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PyroSaiyan

PyroSaiyan

Lv1
2019-03-15 JoinedUnited States
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Writing

1.9h

of reading

62

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5

Moments

185
  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to ssdxd

    No, it's not a sequel to any one specific story, beyond what takes place in Elden Ring.

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    Shadow Sovereign's Second Try
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Posted

    Here's an author obligatory review since I'm writing the story. Go into this one expecting to have some easy fun, that's it. I plan to prioritize fun character interactions, Shadow moments, and overall just have a good time. Obviously, there's an overarching plot, and I hope to create an incredible story to read, but if you're looking for the next masterpiece you probably won't find it here. And for those who are rude or just generally unwanted for bad vibes, I'll easily delete comments and reviews. I find little to no point in entertaining something that's not going to bring me joy. Regardless of that all, I hope you enjoy the story, if you try to give it a read.

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    Shadow Sovereign's Second Try
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
    detail
  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    I could explain it, but it would be a spoiler for the story, so I won't. I'd rather no one else's gets ruined by something they may've randomly stumbled upon. There's a logical reason for Suki's character to do so, and there were other reasons explained in the story. For example, Suki says that the villains threatened to kill her daughter if she contacted any pros. Would she, as a loving mother, risk her daughter's life like that? Furthermore, can her words be trusted at all? She's put Mineta in several precarious situations already, and now she'd be bringing him into another one. Rikko, in part, is supposed to bring these concerns up to Mineta, who's too dumb for attractive women to think about them. Is Suki's reasoning logical? Could she have done other things to help out her daughter? Your confusion is proper for a story like this. All the answers aren't supposed to be given immediately, since this story, in large part, is more akin to a mystery than an action.

    altalt
    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    In your opinion, sure. In my opinion, in a story that's literally about video games, it fits extremely well.

    If I wasn't doing that, I'd make time and go play chess with Rikko. Generally, I'd try prioritizing Quests over training, because Quests were normally limited by some sort of time limit.
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    Well, that's okay. It sucked your enjoyment out of it but it definitely hasn't taken mine away. Thanks for the comments, but it would be best to not read a story that you wouldn't enjoy.

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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    Yes, I rewrote this story from the other version, but I wouldn't rewrite it again.

    Besides, he was trying to keep me, a civilian, safe. He wasn't even worried about his own state, he was just more focused on the situation at hand.
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    Well, you didn't even read enough to actually get to see her develop, so you're saying that from a place of ignorance. Furthermore, you haven't been able to see any of her depth beyond what is first seen.

    If I wasn't doing that, I'd make time and go play chess with Rikko. Generally, I'd try prioritizing Quests over training, because Quests were normally limited by some sort of time limit.
    altalt
    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    For those who read this review, it is, in a sense, correct. Mineta's choices aren't completely logical for this part of the story so far. I think that's in character, and for what I plan on doing, I think it serves the story perfectly. If you want a main character who has it all together and doesn't make dumb mistakes, this story at this point, being ten chapters in, won't be for you. Thanks for the review, _Bruh.

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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    Intelligence in this story doesn't quite work like that. You can be quite smart and make poor decisions, Mineta is, in a lot of ways smart, but when it comes to women he's horribly stupid.

    [Failure Penalty: Death*, ???, ???]
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    No, not at all. She's quite closed off in that sense.

    If I wasn't doing that, I'd make time and go play chess with Rikko. Generally, I'd try prioritizing Quests over training, because Quests were normally limited by some sort of time limit.
    altalt
    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    It's there for a reason. To take it away would be a poor decision.

    Well, I didn't know why I did it. I hadn't given it much thought when I ran out to help. Did that mean I was being brave, or heroic, or just stupid, I don't know. However, what I do know is that I was here, and that Mario was down, partially because of me.
    altalt
    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to _Bruh

    While I've seen some of your comments saying you're going to drop the story altogether, this comment feels worth replying to. This is an intentional choice, so... no, it wouldn't be dropped. That would be a poor decision as the writer.

    Besides, he was trying to keep me, a civilian, safe. He wasn't even worried about his own state, he was just more focused on the situation at hand.
    altalt
    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to timeawayfromstress

    You won't be able to respond to this since I'll delete it, but if you have something actually constructive to say, I'd love to listen to that. Until then, please stop commenting the same annoying comment, because it gets you and me nowhere.

    Ch 2 Suki Kagaku [2]
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to timeawayfromstress

    But what do you mean by that? Could you really tell that my main character has no brain and no logic in a single chapter? Furthermore, could you even tell that an entire novel is garbage in a single chapter? This just seems like trolling.

    Ch 1 Beginning [1]
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to timeawayfromstress

    Thanks? With no actual criticism, I can't even respond to this like it's important, but thanks for the comment nonetheless.

    Ch 3 Theory [3]
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to Overlord_1000

    To be completely honest, a harem story heavily goes against the idea I want for this story, so... it's definitely not gonna be more than three people, if it even gets to the point where it's more than one.

    Ch 4 Combat [4]
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Posted

    Here's an obligatory review, since I'm the author and all that jazz. Simply put, this story is one I've wanted to rewrite for a while, and I've finally gotten around to it. It won't be perfect, and it certainly won't be for everyone. I have the goal to focus more on a mystery, detective story than an OP, weak-to-strong story. If you enjoy mysteries, I hope this will be more up your alley. Regardless, I appreciate everyone who gives this story a try. Even if you didn't like it, I'd really appreciate some legitimate criticism for it. Not just, "I don't like this," but actual reasons for those feelings. Whether that's character actions, how the main character reacts, abilities, or the general writing style. I'd appreciate it no matter what, as proper criticism will allow me to become a better writer overall. Regardless of that all, I hope you enjoy the story. Thanks for reading.

    altalt
    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to fluffytree

    Thank you! I have way more stories over on Wattpad if you'd like to read more of my content, but I'm happy to know you enjoy my writing either way! It means a whole lot to me.

    Ch 10 Victory [10]
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to AstolfoTheFemboy

    A mage? Says who?

    "So, Son, what's the next step?" My mother asked, putting the words together slowly and delicately. We sat at the table together, eating. The sun was setting, and the dusk light reflected off my spoon.
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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  • PyroSaiyan
    PyroSaiyan1yr
    Replied to Lord_Disaster

    This is my story.

    Ch 4 Combat [4]
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    Primordial Files: The Gamer
    Anime & Comics · PyroSaiyan
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