I admire you have chosen to share your first story. I'm not sure if you are writing in English or if the work is being translated, but there are several errors which make reading difficult. A program like Grammarly could help eliminate several of the problems such as using past and present tense in the same sentence. I hope you take this as constructive and not petty criticism. You have made the first step of sharing a story of your own creation and that is wonderful.

If it wasn't FOR her tomboyish behavior, there WOULD always be a long queue of MEN for her. They WOULD even BE willing to sell their souls just to have her slivering* attention. *slivering-This is not an appropriate word for what you are trying to impart. I would suggest instead saying, "....just to have a slice of her attention."