jaro_onody
of reading
2635
Read books
personaly not a fan of changing the pow every couple lines, it makes the story feel super slow , other than that abit unneeded details like pow from the maid and his sister this just made me skip alot of dialogs. not realy a fan of this writeting where 70% of the chapters dialog is from a side character ,only readed 10chap hope it changes somwhat. otherwise very desent
the biggest problem i have with fiction like this is the mc that feels the need to cath up on the story or story protagonist . im just like why, i dont realy understand that.you have only 10 years before canon starts fuck that you just rushed in and now youre in orario ,weak as fuck with op system that can give skills ,if you survive that is. and that is just not logical or intresting . even without the backstory this feels on unimaginative like most danmachi fics =mc get cheat power ---mc doest think and rushes to orario---mc strugels a bit but gets stronger---mc follows og story abit ----this the point most autors stop writeing or put the story on hiuatus becouse they lack creativtie
im not judging brov
IS A GAY STORY
writing is average, doest have any deep dialogs or interesting things in it. mc is a openbook for everyone ,he letterly says everting about his powers tho the first person he meets even tho there is no reason to. Mc is pretty guilable and bit dom, doest show any personality . total score 3.0 not good but i seen worst first atemps stories on this site
not bad read, but the mc is not the brightest not stupid but yeah,for exaple he keeps showing his powers even tho he says that he wants to keep them secret. mc powers are visual you can see when he using it and what it does so saying that he doest want explain it to others sounds a bit stupid to me. you can lettery say its magic 99%of adventures dont even onderstand magic or how it works same for the most gods in the novel hestia and other magic gods tell that mortal magic is just the manifestation of there hart desire in other word gods dont realy now how mortal magic works
that what i thouhg
story is interesting , continue .........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
GOOGLE translate quality but stil readable, i wonder sometime do the translators even read there own work i mean i onderstand that there are things thats cant be translated 100% but there is no exuse for misnaming a character. just a tip but you can use chat gpt just ask it to change a name to someting your want and it wil do it for the entire chapter easy right .same if you want to refraise a texst for somting that sounds les Chinese
yami
female si just sayin