Charles_Sexton

your interminable wandering into the lewd jokes of the MC just destroys the story. perhaps it sounds better in your native laguage. in English it comes of as poor and clumsy not funny writing. which is a shame as the nucleus of the story is a gem.

The constant negative anti-gay chat is really juvenile. The only guys I know who are so concerned about other men being attracted to them are the ones in the closet.

The constant repetition of the same content 3x or more in a row gets aggravating. It contributes nothing to the story ans seemingly is just a tool to pad word counts.

Just a personal observation. not enjoying the transition to this second character. Threw a very nice momentum you had developed. if I were not reading this to achieve the daily 10 minute assignment I would have abandoned it at this chapter. In fact I am going to abandon it. I'll look at the options again.

I'm finding that the story is devolving into something like a soap opera. Im skipping huge chunks of the story that are just redundant, repetitive, wordy, and contribute little to nothing for the story. Which saddens me as thete is so much I love about this story but you've crammed too much into the MC. It's like a thanksgiving turkey stuffed with a ham, a pizza, a dozen burgers, a six pack of beer, a whole lobster, Pocky, and Jimmy Hoffa's remains.

for the love of all the gods above, below, and and nearby please fix the pronouns. my brain should not have to fix character genders this much this far at this huge of an expense.

I like the story but you keep repeating the same information over and over again ad nauseum. I honestly dont think your deliberately padding your word count, but more of a translation effect between languages and writing traditions. To me as a Western reader enjoying your novel in English the multi-paragraph regurgitation of exactly the same info 3 or 4 or more times is distracting and destroys the novel.

ok. seriously lots of potential but needs a thorough editing and rewrite. Adding some depth and complexity to the plot and the characters will take this to a 4-5 star level. Having said that Im going to abandon the story at this time, too many errors, to simplistic a plot and cast of characters to continue.

Just my impressions after reading chapter 3. Great world setting. very likable MC. Some minor grammar errors. great promise. Im eager to keep reading.

Despite the small inconsistencies it's a good story. Highly overpriced though. most chapters after 40 requiring 16+ points even after the fairly frequent 10% discount. Cost alone is going to push me away from continuing this novel