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Just as how first impressions can make it break a person, the first or second chapter usually needs to be strong enough to pull one in, but not so strong that the author can't keep up the consistency. As a former editor for non fiction magazine and an aspiring fiction writer, I have to give full points for writing ability and creativity. Just based on what I read, albeit short read, I felt that the title was slightly misleading. Looking at other stories where the protagonist comes back in time, instead of "Rebirth" a word like "Return" would befit this type of genre better. They both have similar meanings, but Rebirth would refer to a new beginning in an unfamiliar world or setting while Return would make more sense for a fresh start at an earlier save point just as how this novel's protagonist also comes back to an earlier age period and is determined to change his destiny. All this aside, I think I found me a good read to accompany my breaks at work. P.S. I work as a translator in the Japanese Embassy, coupled with my editor experience I can give a few more insightful and constructive criticism/pointers, should the author or anyone else may need. P.S.S. also note English is my third language, so I quite understand the struggle of writing without helpful tools like Grammarly which I use quite regularly.
Fun fact, this has more views than the actual novel...
maybe we should request novels
This has inspired me to release my own Blah novel.
I envy this world. A world where even orphans can get married easily. Our modern realistic world has fewer marriages probably.
Brilliant. The synopsis wasn't cliched. The chapter titles were. Brilliant execution of ideas, well written. So, after reading 2 chapters, I have no idea where this is going.
A decent story, poorly executed but shows promise. I'd recommend finding an editor to work with you if you ever do plan on marketing and publishing this story in the near future. Just needs a lot of polishing, and I'm sure you'll find more readers.
Chapter 2: Chapter 1: Prologue
That last line... this story breaks the fourth wall!!!
When the author sneaks in the MC's name without people realizing it.....