review swapper here. I enjoyed the narrative I read so far, and look forward to more releases. keep up the great work, it is a fun read without a doubt!

review swapper here. I enjoyed the story, and look forward to seeing where it goes. if I had one complaint, it was that the reading felt a big clunky; although, this may be my own stylistic preferences as a writer talking. keep up the good work!

review swapper here. the book was lovely, although I don't know what advice to give to mature works, so apologies in advance. still, I can definitely say I both read it and enjoyed it...

steamy! I would move the mature content warning to the bottom of your synopsis, though. they have done seminars on synopsis writing at the discord, check it out if you have the time.

review swapper here. Although I only occasionally read romance novels, I like what I've seen this far. the first person narrative is an especially bold choice, I can't wait to see how you utilize it!

I'm not sure I am a fan of the virtual reality genre to begin with. While I found the premise of the book interesting, it ultimately still lost me at certain points due to my own troubles with suspension of disbelief.

you have a bit of a run on sentence here

while the exposition at the very beginning felt a little stilted, and there were some grammatical errors, I found the story hooking me by the end of the prologue alone. the zone itself is fun and reminds me of what a modern day sequel to escape from new york, and the character interaction is strong and engrossing. if I didn't have twelve other review swaps to do, I would certainly stick around and read further

I can't thank you enough for such glowing praise. please continue to enjoy my work for many weeks to come!

I see that you've quickly addressed the different issues I brought up. since it looks like NJ is indeed the place, I'll give one last localization tip. when I was a kid living In new jersey, we would take the ferry to get to NYC, not a train. to be honest, I am not even sure a train connects the two. then again, amtrack is huge on the east coast, so there might be a stop on its route up new england. I'll also further state that part of the reason we'd take the ferry is because it can ferry your car across with you. thus, as teens with no car, they very well could use a transport I wasn't familiar with. I guess to summarize this rambling critique, I feel it'd be more realistic for them to take ferry and then subway, but don't quote me on it.

thank you so much for your support. I am also pleased you enjoyed the little author thoughts mini-story. Since just begging for power stones didn't seem too fun, I decided to do a little story within a story as a fun little goof. I wasn't even really sure it would get noticed, as I tend to skip those sections when I read. thus, your feedback on that specifically was super helpful for me. thanks again...

thank you for your support. Chapter uploads twice daily btw; this way, your wait won't be a long one...

thank you for your support. as the writer, your reviews and comments and power stones especially make all the difference

hi, writer here. thank you so much for the encouragement... and thank you even more for the power stones. I need a lot of them to win this contest, and you a probably the first person who wasn't me to put one down.

I'll have to admit that, when I read the prologue and found out this author was ESL, my expectations weren't too high. Surprisingly, though, the story was quite well written. everything else aside, I found myself not needing to play localization expert for long. aside from mistaking new jersey from an NYC burrough, her stuff is super accurate. case in point, I had thought the whole 'fancy nightclub in a warehouse' was total bunk. I thus went to my dad, who lived and worked in the NYC area when I was a kid; not even a full sentence into explaining the premise, though, I found out this was a totally real thing which I imagine only fellow new yorkers would readily know off hand. And if that wasn't crazy enough, after the pov switched at chapter 6 I think, I found no more localization errors. you can tell this author has put tremendous work here to make an engaging experience. the saying may be 'write what you know,' but for the author here I feel it really doesn't apply. Good luck and keep at it! signed, totally not a sock puppet for review swapper

thanks for the tip, I hardly noticed it so thanks for heads up

it is not a typo. FBS is meant to be a secret wing of traditional fbi who exclusively handle weird supernatural cases

unless the guy has a tattoo of a church steeple on his neck, I don't see why he'd ask that or why she'd care. Maybe if he was black, because the question would then be a sort of "are you racist" without actually asking that.

most Americans would use in here instead of on. on would be used instead in something like "the digits on there bank statements." but, since nobody walks around with that, I'd just swap for in

so I double checked with my pops on this one since he wasn't a child when we lived in new jersey. while you are technically correct that manhatten has places like this club, you could be more specific by saying "the meat packing district" instead. the only reason I suggest this is because when most people hear manhatten, they think times square. again, you are in the right here, so the change I listed is more suggestion than anything.