is different. If the shoe was on the other foot and they were the ones who perceived to be different... They wouldn't last long, I can tell you that much.
    altalt
    The Witcher: Of Serpents and Blood
    Video Games ¡ RevenantSnake
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Posted

    The story is bad, there's nothing more to it. The author has a mediocre grasp of the English language and has an annoying habit of writing meandering redundant sentences. The cannon characters' characterizations are poorly executed, to the point that I'm wondering if he's had anything more than a passing familiarity with the material. The main character is a bad guy a villain if you will, not an anti-hero. He murders and tortures people as a first resort, and only cares for his own benefit. His supposed care for his family is shallow, barely skin deep. And the dialogue waffles between barely believable and so edgy I'd have it cut my lawn. Pass if you value your time.

    altalt
    In the DC World with a System
    Anime & Comics ¡ Darthnorther
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    you have a thing about making redundant statements. lose that thing

    Thomas has cancelled each and every meeting in his schedule because of Black Mask death at his hands.
    altalt
    In the DC World with a System
    Anime & Comics ¡ Darthnorther
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    pointless edgelord behaviour. less is more

    What Thomas did with the souls of the people he killed some time ago is something which can give goosebumps to even the bravest souls in the world. He has made sure that they all know what Hell truly means.
    altalt
    In the DC World with a System
    Anime & Comics ¡ Darthnorther
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    traitors, the word you're looking for is traitors

    "What? Genji, you know what will happen when others find out we helped Uzumaki to escape. They will think we are betrayers"
    altalt
    Hard to reincarnate into world of naruto as Iwa shinobi
    Anime & Comics ¡ dragon_guy
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    this is why people think anime is stupid. I AM GOING TO KILL YOUUUUU! *right after this exposition break* this is pants-on-head retarded

    (A/N: he is explaining the jutsu in details to mc and Gari even though they didn't ask for it. typical conversation during anime fights)
    altalt
    Hard to reincarnate into world of naruto as Iwa shinobi
    Anime & Comics ¡ dragon_guy
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Replied to Mysteryon
    "That is natural, I am originally a genius." Ryuu said proudly, simply not modest.
    altalt
    Hiatus:In Naruto with One piece System
    Anime & Comics ¡ Vencha
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    the word you're thinking of is Vanguard Avant gard is an art style

    There were quite a few orcs. This, of course, was not a whole Horde, but only the avant-garde. But if they are already here, says that the first invasion I heard about in my previous life is about to begin. The attacking monsters looked at me with bloody eyes. Each of them possessed some kind of trophies. Whether it's fingers or ears, or just the scalps of the dead.
    altalt
    Alistar Bumblebee
    Book&Literature ¡ alchoz
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    Is it really necessary to repeat he's a genius again, and again? Saying it doesn't make it so, either have him do things that show he's a genius or don't. But repeating it over and over again is immersion-breaking and annoying,

    "That is natural, I am originally a genius." Ryuu said proudly, simply not modest.
    altalt
    Hiatus:In Naruto with One piece System
    Anime & Comics ¡ Vencha
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    the context was obvious this paragraph is unnecessary

    Well Kenshin was just joking so he didn't release his seal. And Kurenai also didn't hit him such that it will cause injury but still Kenshin now have panda eyes (🐼).
    altalt
    Naruto: The Strongest Kenjutsu User
    Anime & Comics ¡ SwordGod007
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Posted

    The concept is good. Your character is moving fast, perhaps too fast, but that's a personal preference. Your writing style is decent, but you're not that great on the technical side. Misspelling names, titles, technique names, mistakes with the capitalization of words take away from what could be a great story. A spellchecker would be a great asset for you, also proofreading. All in all, a decent concept with poor execution (which can easily be improved upon).

    altalt
    000X000X000
    Anime & Comics ¡ Anas_Nazim
    detail
  • Willem_Trialmont
    Willem_Trialmont3yr
    Commented

    It is perfectly reasonable for your character to NOT interact with EVERY character in the Multiverse. You do know that right?

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Marvel This
    TV ¡ WolfSpatial
    detail