Thaddus_Bone

Of all the novels in my back log that I've read so far, this one has the least amount of writing errors and the most interesting story. It's rare for me to read a Sci-Fi series on Webnovel I hope we get an ending.

Teen Romance stories aren't my thing but I was in the contest that this story was entered in and wanted to see how it held up. I can see the passion in the early chapters. And Venus felt like a good atempt at a Watson to the MC Sherlock. I think they needed a few things that they shared a intrest in (other than boys) for me to get invested in there dynamic. All in all a second draft needed.

I liked the idea of the protaganist trying to find the mage that summoned him, but I feel like this needs a second draft. Not just because of the spelling errors, but to flesh out the characters a bit more.

I think the four chapters where a bit out of order. I personally would have switched chapter 3 with chapter 1, since I feel it's more the Magi's story. I feel like all this needs is a second draft, and some character sheet writing to make the cool idea for the plot shine.