Jgewriter
Proffesional Dickhead and bad writer.
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This story is unlikely to have any ships sailing; this is especially the case with my main character—Aiden 'Freedan Liberia' Api. Aiden is unlikely to develop feelings for someone, or have a character fall for Aiden. I'm basing the story off of Ciel's route in Tsukihime Remake, but there will be changes, so I'm not sure what would happen with Shiki Tohno's relationships. Anyways, if you wish to read the story purely from the prospect that Aiden will attract anyone, then I apologise. Besides, any character who may get attracted to Aiden would most likely be put off as a result of his apathy.
No comment about Arcueid. The best I could think about their relationship is that she would love to 'steal' his heart, and by that, rip it from his chest. Unless I feel that there is a good reason—or that it is in character—for ships to happen, then it will not happen. I suppose I should add that to my review. 'Aiden is unlikely to develop feelings for someone, or have a character fall for Aiden.' Apologies if it's disappointing, but as I stated earlier, it's unlikely to happen.
I will do that.
About the tags, yeah... I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong, but I can't add 'tsukihime' as a tag. Instead, I'm using FSN. My use of the fsn tags will make sense soon; in the next few 'days'—god knows how many months that'll take—a certain wonderful Hero of Justice will appear. I'm happy to hear you like the fanfic currently, though.
I'll definitely provide him a newer introduction in the future though!
Bruh... I just realized that authors can delete comments they don't like. Anyways, I made it a general description because it was the quickest way for me to describe him.
Thanks for the heads up!
Let's start off with the characters first. Adonis and Rune have great chemistry, it's how I imagine what a brother-brother interaction is like. They also seem to inspire each other, happily training with one another and at times sparring. Now to the writing, You capture fight scenes well, giving good details to show a vivid image in readers' imagination, however you know how to use words proficiently enough to capture an action without ruining the flow. There isn't anything else to nitpick, since every small shortcoming you might have will get fixed in the future.
The novel's a great read, however everything escalates at the chapters onwards of 10s, when a character's true goal gets revealed, why they did a certain action. There were also multiple instances heart pounding suspense as you saw the magic system truly unfold before your eyes. The author knows when to reveal information and when to hide it. The main character is incredibly interesting I.M.O, his actions speak far louder than his few words, his past is shrouded in mystery, yet it affects him in a way where he sometimes "crosses the line". (A good thing in this context)
I am not an avid reader of Esports novels, so honestly I have no idea what to commend, what to critique, etc. However I can definitely tell that the first few chapters are to build the story and narrative, because of the exposition I can tell that this will start slow, and then slowly ramp up. It's quite sad that there aren't more chapters, I would have loved to read more.
Mans has his priorities straight.
it really is lol