He didn't know, he had his memory erased.

To continue with the above topic, instead of writing interruptions in the dialog, it could be something like this. So and so listened as the MC talked but soon became irritated with his ramblings and cut him off. "Get to the point, what is it you want." MC didn't care about his irritable nature, he was used to it and simply got to the point with a slight smile. "So, let's get burgers and fries."

It's an enjoyable read. I was a little worried at first when the MC started acting like a lil bitch but it quickly turns around and doesn't dwell on it. Those who don't like pussy MC just give it a sec and it gets better. The only problem I have is the dialog. The descriptions can aptly describe the characters but once a conversation starts I find myself getting lost a bit as it doesn't have any descriptions and all I can picture is them standing there with wooden faces talking one line after another. It's like there's no reaction to what the person said but the next line of dialog comes. Instead of a description it just has an interruption written into the text. For example, the MC can say something to Klause but instead of Klause's reaction to whatever was said the text would be interrupted and Klause starts talking then the MC talks again. It reads like someone on the phone instead of a face to face conversation.

Yes, how could he know the woman related to the witch he knew, the witch he traveled across the country to find was a witch. How could a magic mind-controlling vampire ever investigate a new place before barging in and telling people he's a vampire? The same guy who knew to play the black sympathy card to get invited in turned into a babbling fool the next second.

Let me get this straight. Every witch he has ever met has hated or attacked him the moment they knew he was a vampire. The first thing he did when going to a new place was not to investigate but go straight to the witches who he should know hate him by this point? He's over 50 years old, has lived a hard life, yet still acts like a child? Did he learn nothing in his 30 years of travel with his maker or on his own or did you make him stupid just for plot development? He may know nothing about the supernatural but he has met several witches who hated him but he went to them first like he didn't learn his lesson. So not only is the MC pathetic he doesn't learn from his mistakes? Guess I'm done with this one.

This is probably the worst MC I have ever read about. The author tried to write about someone impulsive but he just comes off as retarted. Even worse is how pathetic he is, who wants to read about an MC that has done nothing but lose since the moment he came into the world? He is a loser who has no redeeming qualities and makes it impossible to like or even care about. Even the Joker has charisma or at leat a trait or goal that makes him a likeable character but the MC has nothing. The worst part is the other characters in the story are brilliant and the MC himself brings down the whole story. If the MC wasn't in the story this would be an excellent DC novel.

That's good, this story is really good and I hope it's longer than your other side character stories as TVD has a lot of potential to be tapped.

Eyes everywhere really? What are they gonna do, if someone finds where he is and then rides on horseback for a week to deliver a letter? Don't add drama that doesn't need to be there. At these times people were limited to a small area in the surrounding environment not small gangs that spanned state borders. Even mafia like the sopranos were limited to a single city and limited to the state. If you want conflict add something new instead of a small gang following across state borders beyond their ability.

A little better, and less chaotic without all these rapid lines of dialog and no descriptions. The last chapter felt like reading an outline rather than an actual novel. Like reading the script to a show with only the lines of dialog and no scene description.

Hmmm, will he learn magic or just hide forever?

Very interesting! Was he a witch? Maybe a siphoner? You said he had a twin, is his father from the Gemini coven?! Maybe I'll just read more, hold on.

The idea is good, he could even use his IQ to create a portal gun to other universes like Suits, Breaking Bad, and The Walking Dead for a weekend getaway. Imagine taking Carl to kill zombies lol.

As I said, that's fine if other shows are introduced but if it's just shameless it makes no sense. He could get ahead by investing in stocks, why go kill people? Unless the world had something Breaking Bad or John Wick it wouldn't make any sense plot-wise. He can live for hundreds of years and drawing attention to himself just to make money doesn't make sense. Even in later chapters, it talks about a bullet wound which doesn't make sense for his regeneration ability, unless it just awakened but it's never mentioned. He hasn't even tested it since he awoke so IDK, he shouldn't even be able to get drunk or high as his body would fight it off so maybe the author forgot.

I don't know about plot, but you have mastered the art of character design and interactions.

Yes, how the parents trust their child and the author not just killing them off or making them oblivious is enjoyable. I like how they aren't holding him back and letting his genius bloom. I saw a novel where Batman was a reincarnation of Tony Stark yet the parents were forcing him to go through grade school and not allowing him to skip grades. When the author was called out he said there were reasons then never explained. The reason was a forced 10-year coma so it didn't matter in the first place.

I was enjoying it, it's well-written and well-thought-out. My only problem is it's taking too long to make money that won't matter. Almost every novel I read where the MC makes all this money they never put in that much effort spending it. After a while it just becomes numbers. If he is doing the math on every penny he makes I want to see the math on every penny he spends if he is going through this much effort and set up for it to matter. Otherwise, he just spends money with a wave of his hand, and I want receipts of how he spends the money. Not just he bigs this and that and the money will never run out in the future.

Everything you just described is so BORING! Why travel around TVD world to find different witch covens to learn magic when the system will just give it? Why get involved in the plot when you can just go into the dungeon to get more powerful? Why make your own magical items when the quest will just give them? Is the system going to fuck her girl too? Why travel to another world when the system can just give everything from that world once you choose a class? It only takes 3 characters to make the entire Harry Potter world useless, will the next class give out 6 infinity stones or the mother box? God forbid she go to those worlds and get them herself, that would be too much plot.

The whole point of you choosing Legacy was the fact it was safe. You say there are people in this world that can hurt MC? Good! That's a reason to get stronger! You just took that entire plot out at the beginning, a normal gamer system is overpowered as it is, you just shoved a bunch of shit down her throat and removed all motivation and conflict out of the story. We could have seen a story about a girl reborn as a witch with a gamer system. Using the ability to learn quickly as a gamer she could have relied on her own magical ability to become a tribrid or something. Instead, we get a story of a girl who was just reborn, because it may be dangerous we need to boost her to be the most powerful in the world before she even meets or interacts with another character in the story. With this system, she doesn't even need to leave her house, good that way she will be safe.

The system is disgusting, the quests make the MC seem like a puppet, the dungeons make the world travel and any participation in the current world useless, and the classes also make the entire story pointless. Why participate in the world and find ways to get stronger when the system will just give it to you, it makes the entire premise of the story and traveling to other worlds pointless. The levels are fine but it should be based on skills she has and practicing to level up, that way she can get stronger faster. The MC of this novel is the system because it does everything and anyone can achieve success with it, the MC has no sense of participation in the story and can be replaced with a pig. Whats the point of picking the world and family if shes just going to be a Harry Potter wizard, you havent even explored the magic of this world.

Good shit, keep up the good work.