There is no developement yet there is only 13 chapters

Sorry for any grammatical errors I wrote this pretty fast so I had a few problomes in some areas

If he puts the work in though

I agree but if he can clean up his act this story can be good

While this story is good it Needs some real work let me give you a list on What you need to fix. 1. The storys pace is too fast for what it should be you need to slow it down a little so we know whats going on because right now it doesn’t make any sense 2. Grammitical errors just please fix this 3. this goes with number one but the flow of the story, to make a good story you need to have flow make it smooth and have it make sense, because the way you have it now is choppy and it really really does not make sense to what is going because I think if you want to add new characters you should at least list the characters background and the reason that this person is here and what this person brings to the story you cant add any mythical items or people if you dont first have substiance to what these characters are they need For they need to actually make sense to the storys plot like let me give you an example, lucifer you could have gave a better reason for why he is here than “to get field training” you should put it as “he is here to recive training for the upcoming battles or he is here to properly learn how to command a squad” or somthing of that manner to really bring life to your character. But besides these few mistakes this story is actually pretty good keep up the good work!

Umm grammarly has a mobile keyboard app that dosent use a password kr even an account so i think your good on that front...